Monday 14 August 2006

Gno! Say It Ain't So!

It was a substitute for our missed Thursday evening romps through the neighbourhood, coffee in tow. There was a couple of weeks worth of conversation to make up for. News was exchanged.

A strange thing happens when you fall out of a regular routine for a time. Muscles take offence to being fired up after a vacation. Coffee shops close earlier than was previously the norm. The long and short of it is that we landed up back in the yard of adventures abode.

We had been coming to the end of a refreshingly cleansing discussion. Purging all of the anxieties of the past weeks under the bright light of a 3/4 moon. The grass felt greener in her garden. The air cool, the chairs more comfortable. The neighbours more interesting than the walker clad ones inhabiting mine. The soft bubbling from the koi pond in the background. Perfect peace! And then I saw IT!

Much to my alarm, out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of a flash of red. Normally under these circumstances I would feign ignorance to the offending creature, but unfortunately I stopped mid sentence and froze. Like a tongue on an icy door handle on a cold winters day (yes, I have unfortunately tried this. As a child of course!)

"Oh gno! You have.....a gnome." I mutter as if in doing so quietly it won't take notice of my knowledge of it's presence in the yard.

"Yes, but it's not the other kind." she calmly replies.

I'm not sure I know what she meant by "the other kind." I believe she may have been referring to the fact that it was not an actual forest gnome. I couldn't ask for an explanation. Much to my chagrin, one of my most favourite safe and happy places had been assimilated by them.

Sadly my friends, I have to report that Adventurer, a previously brave mocker of lawn ornamentation, is in posession of a lawn gnome. Or actually....a lawn gnome has taken possession of her family.

Be afraid.....be VERY afraid. You may be next!

7 comments:

Kurt said...

I wish I had a lawn.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh Gnoms have take over the Alberta part of Adventuere's family. It is in the Flower Bed holding on to a solar lighted lamp post. What to do, what to do, but it has such a cute smile. Oh my, oh my

Anonymous said...

Gnomes? I've got gnomes? I though that they were CU-3's little friends from day care.

Upon closer inspection, you'll see that the gnomes appear to be in a drunken stupor, so I guess they're mostly harmless.

Asaph's Table said...

Gnome atter where you may groam, You gno you can't escape the Gnome.
Through rust and chrome,
O'er brick and stone;
You'll yearn for a gnome in your home in Nome.
--The Roaming Gnome

(Poem sponsored by Travelocity)

Deb said...

They're after you, grab your children and run for the hills! theme from the TWILIGHT ZONE is heard in the background.

jon said...

Fight back! Get one of those guys that look like jockeys! Or one of those plywood cutouts that look like an old lady bending over.

Rainypete said...

Sounds like you need to buy Adventurer a gift.