Monday, 2 January 2006

Why do I have to be Canadian??????

I awoke this morning for the second time to a nightmare. It involved skiing, the masculine half of we, and DIVORCE! The first time I awoke, it wasn't to a nightmare, but to the masculine half of we suggesting that I need to purchase a pair of ski boots this week so that I can be ready to start skiing this weekend with my 3 year old. A nightmare situation!

I am Canadian, a fact that I believe we have already established numerous times. I grew up alongside the worlds longest skating rink. News Staff Updated: Thu. Aug. 4 2005 11:31 PM ET

The Rideau Canal Skateway, which has long boasted of being the longest skating rink in the world, can now make it official.
The rink is being recognized by the Guinness Book of Records as the world's largest naturally frozen ice rink.
Stewart Newport, head of research for London-based Guinness World Records, says there are other bodies of water where people skate, but the Rideau rink's services and infrastructure make it unique as an official skating rink.
The rink is a full 7.8-kilometre long and is about the size of 90 Olympic-sized rinks.

I therefore have since longer than I can remember, been a skater. I am good at skating. Very good. I am not good however at skiing. My parents weren't ones to strap a pair of slippery boards to their feet to go plummeting down a steep hill at breakneck speed....or at any speed for that matter. I was not a skiier.

When I met my masculine half at the tender age of 22, part of me became a skiier. The part that is my body. Somehow my soul and spirit never really caught up. I stood atop many a hills crying, wondering how I might get down to the bottom. The ski patrollers bringing me down in a toboggan was even more frightening that making my way down myself, so I always did.

I eventually grew to like skiing when the conditions weren't icy. I can't say that I was thrilled about the various lifts though, being afraid of heights. There are a handful of hills in the area and slightly beyond that I can say I enjoyed. But not the one my family is currently skiing at.

I have taken the last few years off to be pregnant and care for babies. Now it is time for my return to skiing. The masculine half of we has suggested that I take skiing lessons with our friend and neighbour who will now be skiing for her second year. He tried to either irritate or motivate me by suggesting that "you might even be better than her." Oh gee! She's been skiing for a whole two years. I've been skiing since I was 23! I certainly friggin' hope that things fall into place a little quicker once I get going again. Nothing like starting with a group of beginners to feel like a winner!

The most frustrating part of all of this is that he knows what he's talking about since he's a ski instuctor and racing coach on the weekends. So it is with bruised ego that I go shopping for ski boots that will anchor me to slippery boards so that I can go plummeting down steep, steep hills at breakneck speeds with all of the other "winners"....I mean beginners.

Only 3 more months of ski season. [sigh]

To the masculine side of we: I LIKED YOUR PRESERVES THE BEST!!!!

grumble, grumble...ya, I just wanta' know when he plans on taking up in-line skating with me, or how about piano or painting for a really good time.


GoofyJ said...

I have never been skiing in my life. Ever. I think I would be a hilarious act to watch. Have you ever seen the Goofy short on "How to Ski?" Well, that would most definitely be me. If all goes well I may be able to escape your fate. I sincerely hope all goes well for you. :)

fourth_fret said...

i'm another anti skier. something about it just freaks me out. i can water ski. and something about it freaks me out to... i think it's fear of knee injuries. i was forced to watch a movie on alcohol related injuries when i was in high school... (drug/alcohol prevention stuff)... and there was this guy who'd been water skiing (which in my mind is snow skiing minus the hills and trees... and well, snow) while drunk, and... oh wait, you probably don't need any bad stories. heh.

April_Mommy said...

FF, it helps that you are in arizona then doesn't it?

As for skiing, I was terrified of it as well (just ask my hubby who had to get the ski patrol to bring me down the big hill the first time...) Now however, I have taken 8 ski classes and I am much more comfortable. I could even say that I like to ski, well as long as the hill isn't to hard, give me a nice green dot or easy blue square and I am the MASTER I tell ye!

anonymous said...

I skied once as a child on a trip to Wyoming, but not since then. My hobbies were a lot less expensive than skiing. =)

I did absolutely enjoy a skiing weekend in college though, when all the brave folks jettisoned themselves down the hill, while I played euchre by the fire and relaxed in the hot tub.

Good luck! Be Brave! Make us all proud!

C -

Deb said...

You brave soul! The combo of skies and me are an accident looking for a place to happen. I have bad knees; so that's my excuse.

Good luck!