Monday, 5 January 2009

Politically Correct

Anyone who reads this blog may notice that I've added "Feedjit" to my sidebar. I was curious about the number of readers and who they were. I have to say I thought there were maybe a very small number of people who actually checked out what was happening in my world. After all, what is family for;-) I was shocked to see the map start to light up in places like Scotland, Asia, Australia and multiple sites in the U.S. and across Canada. (I noticed that the Canadian map is suspiciously devoid of visitors from the middle provinces. I don't think anyone between Alberta and Ontario owns a computer.) Since there seem to be people who have happened upon my blog either accidentally or on purpose, (poor souls) I have a bit of a dilemma.

My daughter, Two of Four, asked me for two of my business cards this evening. Apparently she wanted to supply her teachers with my web site which happens to also have a link to my blog. Uh oh!!!!!!! Not only do I have to worry about offending persons from other countries, but now I may have to worry about persons who grade the work of my children! I'm going to have to improve my spelling and grammar! I hate that!!! It made me reflect upon past posts and there anything there that I wouldn't want my Grandmother to read. That's usually a good indicator of readability. Wait, no, maybe not MY Grandmother, but a normal prim and proper Grandmother. Not a rockin', leather wearing 96 year old French Canadian babe grandmother.

I think I'm okay. At least for the last month. (I make no promises for posts before those!) It has made me realize though, that it may be time to tow the Canadian line and become more politically correct. So my goal for the new year is to be (and this is definitely NOT a New Years resolution):

a) Upbeat, positive and happy
b) More politically correct (actually, politically correct for the first time ever!)
c) Not use foul language, talk about unmentionables such as undergarments, and write of interesting body parts with their correct names.

That being said, I will start directly after the following post.

I was in the car sitting beside my Grandmother after having just visited the Hershey chocolate factory is Smiths Falls. (Curse that blasted company to H.E. double hockey sticks, now that they have closed and laid off an entire town's worth of workers!) Anyhow, this was when we still liked them before the closing of the plant and would still eat their chocolate. We were there pretty much every weekend, being a chocoholic and all. It was oh so close to our cottage how could I not?

Well I had a hankerin' for some chocolate (imagine that!) and I was thinking about Recess pieces and chocolate covered peanuts at the same time. Unfortunately! I turned to my Grandmother and asked her to pass me the Recess Penises. (I'm not sure what the plural of penis is or how it is spelled. Sorry!)

The car went silent. Then my Grandmother burst out in uproarious laughter. I turned beat red and sunk into my seat. Back a few years ago, I didn't see my Grandmother as anything but prim and proper and I was horrified that I had used the "P" word in front of her! That would surely be the end of it right? Nooooo!

Well Grandma went home and just about ran up to my step-Grandfather and blurted out my verbal blunder increasing my humiliation ten fold. He was a relatively new addition to the family having just become her husband at the tender age of 76ish. It didn't stop there. For many a years to come I had to hear about how I was going to the Hershey factory for Recess penises. I don't even like the blasted things. I'd rather just have nuts. Chocolate covered peanuts I mean.

Oh ya. One last thing. Big family vacation to Florida. Haven't decided if Vicki Stripes my traveling underwear will be coming or not. We'll see.

I will now start to be more politically correct, non-vulgar, and proper, blah, blah, blah.



BONNIE K said...

How could grandma NOT laugh at this blunder?

Grandma "C" said...

Oh yea, Alberta checks out your blog, at least this Grandma does. Don't be too proper, and politically correct, that's boring.
Oh and by the way, Happy New Year to you the Mr. and all 4 of 4.

Kurt said...

Why do people from other countries travel to Florida? It's a pit! Florida must do some excellent advertising around the world.