My 9 year old called the family in to ever so proudly show the food chain she had been working on all evening for school. Mr. P. reminded her earlier that feces was part of the chain so she quickly added it in. Being in French immersion, she was required to complete this task in French as she is learning Science using only French. She used the internet as a translator for the words she didn't know.
Beside a cute little picture of a pile of poo were the following words:
Her bilingual sisters burst into hysterics and she turned red.
"But I used Google translator" she said vehemently.
Indeed it does translate poop that way. But were she to complete her project in English and write 'shit' we'd probably find it unacceptable.
I used Google to translate the following:
I need to go poo = J'ai besoin d'allercaca (Google then asks "Did you mean poop?")
I need to go poop = J'ai besoin d'allermerde
I need to defecate = J'ai besoinde déféquer (but who the heck says that!)
Another dictionary I checked shows the various ways in which merde is used. From the innocent to the most vulgar (heavy on the most vulgar side.)
So what did I learn?
I asked my 14 year old what she says when she has to go .... merde ..... at school. She says they just don't say that.
Thinking about this further I realized that generally I don't tell too many people that I have to go .....well, you know. I just quietly excuse myself for a washroom break. Those that do like to share this kind of information with others (and you know who you are, and no, it's not Mr. P.) the level of vulgarity used is split about 50/50.
BTW....if you want to say the "shit hit the fan" it's "la merdea frappéle ventilateur"
And finally....why is shit féminine?
I haven't blogged in almost a month and when I finally do it's shit;-)
Only two more sleeps until the show at Orange gallery. It actually starts tomorrow but the vernissage isn't 'till Thursday. So, if you're in the neighbourhood...... If I pretend not to know you though, just go with that okay;-)
I told my parents if they go they can't embarrass me. I told Mr. P. to keep his comments about the most excellent title he chose to himself. I'm not bringing the kids so they won't have to complain the whole time about looking at the nudes.
Now if I can manage to not embarrass myself......hmmm, no.....that's not possible. Some how, some way I'll make a fool of myself and be ostricized by the local art community. I'm just going to have to keep repeating to myself....keep your mouth shut, keep your mouth shut. Actually, that in itself might draw some attention.
I'm reading Giorgio Vasari's "The Lives of the Artists". In reading this it got me to thinking about what kind of person Vasari was. Living during the 1500's he wrote about the artists of the time such as Donatello, Rapheal, Leonardo da Vinci, and his friend Michelangelo. What if he was just one of those people who is "full of it." You know the type. They make stuff up to make it appear as if they really are hot poop.
Now I know historians would have torn his works apart (and have) and have made corrections where warrented, but how do we know if the more intimate stories he tells are true.
Then I got to wondering after reading about Donatello and Michelangelo and Rapheal how they would feel about being imortalized the way they are today. You know....as Teenaged Muntant Ninja Turtles. Cause if I mention their names that's what alot of the younger generation thinks about;-) I haven't read Leonardo's biography yet, but seeing as he was quite the inventor he might get a kick out of the whole movie/television thing but who knows.
How these people live just seems so far from what I think of as an artist today. They are so singular in their purpose that they remind me more of, well....... nerds. Computer nerds to be exact. If they lived today I wonder if they would still make art/architecture their career choice. I guess God plants us where we'd grow best. Out of all of these I think I'd like to meet Michelangelo (although I'd love to watch Leonardo paint the Mona Lisa!) the best.
After reading Vasari's work I now realize that in the Universe there is God, then his most perfect human creation Michelangelo and then the rest of the world. He filled many pages with his praises about how perfect Michelangelo was in every way. Describing him physically and mentally. Geez Vasari...get a room or something. He sounds a bit like renaissance version of a stalker. One example is he sent over 40lbs of candles at 2 in the morning to Michelangelo as a gift. Who does that? Seriously? 2am? Michelangelo didn't accept gifts from people as he didn't want to ever be indebted to anyone and tried to return them but Vasari's servant said,
"Mike dude, (now I'm paraphrasing here) it's 40lbs of candles, and my arms are tired after walking all the way over here at 2am in the friggin' morning. If you don't take 'em I'm gonna stick 'em in the dirt and light 'em all on your front lawn."
Michelangelo told him he wasn't up for that kind of practical joke at 2 in the morning and accepted them.
Now to be fair to Vasari, Michelangelo rarely slept so the guy was probably already up if we are to believe Vasari. But who really knows.
Any how, this whole thing got me thinking about how it would be to meet some of these people. Would they be as fabulous as history would have us believe? Humble and frugal and rich and smart and perfect in every way? And how will today's artists be seen in the future? Will there even be some who will hold a place in history as these "greats" do? I'm thinking no. Probably not. I believe the birth of some of the technological advances we've made will foreshadow everything else from our time 500 years from now. But again, who knows. I guess time will tell.
