Perpetual Chocoholic

Wet teenagers, humph!

2012-01-18T09:08:00.001-05:00

It rained last evening. I mean RAINED. Big honkin' raindrops. The water seeped into every crack. Yes, even that one. When it rains in January in Eastern Canada it's not really raining. It's making ice. The rain hit the car windows, doors and me then immediately froze. What was I doing standing out in the rain in January beside my car? Why, scraping of course.

It was fairly easy to remove the ice build up from the windows since it was relatively warm outside. Start up the vehicle and the heater helps to remove the crusty surface of ice that's a good couple of mm thick. I was still wet though. If you were to pass by at that moment you would have seen me staring longingly at my car port. Remembering happier times when if I had to go and pick up an ungrateful child at work I could just hop in my de-icified vehicle and drive away. Remembering a time when it was my vehicle sitting under the protection of our carport and not the dead vehicle of another. Two others actually. Two others in Florida. They don't have to scrap away ice in Florida.

I got into my car, sopping wet. Drove on ice covered roads that only idiots venture out on. I went to pick up One of Four from her volunteer job.

"What took you so long. I've been waiting out here for 20 minutes! I could have taken a bus in that time." she said to me in a snotty teenaged voice.

"Did you look outside? Do you know how long it takes to scrap off a car and drive here in the freezing rain?" I snap back.

"Humph!" she huffs as she turns away from me. She's still pissed off.

"YOU"RE WELCOME!!!" I yell.

This morning I heard about it again. The mommy bus didn't get to her fast enough last night. She was cold and wet because being a teenaged girl, you don't wear mitts, hat and a decent set of boots. That wouldn't look good.

Yesterday a lady was telling me how lovely One of Four was. I stood staring at her as she said this, wondering. She must have thought that perhaps I hadn't heard her because she repeated it. I wanted to ask if she meant physically or in general as a person because I don't get to see her lovely side. She's a teenager and reserves that loveliness for non family members. It's the teenage way. I get the "It took you 20 minutes to come and get me while I stood here in the rain you peeon." Then later, "did you save me some sausage dressing from the turkey like I asked." Never a thank you at any point passing her lips.

What's the point in this post? I'm going to Florida and I just might not come back.

One of Four Bobble Head

2012-01-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

This is the Christmas gift that One of Four received from her friends for Christmas. I wonder what it's like to have friends.

2012-01-06T16:25:00.000-05:00

So glad the drawing group is up and running again after the holidays. It's hard to find naked people to sit still anywhere else.

Happy New Year

2012-01-02T10:53:00.000-05:00

The girls were gifted "Turkish Delight" by a family member. They tried it for the first time and found the lemon flavoured candy to their liking. The rose flavoured ones tasted like old people proclaimed one of the four. Her sisters all agreed. I didn't ask them how they knew what old people tasted like. I'd rather not know.

Happy New Year. Is it almost Summer yet?

Santa Paws is coming!

2011-12-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

Only 4 more sleeps.

2011-12-20T18:32:00.002-05:00

Thanks Kurt!

2011-12-19T20:02:00.001-05:00

Pretty Things

2011-12-16T18:04:00.000-05:00

He knits....who knew!

Once again my belief is confirmed.....artists know how to throw a mean pot luck. There was a wide range of interesting fair. I brought my Kahlua Cheesecake. I stood back against the wall and watched the reaction to the dessert. I wasn't sure at first if people liked it or not and I wasn't even sure if it turned out this time. They would take a bite and seem to pause turn to the person next to them, whisper something then slowly take another bite. I'm not used to that in my house. If my family likes something they inhale it before they miss out on seconds. After watching this reaction repeated by a number of people, finally I got my answer. A petite French Canadian woman took a bite after receiving a whisper from the person next to her, and let out a long satisfied moan. The French aren't afraid to express themselves! WooHoo....it was good. By the time I got the spring-form pan back it looked like someone had licked it clean. Weird.

Chocolate Kahlua Cheesecake

Servings: 10 people or One Chocoholic;-)

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups of graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted

Combine first 4 ingredients; mix well. Press firmly into bottom or 9 inch spring-form pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 5 minutes; cool.

16 oz cream cheese (I sometimes use 3 packages instead of 2, and I use the light cream cheese myself.)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
2 eggs
1/4 cup coffee, brewed, strong
1/4 cup kahlua
1 tsp vanilla

Beat cream cheese with a mixer until fluffy. Add 3/4 cup sugar gradually mixing well. Add 1/2 cup cocoa. Add eggs, one at a time. Stir in the next 3 ingredients and pour mixture into the pan with the crust. Bake at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes. (Sometimes I leave it a bit longer as it doesn't seem quite done enough in my oven at this point.) Cool to room temperature then add chocolate shavings if desired. Chill 8 hours or overnight.

Post Apocalyptic Basement Flood

2011-11-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

We're getting there. After the flood we had in our basement when a pipe burst at the end of August the insurance company hired a restoration company to do the clean up and rebuild. The clean up went well, but the rebuilt didn't until we kicked them out. Now it's coming along nicely.

We're rethinking the curtians in the bedroom but they may still grow on us. The dog was an added expense, but it's still the best an most efficient way to get a dog hair bed spread out there. The walls are missing that finishing touch....kid hand prints.....but that will come soon enough.

Mom and Dad, when you fly into town you'll stay in Hunter's new room. The three of you should be very comfie there together.

If only someone would give me money to do this.....

2011-11-25T15:34:00.000-05:00

Today, the drawing didn't come easy. It was a fight all the way to make the models look like...well, people. At one point this afternoon one of my drawings looked more like a gargoyle than a model, but it was wonderful non the less. Three beautiful people to draw. The morning was a new Asian model and this afternoon there were two men posing together. One was a perennial favorite of the group that moved out of town but called to say he was back today and would love to work. Yeah! So the group co-ordinator added him in. He also came with his dog who also makes a good model. She loves to pose with him.

I was speaking to one of the other artists who was telling me that his wife was going to come to try to draw for the day but backed out at the last minute.

"Boy will she be sorry!" he said.

He was mentioning that his kids find it hard knowing that they are the only ones out of all their friends that have penis' hanging in their dinning room. I had to laugh.

"I would never hang my work in my dinning room" I told him. "I don't have a dinning room;-)

Sometimes it's just good to get together with like minded people who are as demented as yourself and help you feel like maybe you aren't so different after all.

La Merde

2011-11-22T12:30:00.005-05:00

My 9 year old called the family in to ever so proudly show the food chain she had been working on all evening for school. Mr. P. reminded her earlier that feces was part of the chain so she quickly added it in. Being in French immersion, she was required to complete this task in French as she is learning Science using only French. She used the internet as a translator for the words she didn't know.

Beside a cute little picture of a pile of poo were the following words:

le merde

Her bilingual sisters burst into hysterics and she turned red.

"But I used Google translator" she said vehemently.

Indeed it does translate poop that way. But were she to complete her project in English and write 'shit' we'd probably find it unacceptable.

I used Google to translate the following:

I need to go poo = J'ai besoin d'aller caca (Google then asks "Did you mean poop?")

I need to go poop = J'ai besoin d'aller merde

I need to defecate = J'ai besoin de déféquer (but who the heck says that!)

Another dictionary I checked shows the various ways in which merde is used. From the innocent to the most vulgar (heavy on the most vulgar side.)

So what did I learn?

I asked my 14 year old what she says when she has to go .... merde ..... at school. She says they just don't say that.

Thinking about this further I realized that generally I don't tell too many people that I have to go .....well, you know. I just quietly excuse myself for a washroom break. Those that do like to share this kind of information with others (and you know who you are, and no, it's not Mr. P.) the level of vulgarity used is split about 50/50.

BTW....if you want to say the "shit hit the fan" it's "la merde a frappé le ventilateur"

And finally....why is shit féminine?

I haven't blogged in almost a month and when I finally do it's shit;-)

2011-10-31T10:54:00.000-04:00

I found this in my kitchen this morning looking for brains. It didn't find any. Don't worry....I beat it to re-death with a soggy dish towel.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2011-10-28T19:13:00.000-04:00

Just when I was about to give up art (yes, again) curiosity got the better of me when the organizer of the bottom line promised an interesting model for this morning. I decided "what the heck" and went.

