Thursday, 22 September 2005

Day Five and Barely Alive


It's day five of my chocolate free existence. I am not finding that the cravings are so bad that I can't stand it. My problem exists in the fact that my memory and brain function have all but ceased.

I was out in the park with neighbours I have known for a number of years. They were a sea of nameless faces. I couldn't remember their names, those of their furry friends or even the names of my own children for that matter. At least not correctly.

I am finding it amusing, looking back, at how these people reacted to my absence of brain power. I explained to them why I was having problems, and they were very kind as to assist me in any way possible. This became very amusing when I was having trouble searching for appropriate words to finish an idea in a discussion. Anyone looking out at us from the adjoining homes, would have seen a small intimate group of people playing a game of charades in the park with dogs dodging in and out of the circle. The excitement was visible upon each correct guess of a word. This would result in a loud yes being yelled out and the applause that would ultimately follow.

I could feel the empathy emitting from all and after a while just gave up trying to form sentences because I could see how painful it was for them to watch me stumble through another thought. Quick one or two word answers were what seemed to work best.

Eventually, by the time the sun had started to slip down under the pinkish orange horizon, my kind neighbours had started fumbling for words themselves. Calling their own dogs the name of their spouse or child. Funny how something like that becomes contageous. I have managed to make them all uncomfortable in their own speech patterns and thought processes. Well, all except for one person.

This one person, (oh, let's call him Ron...) decided it would be more helpful to lecture me on the evils of chocolate, especially milk chocolate, and how could I have possibly been eating so much as for it to have this kind of affect on me upon trying to give it up. He obviously isn't living in a household with One working husband, four children, two fish and one very big shedding white dog. If he were, maybe he would be struggling with this addiction too! Or possibly even something worse.


Mr. Incredulous said...

My wife would like to know why on earth you are giving up chocolate and doing all this to yourself!!!
"Relax, sit down with a big chocolate... something... a big bag of M&M's? ...and enjoy!"
"...That poor woman!"
I can think of countless vices that are a heck of a lot worse!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

God bless your wife! A woman after my own heart! But, although I can't remember why I gave it up....I'm sure I had a reason that seemed reasonable at the time. If I can make it 'till Saturday night I might have to have a celebratory chocolate feast. Then I'll try to reserve the indulgences for weekends. I must be masochistic!

Mr. Incredulous said...

If you can't (for whatever reason) eat chocolate, have a chocolate bath! Start the bath water, add 1/2 cup powdered milk and 1/3 cup of powdered baking cocoa. Relax, enjoy the bubbles, and try not to drink the bath water!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I was thinking more along the lines of breaking into the Hershey Factory, and swimming in a vat of dark chocolate...or milk chocolate. I'm not picky. At this point I think that that's about all that would do!

Patti said...

Your brain cells are dying from lack of chocolate! You must have been on zero chocolate when you made the decision to give it up, so now get thee to the Hershey Factory, and FAST!

But seriously, if all you want to do is eat less chocolate, then go for the good stuff! Some gourmet dark chocolate I have is so strong a little dab'll do ya! (ok, so it takes a few dabs to get out a column ... who's counting?)