Thursday, 5 February 2009

I Apologize Profusely .....

.....but I just have to rant or I'm going to have a stroke or something.

Today was the glorious day that I had to bring 2 and 4 of 4 for their semi-annual dental check-up. It was also a new hygienist. This office changes staff like some people change underwear so I wasn't overly surprised to see someone new.

After 4 of 4's cleaning I was called before the dental hygienist. She has always had perfect teeth up until now. The conversation went something like this:

"Ms. Chocoholic, I did the cleaning and found there may be "cavities" in your daughters mouth." she pretty much whispered this.

"Uh Huh...." I replied suspiciously.

"I also found lots of plaque and some ..... [gasp] tartar!!!!" she said wide eyed.

"Okay....." I again replied

"She is going to need to start flossing!!! You know, floss. Do you know how to use floss Ms. Chocoholic?" she asked in her most serious condescending voice. "....and she should be using a toothbrush for kids. One with a smaller head, not an adult one! .....and you're going to have to brush them for her."

"I'm 43 friggin' years old. Do you think I've been living on the blasted moon?! Do I look like I've just arrived from a flippin' third world country? Maybe I just fell off the turnip truck!!!! D'uh...what's floss? Do you use it to get the toe jam out from between your toes?! They make toothbrushes for kids? Reallllly? I thought you didn't have to clean your teeth until you hit 40. MORON! I THINK I DAMN WELL KNOW WHAT DENTAL FLOSS IS AND I EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE IT. And we actually have childrens floss and brushes and rubber tip stimulators and sulca brushes, not to mention the blue dye that shows them any spots they've missed so they can brush again. One of the kids actually has an electric toothbrush that sings a Hannah Montana song for two LLLLLLONG minutes each time she brushes her teeth!!!? And since I'm supposed to brush her teeth, ya want I should wipe her little bottom too when she goes for a poopie?" Okay, I didn't acutally say this but ruminated all the way home. I meekly replied,

"Yes, we even have the special little flossing sticks for the kids and each child does have a child's toothbrush not an adult one." I said as I turned and left the room.

Then 2 of 4 went in. I braced myself. Out of all four of our kids she is the only one who has had cavities. Or at least was. We have a horrible time cleaning her teeth for some reason, but do just the same.

At then end of her appointment I heard her tell the receptionist we'd be setting up their next appointments earlier than previously scheduled once she talked to "the mother."

"Ms. Chocoholic, 2 of 4 has terrible plaque deposits on her teeth." she says in her sternest, you suck at parenting voice.

"It's an ongoing issue, but she does brush and I help her occasionally to cull the problem, but I don't expect that will change. No matter what we do there are always issues." I'm biting my tongue. I am behaving.

"Well, maybe you could start brushing her teeth for her, at least once a week." she glared while she said this.

"I do help her scrape off plaque, but the crazy stuff just keeps acomin' back!" I tried to stay calm as I replied.

"Well I have an 11 year old and I even still brush their teeth! We have lots of other kids in here who have perfect teeth and have no plaque whatsoever....." she says turning away as to not meet my eye. She must have seen the spark ignite and decided she wanted to see the fireworks, just not be blinded by them!

"I am not brushing my 11 year olds teeth. I will help her, but I WILL NOT BRUSH HER TEETH! She can brush them herself with my occasional assistance or she can GET FRIGGING DENTURES WHEN THEY ALL FALL OUT!!! WHATEVER!!!!" I did say this just before I stomped away.

Our last dentist was extremely pleased with my children's dental hygeine. He had said that they'd have their teeth forever, except that 2 of 4 did have softer teeth. Sadly he couldn't continue on as their dentist.

I was already looking at changing their dentist. Mr. P. thought they seemed to always be looking for something to fill, or do beyond the normal. Their offices always seem quiet and it makes me wonder if they are lacking in a customer base and therefore going that extra mile to make money.

Sadly, I'm sure that she is a wonderful hygienist and seems very nice. I don't like being treated like I'm an imbicile and if I wanted a lecture I'd just call my mother (Just joking MOM!)

If you read through this thinking it was the next step in the coloured pencil painting, well, I'll try to get to that in the next couple of days.


Kurt said...

Um, yeah. No way should anyone be brushing their kids' teeth. Life is too short.

Grandma "C" said...

Yup, I agree. I think they have too much time on their hands, or feet, or whatever. Time to change.

richgold said...

Well, I was coming to check on the next lesson.

The dentist rant was way better, in some way, though. It means I can put off the learn'n bits.

I guess they don't got to the dentist you put me onto many years back. I still love my non-lecturing hygienist.

And, the kids' dentist stopped giving me the evil eye long ago. I guess they had their fill with the elder two's father, and realize I might be the easier to deal with after all!

re floss. I'm lucky if I can get Child Unit 4 to STOP using CU 1 through 3's tooth brushes! Floss! Snork. I don't think so. (Floss is for sewing buttons onto blue jeans!)

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

LOL Adventurer! Are your toothbrushes at least staying out of the toilet now?

Unfortunately Dr. C. couldn't take them on as patients so they went to Mr. P.'s dentist....whom has since sold the practise so we inherited this unholy mess of an office. Nice thing about dental offices is that there are a gazillion of 'em just ready to jump on us for our business. Not like doctors!

Serena said...

How condescending and rude of her!!! It's funny that, growing up, floss was unheard of and I was lucky if I cleaned my teeth once a day as a child and now, turning 50 next month, I can happily say I still have ALL my teeth, in tact, and healthy...though I admit to the odd filling and I don't floss daily. Admittedly, we didn't have the junk food that is out there now but regardless.....the hygenist needs to stop being so pedantic! I would have been livid!

How ridiculous to expect you to brush your kids' teeth at their ages.

tut-tut said...

Well, you see, it's ME who gets this lecture. And sometimes a DEMO! You can't help your teeth or your genetics. Sigh. Argh. etc.

Patti said...

You exercised amazing restraint. We get our lectures straight from the dentist (and the hygenists tell us how great our kids are!)

btw, The Peanut has the same placque problem. And cavities, and next braces. Poor kid has glasses too, so the acne must be next. ;)

bella rum said...

Wow! I never brushed my kid's teeth when he was eleven years old. He's in his thirties now and still has all of them. I'm good with that. I think you did very well to control yourself.

Sariah said...

Crap. Reading this I am now realizing just what a bad mom I am. My kids have never been to the dentist (we have never been able to afford dental insurance) and I am scared to death of the dentist, so I never pushed it. I know my kids don't brush well enough, but I try. I'm sure they all have cavaties. And flossing? That's a hit and miss. Doesn't EVERYONE get plaque though... no matter what? I mean, we can't all have perfect movie star teeth... oh wait. Those are fake anyway... all veneers and bleached and capped and stuff. Anyways, now I'm scared to actually take the kids to the dentist because I will get the biggest lecture. Not looking forward to that.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for speaking out! She had no right to speak to you in that way - talk about terrible bed-side manner.

I have a great dentist - you might want to look her up. This is sister to white-mocha by the way. Let me know!

VE said...

Why are turnip trucks so difficult to ride in? It seems like everyone falls off them...

GoofyJ said...

Oh good grief - doesn't she realize that plaque and tarter acumulates faster on some peoples teeth than others? I get build up on some of my teeth really fast and I brush those spots a lot and carefuuly too - my kids take after me it seems, but we, thankfuly have an understanding hygenist and dentist