I accidentally tore a pastel picture I had put a lot of hours into, but wasn't liking, and my latest coloured pencil drawing is a disaster in the making. Not a good art week. But on the up side, we've had no death threats yet this week!

This stunning creature in my drawings is my new favourite model. She's an extremely physically fit female (you probably noticed) that was graceful, and extremely professional. She didn't move even the slightest amounts during her poses and had the loveliest chocolate coloured skin I've ever seen.

On the down side, when I went to pick up my work from the show that just finished, I noticed that it was damaged. Both works had some damage on the frame and one with a scratch on the glass. Disappointing considering the cost of the framing jobs. The owner said she'd deal with the worst one (the other was not bad enough that I left it.) We'll see. I may have yet another fight on my hands. I suspect once they removed the works from the walls after the Figureworks show to put up the new show they stored it incorrectly. Sigh!

2011-10-19T11:33:00.001-04:00

I now have a 16 year old with soon to be purple hair that can drive, albeit not very well.

"But Mom.....I only hit one tree and it wasn't the actual trunk I hit." she said earlier this summer when practicing on our country property.

Thank goodness they don't allow them to get tatoos in the local parlours at that age, that's all I can say.

**************

Yesterday when my 14 year old was asked to open the window at school by her teacher she struggled until the teacher had to come over and show her how to work the mechanism.

"It's a good thing you're pretty." she told her;-)

***************

My 16 year old raised her hand in class yesterday and asked if the whole test they would be having today was going to be Multiplication. This was in Law class;-0 She later told me they all laughed and she wasn't sure why until she realised she meant to say multiple choice.
****************

I learned at the last parents council meeting at our elementary school that cursive writing is no longer part of the curriculum and that they also don't plan on adding keyboarding lessons stating that the kids pick up their own method of keyboarding on their own. We've started working with the little ones at home to assure that they can read and write cursive. The schools feel that cursive writing is no longer necessary and is on it's way out. We were also told that in the next few years kids would have "notebooks" in school and not need to write at all. What are they supposed to do until then? one parent asked. The Principal didn't have an answer.

God help us all.

Quiet Please

2011-10-18T13:45:00.000-04:00

It's been a rollercoaster month. Along with death threats and art shows came a flood which took out 3 rooms in our already small home and a case of head lice in one of the kids(only one bug and no nits. Thank God!) On the upside, the principal agreed to allow me to volunteer with White Mocha to go through the whole school with a fine tooth comb. Literally. This is something that has been bugging me for years and the school will finally allow us to at least perhaps reduce the problem a bit. I very much doubt it will have a large impact, but at least maybe identify a few of the problem areas in some whos parents are willing to do something about it.

I will be picking up my art next week. I did very well in the show. I scored very high with two of the judges and good, but not excellent with a third. She didn't like my use of hyper-realism mixed with an abstract background. I'd like to say I've learned from it, but one of the pictures in the line-up for the next month is going to be done this way as well. So far they didn't sell and I don't expect they will at this particular gallery. Not the right demographic for the youth of the subject matter. Also the high price of the piece will dissuade anyone interested. The gallery gets 50% and out of my 50% comes the cost of framing and supplies so the price has to be hiked up to make it worth selling the work through a gallery. In the case of "Handphibian" I will be making $3.75 an hour if it sells, even with the spiked price. Hardly worth the effort. If anyone is interested they are better off waiting to buy direct from the artists. Not fair to the gallery and they have to make a living, but really, if you spend much time on a piece you're better off not trying to sell this way unless you are only trying to recoup the cost of the supplies.

Please God.....can we have some peace for now? And I don't mean RIP kind of peace, just calm for a while.

Finally!

2011-10-17T11:22:00.001-04:00

Looks like perserverance may have paid off. The dad of one of the two kids who heard the knife threat against the 3 kids (included in the three is 4 of 4) is being taken seriously by the community police officer assigned to the school. He had been away and the one replacing him didn't really look into the complaint too thouroughly, instead just taking the word of the principal that the complaint didn't really happen.

The officer (according to the dad) has agreed that the teacher had no legal right to dismiss the knife complaint on her own. This should have been up to the police to look into. Apparently, this father says, the police officer said that this paticular school board's rules sometimes don't mesh with the law. The police officer stated the law is the law and they need to see that their school proceedures don't trump the law.

Now the officer can take an unbiased look at the complaint and get some help for the kid slinging threats need be. She is relatively new to the school and nobody bothered to look into her history at past school(s) to see if there were any behavioural problems prior to this incident, and whether or not something is happening at home to trigger this type of aggression.

The officer was said to be suprised to learn of the lack of follow up with regards to the consequences the child was to receive due to her actions. (The ones the principal did agree occured. The threat about the kids getting what was coming to them the next day, etc....) Despite the threat she wasn't actually really kept on suspension as promised for two days following the incident and did go out for recess with the kids. Once she was discovered, she was taken back into the school, but obviously they couldn't have been watching her that well! She was supposed to be under the supervision of a teacher at all times for a full week and that didn't happen either. We witnessed that ourselves.

All I want at this point is to know this kid is getting help if need be. To make sure she realizes the weight of the threats she made to the best of the schools ability. To make sure her parents/guardians are aware of the knife threat. And finally that the Principal realizes that she is not God himself or above the law. That's the biggie. I have no faith in the ability of this woman to assure the safety of my child in this school any longer. This isn't the first incident in which we gone to the school with safety concerns and they've just been dismissed outright. Sometimes without even the courtesty of a call back from her.

....so why do I still feel like crying.... I suppose I don't look forward the the next time.....and I'm quite sure at some point there will be a next time.

Just ignore the problem and it will go away~that's the Canadian way

2011-10-11T12:33:00.005-04:00

I got a call from the Principal last week after our 9 year old came home and told me about the death threat she and friends received stating that the issue had been dealt with. The child in question would be monitored for a week. The first two days she was not to be allowed to have recess in the school yard with the other children and would not be left unsupervised at any time. Funny, I saw her walking down the hall alone with one other kid when I was volunteering at lunch on Friday. Parents won't know any different so they apparently don't have to actually follow up with the consequences. Since the identity of the child is protected we aren't supposed to know who it is even when our kids tell us. I suppose we're supposed to pretend to not know. In fact, in the past the kids have been told they aren't allowed to tell their parents when threats do occur in order to protect the identity of the accused. That was the law. Now they can tell us they've have had threats against them, but the school can't acknowledge where or from whom they came. Only that they've been dealt with the the satisfaction of the school.

The Principal also assured me that the two children who claimed that there was a threat concerning a knife had since withdrawn their statements and said they didn't really know if she had said that after all. That part of the incident was considered to not be true and accurate and therefore in no need of further action. It was no longer considered as having had happened. Only the use of cursing and "You'll pay for what you did tomorrow" would be taken seriously. After all, cursing in a Catholic school is worse than a death threat that may or may not have occurred.

Furthermore, Mr. P. should speak with the counsellor about school procedure for his belief that said child should be searched each day before she is allowed to join the other kids at least for a couple of days. The Principal told me that "This isn't New York City!" and "Thank God it's not!" I told her I agreed with Mr. P. The childs knapsack should be checked. It's not like we're asking for a cavity search or anything! Stick you're head in the sand give everyone a lollypop and hope the problem goes away. It's the Canadian way.

The Principal questioned the two kids who heard the knife threat a second time. She repeatedly kept asking them if they were sure they actually heard correctly. Eventually she convinced them that they may not have actually heard what they thought they did. When at all possible manipulate children into you're way of thinking, it's the Canadian Educational Systems way. Canadians aren't violent after all and do you seriously think that someone would threaten to bring a knife. Let me repeat, this is Canada. Also, if you can make a problem disappear it means less paper work!

On top of all of this, the Principal said that the kid slinging threats said "4 of 4" wasn't nice to her. The Principal needed to further look into this. (Now it's my kids fault!) I told the Principal I have no doubt the kid thinks this as I've told 4 in the past to go in the opposite direction when she sees her coming to avoid being bullied. 4 of 4 doesn't like this kid. I always tell my kids to be polite but that they never have to take crap off a bully. You don't have to be friends with everyone. When at all possible turn the tables around to blame the children who are the victims. It's definitely the Canadian way!

Tonight is the Parents Council Meeting. I hope the Principal brings her Tylenol. She's gonna need it.

I think I'm too old for all of this.

