Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Guest Post #5 by Kurt of Other People Exist

Today I will be traveling via jet airplane from the large and famous American city where I live to a different city in another place.

Lately, whenever I fly, at some point I become convinced that the plane is crashing. The last time I flew, the plane descended rapidly from 35,000 feet to 8,000 feet while we were still an hour away from our destination city, which I've forgotten. I knew death was imminent, and if "Sully" Sullenberger has taught us anything, it's that, in a crash-type situation, there isn't an announcement until right before you die ("Brace for impact," he announced, a few seconds before he landed in a river). As it turned out, I didn't die; the captain was presumably just crazy and/or high.

Whenever I become convinced that the plane is crashing, I look to the flight attendants, and if they appear calm, I conclude that perhaps I am wrong, and perhaps we are not falling from the sky. Once, over the Pacific, our plane flew through a bad storm. We were tossed about, and water started dripping from the ceiling. The captain instructed the flight attendants to take their seats, and I noticed that one flight attendant had a look of pure terror on his face. That worried me.

Unexpectedly, I lived, and so did the flight attendant. They say you are more likely to die while horsing around with a loaded gun than while traveling by plane. While, intellectually, I understand that, I love horseplay too much to stop.

9 comments:

Julie-ann Bowden said...

Oh thew! Glad that one was over for you, what a ride!

emma said...

And tomfoolery!!!!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Glad you had a chance to post again before your trip in case you die. At least now we'll have something to remember you by. If you do indeed die, please let us know immediately prior to said crash so we will know not to expect any further postings from you.

Have a nice trip and break a leg....or whatever they say to give you luck while flying.

Megan said...

Which one of them is you?

tony said...

A "High" Pilot is a Good Pilot.Non?
Did you know that the "Brace Position" [i.e. Where you stick One's head into one's lap]Is to preserve the dental records for identification........

emma said...

But tony what if you have dentures and they fly out during impact? Then what?

Kurt said...

ps: I lived.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

pps: WooHoo! Happy....whatever it is you do while you are there for whatever reason you went.

ppps: Hey, aren't you supposed to be working on the next issue of your zine?

Kurt said...

I'm getting inspiration.