Monday, 24 April 2006

Things are slowly starting to twist back to the abnormal. I can't say for sure that it's a foregone conclusion that things will ever be as bizzare as they once were in my jaunts through the neighbourhood. That would be asking too much. But things are better.

We have gotten into a nice routine of being ready for the bus 5 minutes early. We haven't missed one of late. I just toss the kids onto the moving bus, which "Speedy" slows down only slightly when she's in a good mood. On a bad day I just have to toss them harder. I haven't missed yet, but if I do, my kids are flexible and athletic. They'll bounce back in no time at all. I don't bother to say hello to Speedy in the morning. She scares me. I'm afraid she may run me down in my laneway one day, so I just wait back by the house until tossing time.

I went back to Walmart the other evening only out of sheer necessity. I needed to buy up all of the left over Easter chocolate that was on sale and a shirt. I had my 3.5 year old with me. We were browsing through the shirts when a short petite stick of a woman, with a heavy Eastern European accent approaches me and asks if I know where there is a mirror. I point to one 5 feet away.
"Ah! yes! Gut, gut!"
"Thees looks gut on me....yes?"she asks while adjusting a short orange decorative garment to cover a shirt? I'm not sure exactly what the purpose was of this garment. It looked like it was made out of an orange fishermans net.....but ok. I'll answer her.
"Ya, sure." I say, waiting for her to let me pass.
"Yah! You like it? It's nice? No?"
"Ya, nice." I say watching her start to twist around a bit.
She looks at me with great hope in her eyes. She really seems to need my approval. She really wants me to love it. I'm waiting for her to offer me a job like the last Eastern European I met in Walmart.
There are only a handful of Eastern European people in the city and I seem to be meeting them all at Walmart. There's a bazillion French Canadians in the city and I've never ever ran into one in Walmart. Go figure.
She pauses and waits for further approval and praise.
"yup. Reeeeally nice."
"I hear that orange fishing net look is really in for little itty bitty Eastern European women this year!"
Ok! Maybe I didn't actually say that part. At least not out loud!
I slowly back away. How did I become this womans personal shopper. She's treating me like I'm her daughter out for a girls day out.
"Really nice....see ya. What's that Princess 4 of 4 (my youngest) you need to go pee? oooooh! We'd better hurry!"
My daughter didn't have to go pee. I just made that part up. Sometimes it's good to have kids with you. They are a good excuse for a quick get away.

So, things are starting to get back to the bizarre. Not quite as exciting as before....yet. But I'm on my way back to kookie.


Deb said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!Argh!!!!!!! You're so funny! I laughed my butt off all the way through your post. I could imagine you tossing your kids at the bus. What is it with us and Wal-Mart? LOL! Maybe we are long lost sisters!

BTW, were you able to get your chocolate?

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

not a speck of chocolate least worth eating. Just the waxy yucky stuff!

GoofyJ said...

I hardly ever can find any good chocolate after any holidays. I loved your whole post, I was laughing so hard! My kids walk to school so I haven't had to toss them at the bus yet. Your arms must get awfully tired. :) I know, you could build a giant catapult or sling shot! Just think of the speed you could get on those! heh :)

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

oooooh! I never thought of that goofyj! I'll start building one right away. I can see how it would have potential for other uses as well!

GoofyJ said...

oh, yeah, water balloons for instance . . .

Mr. Incredulous said...

Ya, you findun der chocolate, no?
Deed your leetle preensess have to go pee? No? OK, maybe later, no? Say der hello to und Vicki for me!