911

2011-10-05T11:04:00.002-04:00

I got a call from the police early yesterday afternoon. There were 911 calls coming from 2 of 4's phone and the operator could hear arguing and screaming on the other end of the line. The police wanted to know where my daughter was at that moment as they needed to get to her quickly.

I'm not a trusting person. I refused to give out her location. How did I know this was actually the police? I checked it out and found it to be a legitimate call.

I called the school to make sure she was in class and alright. Well, I tried to call the school, but my fingers wouldn't work properly and it took a few tries. Once I got through the secretary said she'd check. Normally at this point the secretary would come back on the line to deal with what ever we were talking about. Instead it was the Vice Principal. He started questioning me about who I was and what I wanted. If I could I would have jumped through the phone and shaken him! I'm glad they protect student privacy and he did the corrrect thing but I was in an acute state of distress.

Turns out she was at school. When she got to the office he asked to see her phone and they checked it. The cell was definintely off and no outgoing calls had been logged to 911. (Maybe they don't register?)
I made sure that she and my other daughter hadn't mixed up their identical phones and that she too was in class.

When "Two" got home I asked if her phone indeed had accidentally made a butt call without her knowledge, what were they doing around the time of the calls that had sounded like a homicide in progress?

Singing a song from a musical in class.

I told her they must have been singing badly.

*********************

Also yesterday, 4 of 4 came home to report that a fellow student had made death threats to her and her friends on the bus while also swearing up a blue streak. These are 9 year olds. Upon exiting the bus they were warned they would get what was coming to them tomorrow. The disturbed child is under observation for the next week with a teacher not leaving her side just in case.

*********************

A couple of weeks ago a lone man tried to get 3 of 4 into his car, promising a ride home from her bus stop. I now meet the bus every afternoon. It's a shame that a 12 year old can't walk a block without a problem. I'd like to think it's just a kindly neighbour making a friendly offer, but now a days a lone middle aged male in a car alone should know better. It was a beautiful, sunny day and she was close to home, no need to offer. She didn't recognize the man as being from the area.

I think I need a Valium.

2011-09-27T19:44:00.000-04:00

Only two more sleeps until the show at Orange gallery. It actually starts tomorrow but the vernissage isn't 'till Thursday. So, if you're in the neighbourhood...... If I pretend not to know you though, just go with that okay;-)

I told my parents if they go they can't embarrass me. I told Mr. P. to keep his comments about the most excellent title he chose to himself. I'm not bringing the kids so they won't have to complain the whole time about looking at the nudes.

Now if I can manage to not embarrass myself......hmmm, no.....that's not possible. Some how, some way I'll make a fool of myself and be ostricized by the local art community. I'm just going to have to keep repeating to myself....keep your mouth shut, keep your mouth shut. Actually, that in itself might draw some attention.

2011-09-14T13:46:00.000-04:00

WooHoo!

"Handphibian" and "Turns Out He Wasn't Her Prince After All" (Formerly Other Kurt's Exist) were accepted at the 2nd Figureworks Award Show at Orange Gallery which will occur later this month.

The end of this month now seems so far away!

I feel like I should buy some new shoes.

2011-08-25T22:37:00.001-04:00

Handphibian

One more week 'till school starts.

2011-08-24T11:19:00.002-04:00

My Green Bean~Praying Mantis

2011-08-22T17:49:00.007-04:00

I was weeding the flower garden when I saw a green bean lying on the soil. I was disgusted that the squirrels were relocating my vegetables yet again 'till the green bean moved! I wouldn't want to eat this green bean, would you?

P.S. Yes, I do wear reading glasses. Why'd you ask?

2011-08-13T21:13:00.004-04:00

Ewwww. We found this a couple of weekends ago while visiting the country. Another good reason to stay in the city for sure!

I googled it and found out that it's a male Dobsonfly. They are about 5 inches long, which is just what this rather larger fellow appeared to be. The males have pincers too long to bite but the females are a different story! Don't make one of those babies mad! I poked at and irritated this one enough that it did a bit of posturing and threatening as people looked on and gave me odd looks (big chickens!)

Luckily it didn't get so threatened that it used it's last line of defense. A foul smelling anal spray. That would have been fun.

2011-08-05T20:43:00.000-04:00

Well, our house guest has gone. I keep thinking Hunter will show some signs of missing Jasper but so far it doesn't appear so. But then the only time he really shows any emotion is at the mention of food or the "W" word.

We managed to find some more frogs for future drawings.

In the country and plugged in

2011-07-31T14:43:00.001-04:00

So, we were at a country heritage celebration when the kids went down to see the horses. Here's 1 of 4 showing the horse how to use her ipod. I found 2 of 4 hiding behind the barn with a bunch of other teens, many of whom were locals. Guess what they were doing? Texting each other. I suspect some day it will get to the point when parents will be able to just unplug their kids at bed time since I'm sure the next step is to physically implant the devices for ease of use.

Here's 2 of 4 performing. She managed to put down her phone long enough to get up on stage. I suppose she didn't mind though as she's on an instrument that's plugged in.

2011-07-28T13:08:00.000-04:00

Dear Family;

I'm still doing well and the Chocoholics are enjoying my company. I'm fitting in to their routine nicely but still trying to figure out some of the more bizzare rules they exercise in this household. For example, the other evening when I was out in the park for my pre-supper play I found the most fabulous mound of dog poop left by a considerate human dog slave. Normally the humans are quick to clean up such glorious masses, saving them all for themselves and leaving none for us. Greedy buggers. But on this occassion I found a lovely little pile all for myself.

Now Mr. Hunter warned me that the many times he has previously enjoyed a good role in the poop that Perp for some odd reason was not at all pleased with his actions. Probably jealous. She had been known to punish him with a good shampoo and rinse with the hose for not sharing with her. [shiver] Barbarian!

Anyhow, I had a bath in the tub. Being small enough to fit in there is a bonus since I fear the hose would have been even more undignified. I absolutely hated it and showed my disgust by sulking for the rest of the evening. Can you imagine such a thing! What happend to licking away the dirt after all?

I hear that the CU's miss me. Of course they do. I'm Jasper after all. How could they resist with someone so cute. Mr. Hunter isn't so lucky since he's not cute and he gets scolded way more vehemently when getting into trouble than I do. That's why he looked so smug when I got a good tongue lashing after the poop incident. She was scolding and he was doing a happy dance with a big tail wagging the whole time. How can he be so callous as to enjoy my misery so much? I think he's just jealous 'cause he's not me.

Looking forward to seeing you soon,

Licks and More Licks,

Jasper

P.S.....Is it true that peeing on the carpet is also bad? Cause Perp says it is and I think she may be making that one up.

2011-07-23T20:44:00.007-04:00

I'm reading Giorgio Vasari's "The Lives of the Artists". In reading this it got me to thinking about what kind of person Vasari was. Living during the 1500's he wrote about the artists of the time such as Donatello, Rapheal, Leonardo da Vinci, and his friend Michelangelo. What if he was just one of those people who is "full of it." You know the type. They make stuff up to make it appear as if they really are hot poop.

Now I know historians would have torn his works apart (and have) and have made corrections where warrented, but how do we know if the more intimate stories he tells are true.

Then I got to wondering after reading about Donatello and Michelangelo and Rapheal how they would feel about being imortalized the way they are today. You know....as Teenaged Muntant Ninja Turtles. Cause if I mention their names that's what alot of the younger generation thinks about;-) I haven't read Leonardo's biography yet, but seeing as he was quite the inventor he might get a kick out of the whole movie/television thing but who knows.

How these people live just seems so far from what I think of as an artist today. They are so singular in their purpose that they remind me more of, well....... nerds. Computer nerds to be exact. If they lived today I wonder if they would still make art/architecture their career choice. I guess God plants us where we'd grow best.

Out of all of these I think I'd like to meet Michelangelo (although I'd love to watch Leonardo paint the Mona Lisa!) the best.

After reading Vasari's work I now realize that in the Universe there is God, then his most perfect human creation Michelangelo and then the rest of the world. He filled many pages with his praises about how perfect Michelangelo was in every way. Describing him physically and mentally. Geez Vasari...get a room or something. He sounds a bit like renaissance version of a stalker. One example is he sent over 40lbs of candles at 2 in the morning to Michelangelo as a gift. Who does that? Seriously? 2am? Michelangelo didn't accept gifts from people as he didn't want to ever be indebted to anyone and tried to return them but Vasari's servant said,

"Mike dude, (now I'm paraphrasing here) it's 40lbs of candles, and my arms are tired after walking all the way over here at 2am in the friggin' morning. If you don't take 'em I'm gonna stick 'em in the dirt and light 'em all on your front lawn."