So this morning the coffee shop was crowded. I had to sit at a table a little more in the open than I like. When I sit in a corner or on the patio where I can usually shield what I'm doing to dissuade any complaints about my activities. I didn't mind so much today as I was drawing from a picture and not trying to sneak peeks at the patrons. When I sat down, one of the ladies at the table beside me looked uncomfortable at my arrival. I didn't recognize her or remember seeing her before but I could see her sneaking glances my way and shifting around in her chair. Later they started up a conversation with me about my scribbling. The uncomfortable one mentioned that she had seen me on previous visits drawing. Usually not from a photo though, but using my own hand or something in the coffee shop. She seemed relieved when she saw the picture was the above one and not her face. What's that? Why do I spend so much time in coffee shops making people uncomfortable?
1) I like to.
2) 1, 2, 3, 4 and all of their friends.
3) I don't have to do the dishes when I'm finished.
The other day I walked into the house to find 7 extra kids in my house. 11 in all. There were kids in pretty much every room of my house. Not conducive to productivity in the area of art. I like that we have a safe place that kids can come hang out, but I can't work at home. Also, I have not a scrap of food (other than vegetables) in my home at the end of the day once they've been into the food stuff and I don't want vegetables for breakfast.
p.s. btw, if I buy more food they eat more food so it's not for a lack of trying to keep the cupboards and fridge stocked.
Hope you arrived at Grandma C's safely sans me. I'm doing well and have spend the last few days training the help. I now have them believing that I can be trusted off the leash at least in the back field. The front may still take some convincing as I like to play "chase me" when I get out into the front and they don't see the humour in this game. I'm sleeping with 1 of 4 this week and like to sleep on her face. Well, actually I sleep on her face until she pushes me over to the pillow which is good too.
We are having some issues with the food service though. Perp was growing concerned after I refused to eat more than a few kibbles (she wouldn't pre-chew my food for me.) I did try some of that other dogs food and found it to my liking and have learned that if I make a cute face and sit real pretty I get a few table scraps as well...ooops, I don't think I was supposed to tell you that part.
I have been a good boy and come when I'm called in the house with the pig call, but have a giggle when I hear them trying to call me that way outdoors. They've gotten some pretty odd looks from neighbours and fellow dog walkers when seen standing in the middle of the field calling "soo-ee, here pig, pig, pig and I pretend I don't know what they're talking about. That was a good joke. Glad you thought of it.
I miss you and hope you're having a good time even though I can't be there.
"The Boxer" completed. Unfortunately I had to miss one of the three half day sessions with the model. I would have worked it more if I could have. Anyhow, time to move on.
This was today's model from this afternoon. This was the fellow that I used to think looked like Kurt but he seems to have grown out of it. Maybe if Kurt had long hair a beard, moustache and was looking like a lush in a chair naked and had a upper class British accent they would look more alike.
I drew this with my right hand.
I drew this with my left hand.
I drew this with no hands.....wait, that's not right.
I can draw hands, unfortunately just not when they are attached to a body. Huh.
This is the new painting we've started that has another 6 hours of model time to complete. We get 9 hours a painting and believe me, it's never enough. I've only ever finished one painting.
This model is so dedicated that he actually went out and got a horrificly painful looking black eye just for the pose. He then agreed to let one of the artists punch him again next week to freshen up the eye if it's healed too much.
Okay, truthfully, he did have a black eye but it was from a biking accident and it was worked it into the pose. I have to admit....it's so much fun to actually paint clothes onto someone for a change I may actually start painting people at home on my own time in oil.
This is a model from a book/cd called Virtual Pose 3. His name is Pose Number 55. You can bring the image up on your computer and rotate the model 360 degrees. Doesn't he look aerodynamic? They smooth their surface out so much they don't even have butt holes. Funny thing is that most live models are good at chosing poses that aren't quite so .... showy and don't require airbrushing. Which is good, cause there are some things I don't want to draw.
I do however, love to draw/paint nipples. Without them the chest would be so boring.
I remember seeing a version that was kids and was shocked until I saw that they were fully dressed. They also have a 4th version and one with two models together.
Many of the poses aren't the most interesting, but are good for practise when you haven't got naked people begging to be drawn hanging about.
Okay ladies....Kurt picking his nose or the aerodynamic looking No. 55?
Just remember Kurt.....you asked for it in your comment.
Hot Chocolate suggested when I'm at the coffee shops drawing the customers I should draw them nude so if they come over.... Well, I like that suggestion. I think I'll do that starting next week.
BTW peoples....no, I don't know what he looks like without clothes on before you ask. Really, with clothes on either for that matter;-)