Michelangelo told him he wasn't up for that kind of practical joke at 2 in the morning and accepted them.

Now to be fair to Vasari, Michelangelo rarely slept so the guy was probably already up if we are to believe Vasari. But who really knows.

Any how, this whole thing got me thinking about how it would be to meet some of these people. Would they be as fabulous as history would have us believe? Humble and frugal and rich and smart and perfect in every way? And how will today's artists be seen in the future? Will there even be some who will hold a place in history as these "greats" do? I'm thinking no. Probably not. I believe the birth of some of the technological advances we've made will foreshadow everything else from our time 500 years from now. But again, who knows. I guess time will tell.

2011-07-22T11:49:00.001-04:00

So this morning the coffee shop was crowded. I had to sit at a table a little more in the open than I like. When I sit in a corner or on the patio where I can usually shield what I'm doing to dissuade any complaints about my activities. I didn't mind so much today as I was drawing from a picture and not trying to sneak peeks at the patrons. When I sat down, one of the ladies at the table beside me looked uncomfortable at my arrival. I didn't recognize her or remember seeing her before but I could see her sneaking glances my way and shifting around in her chair. Later they started up a conversation with me about my scribbling. The uncomfortable one mentioned that she had seen me on previous visits drawing. Usually not from a photo though, but using my own hand or something in the coffee shop. She seemed relieved when she saw the picture was the above one and not her face. What's that? Why do I spend so much time in coffee shops making people uncomfortable?

1) I like to.
2) 1, 2, 3, 4 and all of their friends.
3) I don't have to do the dishes when I'm finished.

The other day I walked into the house to find 7 extra kids in my house. 11 in all. There were kids in pretty much every room of my house. Not conducive to productivity in the area of art. I like that we have a safe place that kids can come hang out, but I can't work at home. Also, I have not a scrap of food (other than vegetables) in my home at the end of the day once they've been into the food stuff and I don't want vegetables for breakfast.

p.s. btw, if I buy more food they eat more food so it's not for a lack of trying to keep the cupboards and fridge stocked.

2011-07-21T12:10:00.001-04:00

Dear Adventurer;

Here I am back in bed after my morning constitutional. I get up when Mr. P does in the morning, turn my nose up at the dog food placed before me and then go out for a run in the park.

I'm feeling better today. Yesterday I was not myself and moped around the house flapping my ears and hiding in corners. Perp. thought maybe I was homesick since I ran out to the van and tried to get in every time I escaped when someone opened the front door. Today I'm back to my perky self and am letting everyone know that all attention should be directed at me and not the "other one." I often have to jump in the way or bark or move their hand when someone tries to pet him instead of me to remind them I'm cuter than some old black lab.

Well, hope you're having fun. I'm off to go and jump up on the kitchen table so I can see out the window and watch for intruders who come up to the front door. Perp has told me this is bad but how else does she expect me to guard the house?

Flaps and nips,

Jasper

2011-07-19T21:34:00.000-04:00

Dear Adventurer and Family;

Hope you arrived at Grandma C's safely sans me. I'm doing well and have spend the last few days training the help. I now have them believing that I can be trusted off the leash at least in the back field. The front may still take some convincing as I like to play "chase me" when I get out into the front and they don't see the humour in this game. I'm sleeping with 1 of 4 this week and like to sleep on her face. Well, actually I sleep on her face until she pushes me over to the pillow which is good too.

We are having some issues with the food service though. Perp was growing concerned after I refused to eat more than a few kibbles (she wouldn't pre-chew my food for me.) I did try some of that other dogs food and found it to my liking and have learned that if I make a cute face and sit real pretty I get a few table scraps as well...ooops, I don't think I was supposed to tell you that part.

I have been a good boy and come when I'm called in the house with the pig call, but have a giggle when I hear them trying to call me that way outdoors. They've gotten some pretty odd looks from neighbours and fellow dog walkers when seen standing in the middle of the field calling "soo-ee, here pig, pig, pig and I pretend I don't know what they're talking about. That was a good joke. Glad you thought of it.

I miss you and hope you're having a good time even though I can't be there.

Licks and Yaps

Jasper

Stormy Weather

2011-07-18T14:28:00.002-04:00

Not funny bad girl! Just you wait until you're....ummm.....42.

Don't I look good for someone in their 60's? It's just too bad I'm in my early to middle late 40's.

A quick pastel sketch from my "coffee shop" sketch book.

And another.

So I have managed to cycle a few times a week lately and do so uneventfully. I go over to Quebec for coffee and back which is about 40km. Yesterday I decided to take 4 of 4 and 1 of 4 for a ride. I fall down go boom. I have the bandages and bruises to prove it. I've decided that spending quality time with ones children is hazardous to ones health. Better to bike alone.

Last evening we had a fast moving thunder storm blow through the city. Cheap Trick was playing Bluesfest and the main stage blew back and then collapsed. Luckily no body was killed or seriously hurt, including the band. There were only a few seconds warning before the wind came in and took everything down. During the exact moment of the collapse, had you been looking for me, you would have found me in my back yard holding onto my gazebo for dear life. I was not losing my gazebo! When Mr. P. later called my parents to see if they got the storm some hour South of here, I heard him break out in laughter and state,

"Boy, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!"

During the storm they too were outside holding down their gazebo. They had lost their previous one in a wind storm last year.

Crows and Teens

2011-07-04T10:48:00.000-04:00

I was watching a family of crows on my fence with my 13 year old, Two of Four. The parents were feeding their very loud squawking offspring.

"I wonder why their still feeding their babies." I said to Two of Four. "They're the same size as the parents. You'd think they could take care of themselves by now."

"Huh," she replies in a sarcastic voice, "you still feed One of Four and she's 15 and taller than you."

"Point taken."

Canada Day On The Hill

2011-07-01T19:42:00.002-04:00

click to biggify the stinky sweaty people

Okay, it's not exactly Canada Day on the Hill so much as Canada Day down the street from the Hill. With Will and Kate visiting the country this Canada Day the number of partiers at Parliament Hill were up this year. We had trouble getting a bus to take us there and if it weren't for the kids probably wouldn't have tried. I imagine it will be even worse tonight for the fireworks and good luck getting home.

Last year when the Queen was here it was busier then usual. This year it's just downright insane. It took about a half hour to walk half a block, rubbing up against some of the most ....umm....damp and odorous individuals you could come across because of the high temperatures and sunny weather. The above pictures are of the more opened areas we could find when I could get my arms up to take a picture. Did I mention I have claustrophobia!

Would I have spent it any differently? Probably not. Happy Canada Day!

Dear Serena;

2011-06-28T16:14:00.000-04:00

Your blog won't allow me to post comments for some odd reason the last....well since whenever I last posted a comment.

Hope you heal quickly and the news is good.

Perp

Carravaggio Never Painted Frogs

2011-06-27T19:27:00.000-04:00

Good Frog

Ugly Frog

The next lightening quick step this little fellow took plunged him off her hand, splat onto the ground. He was okay. Whoever said turtles were slow never actually picked one up I bet.

Tolerant frog

I was starting to think I'd never get any bullfrog pictures this year for my next batch of paintings but yeah! I have a few good ones. Now though I've realized I think I'm tired of working on frogs. Plus, Carravaggio never painted frogs.

Carravaggio

2011-06-23T19:53:00.000-04:00

Why do women plant flowers and put out ornamentation to beautify their gardens? Really, if you're doing it to impress your male significant other or you want to attract a man wouldn't it make more sense to put out a reclining lawn chair and a cooler full of cold beer? OR if you want to attract a more sophisticated gentleman a nice....I don't know what, I don't drink. I'm not talking about the ones who garden for their own pleasure but the ones who do it to impress others. And why do women love lace curtains so much. One of my brothers-in-law had a woman he dated a couple of times enter his house without knocking, proceed to the kitchen and hang lace curtains. He walked her to the door. Just wondering.

Our class went as a group on Wed. from the art school to see the Caravaggio exhibit at the National Gallery. Wow! I like it and him. He did things the way he wanted regardless. Okay, he was violent and did have a temper (to put it lightly) but he did only murder one man and there may have been a pardon in the works when he died at 39. When he needed a model he was known to work the poor around him or drag a dead prostitute out of the river to pose her, but who of us hasn't done that at one time.

I think my new goal is to learn to paint like Carravaggio. I learned he would have used sable brushes which leave little brush strokes visible. Some areas of his work are finely detailed, such as lace, fabric, fingers, whereas the eyes on some of his figures in shadow are just a blob of dark. I've got down the blobs in oil painting. I've got the fine detail in the coloured pencil work. Now I just need to find a way to marry the two.

I would totally put a Carravaggio on my wall. Unfortunately they wouldn't fit. Not the ones I liked the best anyways.

2011-06-17T22:50:00.000-04:00

"The Boxer" completed. Unfortunately I had to miss one of the three half day sessions with the model. I would have worked it more if I could have. Anyhow, time to move on.

This was today's model from this afternoon. This was the fellow that I used to think looked like Kurt but he seems to have grown out of it. Maybe if Kurt had long hair a beard, moustache and was looking like a lush in a chair naked and had a upper class British accent they would look more alike.

I drew this with my right hand.

I drew this with my left hand.

I drew this with no hands.....wait, that's not right.

I can draw hands, unfortunately just not when they are attached to a body. Huh.

2011-06-03T15:10:00.001-04:00

Click to Bigify

These girls are no wimps. The 6 of them spent a good part of the day chasing turtles, tadpoles, frogs, birds and a snake that was about 1.5 meters long. They were determined to see that snake up close and personal but it managed to swim away eventually. I don't mind most critters but something about those tadpoles grosses even me out. I'd take the snake over them any day......well, on second thought, maybe not.

The Boxer

2011-06-02T12:51:00.000-04:00

This is the new painting we've started that has another 6 hours of model time to complete. We get 9 hours a painting and believe me, it's never enough. I've only ever finished one painting.

This model is so dedicated that he actually went out and got a horrificly painful looking black eye just for the pose. He then agreed to let one of the artists punch him again next week to freshen up the eye if it's healed too much.

Okay, truthfully, he did have a black eye but it was from a biking accident and it was worked it into the pose. I have to admit....it's so much fun to actually paint clothes onto someone for a change I may actually start painting people at home on my own time in oil.

2011-06-01T11:44:00.000-04:00

Still in the works.

Sugar is aptly named. She likes her cheerios!

The dairy section.

That's my kid there....see her? The one in the red.

Blogger Won't Load My Pics Again....Do They Hate My Art:-)

2011-05-31T19:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, it's rained for all but about 3 days in the last 2 months. The Cullen's could have comfortably lived here and kept their secret safe. Today the sun actually came out and it was up over 100 F with the humidity. I went cycling. I don't sweat. Seriously. I turn beet red and my face is extremely hot to the touch. I suspect I will eventually explode on the bike path, but at least I will die happy doing what I love.

Blogger won't accept my photos again. I was going to post the last oil painting I did. The model told me it was her favourite out of all the paintings from our group. I bet she says that to all the artists;-) It was crap. She explained I gave her the nicest looking body and she was happy with that. Mr. P. did say though that he liked her.......dairy section in the painting.

Still won't let me post pictures.

Lately I've been thinking again about the picture I owe Kurt. I hate unfinished business. I've not done much coloured pencil work lately, putting aside the finely detailed types of work to work free hand, both right and left-handed with broad scribbly stokes. It helps with the expressive figure oil paintings. The coloured pencil work actually seems to have a negative effect on my ability to work expressively in oil. The opposite is not true though. I can easily go from expressive to hyper-realism with no problem at all. Back to Kurt (I know that's probably what he's thinking if he's reading this.) My last 3 week session in oil comes up starting this week then the semester is over and I can return to my coloured pencil stuff. Hopefully finishing up some of the coloured pencil stuff I've got on the go.

Kurt's latest OPE zine is out and you can order a copy through his website. When I was little and my Granny baby sat us, my Granny used to say, "some day I'll be dead and then you'll be sorry......"Well some day Kurt may be famous then YOU"LL be sorry you didn't get one. Someday he might even be dead then you'll really kick yourself.

You still here? Mr. P. won't read this far down the posts. I've now been here for over 6 years. I never do anything for over 6 years. Well, other than breathing and eating chocolate.

Blogger still won't post my pictures.

Hunter had his check up today and is in fine shape. The vet listened to his heart and commented "WOW! You are really laid back. If he was anymore laid back he'd be comatose. He does get excited though when I tell him we're going for a coffee. He always gets a treat but gets a little put out that they won't let him go begging inside the shop. He's such a primadonna.

That's all for now.

Finally! Pictures!

2011-05-24T15:02:00.000-04:00

click to bigify

FINALLY!

And to the person who said that I have too much time on my hands if I have time to go and check out bullfrogs (never mind that I'm using them for artistic purposes and it's my job) ....pththphhhh..... I have a special hand gesture to show you.

Coffee Shop Drawings

2011-05-24T13:15:00.001-04:00

Yup....still won't let me load pictures. Sigh.

What you would have seen is my hand at a coffee shop clutching a napkin. I posted it with no problem on my facebook page. I hate facebook but at least it accepts my pics.

I was sitting in an armchair facing the window all by my lonesome. Since I draw mainly hands in coloured pencil, I like to draw my hand (or somebody's hand) a couple of times a week so I don't lose the ability to do so. After all what an expressive appendage our hand is. You can speak, work and swear with it. (ohhhhh! Make mental note of idea for future painting!)

I put my earphones in to dissuade any conversation on days I don't want to be disturbed and put a scowl on my face before getting lost in the lines of my hand. Today, despite the earphones and cranky face, a fellow came up and asked for permission to sit in one of the other armchairs like I owned it. I shrugged.

He read the paper for only a couple of minutes before putting it down to just sit. Sitting and watching. Watching me. Staring actually.

I slunk down further in my chair. Don't look at me. I don't like being looked at. Stop looking at me! Too bad he wasn't a mind reader.

After getting about half way through the drawing I realized that my model had moved! The nerve! When I started prior to the watcher, my hand was relaxed gently holding a napkin. Now I realized things weren't lining up because my hand was turning white and blue and purple from tightly clutching the napkin. I had to keep reminding myself to relax and realign my fingers.

Eventually I was finished. Without even a glance up I quickly packed up and downed my coffee. He then started to get up himself after sitting and watching me for probably 45 min. I sat back and fiddled with my phone waiting for him to leave. Weird.

The regulars in this coffee shop are lovely people who will at times, sit together and chat. When someone needs time alone usually people are adept enough at reading body language to know how open to company someone is. I have even made a friend here who is a fellow artist. Every once in a while (at least once a week) though someone comes in who doesn't know the coffee shop rules so I've decided to post them.

1) Don't stare at me when I'm drawing Yes I realize it's a free country, but do you sit beside the customers with a laptop and read all of their emails too commenting on their writing ability?
2) If I'm wearing earphones and you try to talk to me I will pretend not to hear you so don't talk to me unless it's to tell me the building is on fire and it actually really is on fire.
3) No you can't look through my sketchbook because I've probably drawn you at some point and you won't be flattered because I draw what I see, not what you want to believe you look like.
4) Don't ask me what I do for a living because I'll probably lie to you anyways and it's none of your business why I'm sitting in a coffee shop in the mid-morning trying to ignore you.
5) Yes you're right, I'm not knitting today how observant of you to notice. By the way it's crocheting.

Okay, normally I'm not as snotty as all that but curiosity is one thing. Rudeness in another.

2011-05-23T21:15:00.002-04:00

Blogger won't load my pictures again today. Drag.

The Bestest Last Day Ever!

2011-05-21T15:01:00.003-04:00

Well here we are at the end. The very last day. It's been the best one ever!

First I slept in late. Then I got up and had chocolate for breakfast. Yes, that's right. Chocolate straight up. And not that bitter dark stuff either. (Kurt made me do it.)

Then I went for a bike ride. It's sunny and hot today....finally. I started off down at the pond where I get my bull frog photos for my paintings. It looks like it would have been a bumper crop this year! Hundreds of large plump tadpoles were poking their noses out of the water.

The pond was surrounded by Canada geese parents standing like sentries aprox. every 10 feet or so guarding a gaggle of goslings. I marched right up into the center of one of the groups at the ponds edge to look for frogs. (In biking shoes all you can really do is march when walking through a swampy area.) At first the parents weren't pleased but after they realized their hisses fell on deaf ears they pretty much ignored me.

While I was standing by the ponds edge a pair of deer came out to the water. The geese weren't pleased with yet another addition to the already over crowded shore and so ran after the deer chasing them into the bush. Later on I was able to walk up to the bushy area and photograph the deer getting within about 5 feet of one of them. It went on eating not at all concerned with my presence. I'm sure I could have pet it if I felt so inclined and didn't mind risking deer tics. I wasn't.

Next I cycled over to Quebec.

Suivant Je suis allé déjeuner au Mocha Loca. J'ai mangé un pannini au poulet et un cafe. J'ai passé ma commande et répond aux questions en Francais. (Well, actually mostly French with a wee bit of Franglais mixed in.) I then went and sat on their large front poarch under an ancient maple tree. A cool breeze was gently blowing and I watched as my lunch walked all around the lot until the waitress finally found me. I sat and crocheted. I brought a sketch book but why ruin your perfect last day with work. Nobody bothered me. Nobody spoke to me. Nobody asked me what I was making. It was heaven!

Of course if it were truly a perfect day Blogger would allow me to post pictures of all thses things but it won't so it's not. Do you suppose it's not really the last day ever either?!

2011-05-19T15:35:00.002-04:00

According to some, the world is supposed to end this weekend. Why did I not hear about this sooner? I have nothing to wear!

Nude Frog

2011-05-17T10:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm not all about nekkid life drawing. Sometimes I work on other nakkid things such as frogs. And yes, I know, again.....it's not Kurt.

Funny how what you see in your head turns out differently then what you put down on paper. This is the case with this one. Still enough to go on it though that it may become more of a window into my brain, but time will tell. I suppose if it were a true look into my mind the frog would be eating chocolate and everything else would be covered in cobwebs. Huh.

Friday's Life Drawing Group

2011-05-13T15:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, yes.....she was that skinny. In fact she was the model for "adjusting my turbin" not so long ago and has lost loads of weights since then it seems.

Yes, yes, I know....moobs. But he has an excuse. At his age he's allowed.

Chocolate Fasting

2011-05-06T14:30:00.000-04:00

I've been without chocolate for over a week now. Actually....8 days, 6 hrs, 11 min, 32 seconds to be exact.

Why do I do this to myself. To my family and friends?

I suppose I just want to get to a place where I'm not totally dependent on it to get through a day.

I heard one of my coffee buddies say he's been working out regularily and on a healthy eating plan and because of such control has lost weight. He went though a list of what he eats in a day and described his workout plan. He then mutters,

"Oh ya....and I have a bit of chocolate." He said this like it was a bad thing. In fact he muttered it under his breath!

My other coffee buddy also is known to partake in a wee bit now and then. They are both my cousins.

Could this be a hereditary thing? Could my chocolate addiction be something in my DNA and somethng I don't really have the ability to control or change. Like certain aboriginals and alcohol?

You may say to me,

"But don't be ridiculous Perp. So many people love chocolate beyond what some would consider reasonable." In fact a large portion of the population does.

One of my kids likes chocolate alright, but prefers vanilla. What happend there? Who is this freak? How did she come from me????

Is it possible that non chocolate lovers are the ones with the problem? Maybe something went wrong in the womb or they fell and bumped their heads when they were little. (Sorry 4 of 4. I didn't mean to drop you down the stairs.) Is non chocoholicism a genetic quirk? Might I even say a sickness?

You know, I think I'll go with that. If you aren't a chocolate lover then YOU are the freak.

Oh, and by the way. Eating chocolate chip cookies one day this week, sniffing the kids chocolate Easter Bunnies every night before bed and smelling the cocoa when I was making brownies last night doesn't count as "eating chocolate". You can't give up everything. A girls gotta live you know.

Majority Government

2011-05-03T11:53:00.001-04:00

What a crazy couple of days!

Most suspected the government would experience a shake up, but the whole thing was turned absolutely on it's head.

We have a Conservative majority with Stephen Harper continuing to lead the country. The Socialist NDP party came alive for the first time ever and Jack will get to move into a lovely little home, Stornoway, kicking Iggy out. The best part of all was that the Bloc was almost completely obliterated, keeping only 4 seats. No more separatists calling for the break up of the country and creating a newly formed country called Quebec. Not that I can blame them for wanting that. I wouldn't mind being an island onto myself some times. The Green party got it's first seat in Parliament. I don't look forward to looking at Ms. May's mug for the next four years, but I do look forward to going 4 complete whole years without an election. Every two years is a little much. It appears the majority of Canadians think so too because Iggy was kicked out on his pompous ass across the country and even in his own riding. Bet he's sorry he brought down the government now. Last night he said he'd stay on to rebuild the party, but his party must not have agreed because he resigned this am. Wonder how long it takes for him to boot it back down to the U.S.

Everywhere I go I've been hearing "Ding Dong the witch is dead" being sung by people and on the radio as well. Oddly enough that too is the first thing that came to my mind when I heard the news about a certain terrorist responsible for 911 being assassinated. Wonder when the retaliation will start.

Needless to say, after two nights of staying up 'till 1 or 2 am watching the news, I'm a little sleepy and in need of another coffee.

Fridays Drawing Group

2011-04-29T16:52:00.001-04:00

After a couple of two minute poses as people were changing their drawing tools and preparing for the one hour pose he disappeared. When the head of the group went in search for him he opened the door to an adjoining room and found this model wrapping himself up in ropes, chains and locks. A strange creature he was. Once he returned he was so preoccupied with adjusting himself so that a certain appendage would poke through the lock that I got a case of the giggles. It spread.

She has to be a minimum of 6' tall with hair almost as long as she is tall. I found in this pose I couldn't see anything but her hair it was so beautifully spread across her back. So that's what I drew.

These were all done with an indigo pastel. I've not used pastels before, but it was nice for sketching.

.......then he disappeared, oiled himself up, put on a torn white shirt and geek glasses. I left after drawing for a half hour out of the hour and a half alotted for this pose. I had had enough.

Number 55 vs Kurt

2011-04-14T16:26:00.001-04:00

This is a model from a book/cd called Virtual Pose 3. His name is Pose Number 55. You can bring the image up on your computer and rotate the model 360 degrees. Doesn't he look aerodynamic? They smooth their surface out so much they don't even have butt holes. Funny thing is that most live models are good at chosing poses that aren't quite so .... showy and don't require airbrushing. Which is good, cause there are some things I don't want to draw.

I do however, love to draw/paint nipples. Without them the chest would be so boring.

I remember seeing a version that was kids and was shocked until I saw that they were fully dressed. They also have a 4th version and one with two models together.

Many of the poses aren't the most interesting, but are good for practise when you haven't got naked people begging to be drawn hanging about.

Okay ladies....Kurt picking his nose or the aerodynamic looking No. 55?

Quick Sketch of Kurt

2011-04-13T10:33:00.001-04:00

Just remember Kurt.....you asked for it in your comment.
Hot Chocolate suggested when I'm at the coffee shops drawing the customers I should draw them nude so if they come over.... Well, I like that suggestion. I think I'll do that starting next week.

BTW peoples....no, I don't know what he looks like without clothes on before you ask. Really, with clothes on either for that matter;-)

It All Started With Christine.....

2011-04-12T10:29:00.000-04:00

Dear Megan,

Thanks for asking after me. I have been gone a while. We bought a new vehicle. Her name is Christine. Yes, I did say Christine. That's when the problems started.

Christine, although she doesn't appear to be malevolent, does like to get her own way. We found out early on that when we're driving around she tends to keep readjusting the volume and base on the stereo just to let us know she's there. She likes her rock hard and loud. She likes the windows to vibrate with the base turned up and no matter how many times we readjust the blasted thing she returns the settings to her liking when she thinks we're not looking.

Oddly enough the same week we brought her home my cell phone and computer gave up the ghost. I'd be lying if I said I missed them, but alas, replaced them just the same.

Mr. P, being in the business, spent the weekend recovering data from the old hard drive and transferring it to the new. He just managed to get it set up and was putting it back together when the new drive crashed. Back to square one.

I'm finally up and running again, for now anyways. I try to remember to take Christine out for a drive twice a day, give her a healthy dose of hard rock at her desired volume and base, and give her a pat when I walk by and keep her new and shiny looking. This seems to be placating her for the time being and the computer and cell phone seem to be working for now.

Seems the smarter technology seems to get the more trouble it causes us. (shhh....don't tell her I said that.)

Thanks again for checking up on me.

Perp.

2011-03-27T19:30:00.000-04:00

I've joined facebook to see the artwork of one artist. Facebook gives me a headache. What did I do!!???

Fridays Drawing Group

2011-03-25T17:45:00.000-04:00

2 minute gesture drawings

Blogger hates me today and refuses to post this one upright no matter what I do. Just tilt your head to the right or flip your monitor;-)

Well, I don't think this one needs explanation.

Okay, now it puts it the right way round. Hope you didn't listen to me about the sideways monitor thing;-)

From Chocolate to Art

2011-03-24T14:14:00.000-04:00

This Blog started off almost 6 years ago as a chocolate/humour blog. Now it's art, art and more art. Where did I go wrong? Where did I lose my focus on what's really important in life? Chocolate!

Anyhow, I went into Wednesdays session telling my friend how much I hate painting. I really do. I want so bad to work the painting like I do a coloured pencil or graphite work but can't. I find myself painting with a cloth and my fingers much of the time to gain some control over what's happening. Fingers in toxic substances probably aren't the smartest way to create art. I don't like paint brushes.

My instructor very kindly came over during the class and told me I have the makings of a great painter. I'm improving all of the time and I've got great potential. She must have heard me complaining. She's such an encouraging woman, God bless her, but I still hate painting.

That being said, I want to do it all the more for just that reason. I won't let it beat me. I will continue to paint. The one good thing is that the colour theory involved in the painting process has spilled over onto my coloured pencil works and improved them in the process.

Maybe next I'll paint with chocolate. Goodness knows some of my coloured pencil works are done partially in blood. I usually get paper cuts or stab myself with my pencils and bleed somewhere on the work. Don't worry though....they're sealed with a finish, put behind glass and I have no diseases.

I wonder how many works of art out there today actually contain the DNA of their creators? You think the Mona Lisa has a little of Leonardo in her somewhere?

Maybe someday when I'm long gone someone can take my DNA from one of the works and clone me and bring me back again. But then, why would they want to;-) Once around is enough for most of us.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T19:33:00.002-04:00

I knew I was part Scottish and French. That remains the same. I also believed that the other side of my family, the Fletcher's, were of British origins. Well, God help me, it looks like they were actually Irish. After years of razzing Mr. P. on the horrible fact that he is Irish, turns out I'm at least half that too. I don't even like beer or potatos. But then I don't like haggis either. Actually, haggis has to be the most putrid thing I've ever let pass my lips in both taste and smell. Up to date at least. (That even includes the taste of vomit by the way.)

Anyhow, Happy Saint Patrick's Day. If you try to kiss me though, I'll probably slug you, but at least I won't spit like some Irish do. (See previous post for this to make sense.)

Despite how he looks, he really enjoyed this. When he offered him a treat his bow fell off and he picked it up to bring it with him.

He's a British Lab by the way.

A Shaker Of An Ending

2011-03-16T15:40:00.002-04:00

So today, having teenaged girls, we watched a Robert Pattinson movie, "Remember Me" on the movie channel. At the end of the movie (I'm gonna tell you the ending so close your eyes when you read this if you don't want to know;-) they show his character standing in an office in one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center just before it gets hit on 911. Right then I was so engrossed in the movie I felt the rumbling and commented that that was the best ending ever! I actually felt tragedy physically.

Wrong. The dog also felt it as well and turns out there was an earthquake in Quebec right at the very time the plane was to hit the towers. It resonated through from Montreal (the epicentre) to Ottawa.

Now that all being said, I realize the insignificance of the quake here compared to what's going on now in Japan. I can't even imagine living through what the survivors are dealing with right now. Makes the little shakers, which are far less than even the aftershocks which Japan is having, that much less threatening when they happen.
Anyhow, timing is everything and maybe that movie wouldn't have seemed as good without the added special effects provided by nature.

Drama Queen

2011-03-15T15:40:00.000-04:00

This morning I drove Mr. P to work as is the usual routine. Well actually, he drove. When I drive he turns into a drama queen and life is just more simple when I turn the wheel over to him. Upon arriving at his place of business, the routine is that he says goodbye and gives me a kiss once I've scootched over to the drivers side and get set up behind the wheel.

This morning however, after kissing me goodbye, he looks up horrified in the realization that he has just kissed me on the lips. I have a cold.

Mr. P. did not handle this realization well. He backed away from the car, wipes his mouth multiple times as he staggers down the street glancing back with that horrified look still etched on his face and then finally turns and spits on the street. Twice.

Okay, I didn't slip him the tongue or anything. What's with the spitting?

You know what I think Mr. P......maybe tonight, just because I care and don't want you to get sick, you should sleep in the tool shed. That way we can make sure you don't catch anything.

2011-03-11T16:39:00.000-05:00

New painting started. March Break is next week so no class;-(

This is the afternoon model. I don't know if this fellow is new at modelling, but he couldn't stay still. He twisted and jiggled and moved so much the other artists kept asking him to fix his pose. They'd just get him settled back to where he was and he'd do a big shift again. Oh well.....there is a drawing session next week.

2011-03-05T12:43:00.000-05:00

These were the morning models. I actually forgot my sketch books;-( All I had on me is a very small sketch book (6"x6") that I carry in my knapsack and use for my daily clandestine coffee shop sketches. The smaller the book the less uncomfortable the customers your staring at seem to be. The other paper I had was large newsprint that's great for large one minute scribbles but not much else. I think it turned out to be a good thing though as I worked on details for a change.

This sketch is of the afternoon model. I just wasn't enjoying his poses and props. He had a very large bow time and arm thingys and fur coats, etc.... So instead of him I drew......

..... the other artists. The one on the left is a pretty exact representation of the fellow.

Scorpiosis

2011-03-03T13:06:00.000-05:00

I awoke yesterday morning aware of the knowledge that Mr. P. had contracted a very contagious case of "Scorpiosis." Mr. P awoke to a very angry wife and a nasty punch in the shoulder.

Now don't go and google scorpiosis because you won't find it. It's a rare disease spread by cats that have been deceased for at least seven years or by walking on British carpets in England. Or at least that's what Mr. P would have me believe:-) It presents itself as a nasty pinkish rash all over the torso. There is no cure.

Now when I explained to Mr. P. why I had assaulted him in his sleep, he just rolled his eyes and put it out of his head. He knows that there is nothing he can do to deplete my anger and that it just has to run it's course through the day until it sinks in that it was only a dream and that scorpiosis is nothing more than a figment of my over active night time imagination.

Well, it's now the next day and my anger has faded. We can laugh about it now. Unfortunately though, I haven't had time to work through my feelings towards my second childs vampire teacher that keeps sucking the graphite sticks out of her mechanical pencils. And I'm still annoyed that Scott Baio popped over for a visit last night. I wasn't fond of him when he was famous and am even less so now.

2011-03-02T17:40:00.001-05:00

Usually when I post something new I'm working on I start posting the progress with the completed line drawing. Well, here's what it looks like a step before that. A very rough scribbly draft of the picture, helping me to determine the composition of the work. I already see some potential problems and can work on fixing them before figuring out which lines I will actually use in the line drawing. Believe it or not, the toughest part of this one was doing the math. The sketch is 1.5 times the size of the 8x10" photo which means everything I draw has to be 1.5 times the size of my reference. It made my brain hurt.

Adjusting her turbin, complete. Sorta, kinda, I may still pick at it. I'm definately not loving painting but I figure it's something I've gotta know so..... I think what bugs me is the unfinished look of the work. As it's an "expressive figure" work this is one of the way to make it more expressive. I suppose I just find it hard to switch between Hyper-realism and a more expressive type of work.

2011-02-24T13:32:00.000-05:00

Just started this one.

One more week to go with this model. Considering I did miss a week due to family responsibilities it's not coming along too badly. If I can finish the figure next week the rest I can ad lib at home.

Friday Feb 18

2011-02-21T11:31:00.000-05:00

Blogger and/or the network is playing an early April Fools joke on me. It doesn't want to post my pictures and when it does it puts them up sideways. I've given up and am leaving one that way. The others will have to wait for another day as it has now locked me out totally;-(

2011-02-11T17:37:00.001-05:00

I was quite enjoying drawing today although have a headache after the 6 hours I spent doing it. The drawings appear a bit light due to the flash on my camera. This young model was quite skinny and bones were protruding everywhere. Her limbs were so skinny they looked odd when drawn as they actually were so I may have plumped them up a tad.

My brother came to draw today. It was good to see him at a time other than Christmas, etc.... Hopefully it will become a habit.

If you saw yesterday's post you may notice due to Kurts comment I changed the name of the painting. Yes, just like that!

2011-02-10T15:17:00.002-05:00

Other Kurts Exist

9"x10.5"

Coloured Pencil on Stonehedge

I mean Stonehenge

2011-02-08T13:18:00.003-05:00

Here's the imprematura for my next painting which is supposed to start Wednesday if I don't have any more sick kids home with me.

I decided on green this time because my tubes of green paint remain suspiciously plump. I don't think I've every really used them. If I want green I usually just mix it, which is pretty much never anyways. Green is a puzzle to me. I find it quite a confounding colour. I realize that my coloured pencil work I am currently working on is a frog series. Green frogs. That being said, I am only now getting a hint at how to work with the colour in coloured pencils. It's still a mystery to me in paint.

The top drawings are from Friday's drawing group. Mr. P. thinks this is my favourite model and that my face lights up when his name is said. I do like this model, but I can't say he is my favorite. He is a large ball of masculine energy with a gutteral sounding Portuguese name that's fun to say, that's all. One of my favourite models actually sat beside me last Friday afternoon and will be modelling this week. You'll remember him from previous drawings as the Kurt look a like with a British accent. Not that you can see his accent;-) He too, like Kurt, is a teacher. Makes me wonder if his students know what he does on the side;-0

As for who makes my top favourites in the female category, well, they are all skeletal in shape and don't get hired nearly enough.

I've also started working on a couple more that I'll post once I get a bit further on them.

I Am Here.......

2011-02-02T18:02:00.003-05:00

I am here....

And here.......

Mr. P. and Ms. Vicki are here......

And here......

He wrote me this e-mail......

Dear Sandi,

How can I work in these conditions. Sun, heat, beaches and palm trees. Sand gets mixed in with my sunscreen. I miss the snow. I can't wait to see snow on my airplane's wings again :-)

Love Tim

And I replied like this.....

Dear Mr. P.,

Bastard!

S.

Today I drove through a snowstorm to work on this......

Which I still want to work on at home even though I no longer have access to the model. I find painting with oils extremly frustrating, but I refuse to give up. The work isn't actually this orange. I took the photo in the dusky there's a snowstorm outside light.

Tomorrow when Mr. P. plans on getting home I won't be here. I'm going to an art show so I don't have to smell that California odour he'll no doubt be wearing when he gets home.

When he got home from Arizona I told him he smelled weird and smokey. He told me that oddly enough he found Arizona smelled like mesquite. If he came home smelling like the beach I fear I might have to do him an injury;-)

I'm So Cool?

2011-02-01T19:20:00.002-05:00

I made a quick stop on the way home this evening from picking up 2 of 4 at the local fruit and veggie mart. Tomorrows snow storm may make driving difficult and I want to have food!

When we got to the cash and were waiting in line I saw some lovely grapefruits nearby and dashed over to pick a couple up. While walking back to the cash 2 of 4 glanced over and I held them up against my chest as if they were.....well, you know, and made a prissy face. I'll do anything I think may embarrass my kids.
The cashier then started to ring us through.

"I don't know if I should touch those!" the cashier exclaims.

"Huh?" I ask confused

"You know, the breasts." she answers pointing to the grapefruits laughing.

"Your Mom is so cool! That was great!!!" She tells my daughter.

Now I'm not sure if like good is bad if cool is the new term for the word idiot, but that's not the first time I've heard that lately. 2 of 4 had a couple of friends over and I asked them if Sarah had turned them gay yet in her quest for a new best friend. The young guy in the group, after getting over his initial shock turned to her and said, yes, you guessed it....

"Your Mom is cool!" I later found out his Father is a fashionista according to 2.

I don't know if I'm actually cool. I suspect not, but at least my artwork made it as artwork of the month on the Figureworks site!

A Conversation from Yesterday

2011-01-30T15:15:00.001-05:00

"I have to go to California again." Mr. P told the kids.

"Ahhh, tsk......" replies 4 of 4 who is 8 years old.

"Sorry, but I have no choice, but I won't be gone long." Mr. P. says.

"Did you not do a good enough job the last time you were down there?"

*************************

We went skiing yesterday. I use the term we loosely though. We did all go, but I didn't actually ski. I was the anchor in the ski lodge sipping coffee and working on one of my paintings. When someone wanted to come in I was there. Just as Mr. sits in the sun in California sipping cool drinks for our benefit, I sit in the ski lodge for my family even though I'd rather be skiing like them;-)

I used to ski. I learned when I met Mr. P. Even after many, many years of lessons and skiiing, it scared me then and scares me even more now. I hate the heights of the chair lifts, the bitter cold winds while swinging up above crazy daredevils down below. I quiver at the thought of staring down a steep, steep ice laden hillside. I think about the broken leg and surgery that 1 of 4 had to endure with just a small fall from a very slow speed a few years back. And darn it....I had to miss it all.

Bottom Line Group~Jan 28, 2011

2011-01-28T16:38:00.000-05:00

Graphite on paper

Today I had better luck with the short poses and not so much with the longer afternoon ones. The room was stifling and it was making some of us sleepy!

Teddy vs Horace

2011-01-24T14:42:00.001-05:00

It's funny how sometimes the best art days are ones in which you don't actually make art at all!

My last post was a downer. I was ready to kill "Teddy" (the monster that drives me artistically) and try to live a normal, non-artistic life. He must know a few monsters and pulled a few strings which in turn fed my ego enough to coax me to continue creating for a while longer. Who controls Teddy I'd like to know. God I suppose.

What did it take to inflate my deflated ego? Three unrelated things happend. One of my paintings made somebody cry.....in a good way that is (at least I think they liked it. They either said it was beautiful or beanful. I'm not sure which, it was hard to read the handwriting), someone took my business card from a display over many others and I was chosen as the "Featured Artist of the Month" on the Figureworks website for February. If you want to see it, don't go there now because it's not February yet! This is a great thrill for me as it is a large group of very talented artists, many of whom are actually professional, full-time, artists! This all should get me through to the end of the day when "Horace" my self doubt monster gets the upper hand again and knocks me back down to the place where I belong.

It was -32 celcius (-25.6F) this am and I tried the boiling water toss and it worked! It even came with the oh so cool sound effects. I think the boiling water toss should be a new winter olympic event. It's more entertaining than most.

This Week

2011-01-22T11:32:00.003-05:00

In Progress

Coloured Pencil

In Progress

Oil

Graphite on paper

Bottom Line Group

Graphite on paper

Bottom Line Group

I was in a mood when I drew the last drawing at the lifedrawing group on Friday. I had been thinking about what's going on in the city and having a very bad art day.

One of the kids friends was murdered just before Christmas and had his body dumped in the street downtown in China town. He was a good kid. Three of the accused are now out on bail and one fled the country.

A man has been running up behind women on the street in areas I frequent and knocking them on the head with a hammer then running away.

A 16 year old got pulled into an SUV and raped.

One of our neighbours who we've gotten along very well with, has just been dragged away by the police and charged with possession of child pornography. Mr. P. says he won't trust my internal alarms anymore. There are others I don't trust alone with my kids, but he didn't send out any weird vibes at all. All that being said, he has only been charged and not taken to court yet, so he's innocent until proven guilty. Yet I'll not leave my kids alone with him. Funny thing is, I always felt better when he would be out with his dog when the kids were playing because I had a good feeling about him.

Anyhow, it was one of those weeks when you wonder why the hell God put you here and why you bother to stay! What I'm supposed to contribute to society. I suppose if nothing else then at least being a Mom should be reason enough, but our country values that job description least of all. It's their belief that government can do even that better. I just wish they'd stop trying to be everything and focus on capturing hammer weilding hooligans before they bop any more women on the head.

2011-01-18T11:38:00.001-05:00

If you are ever in need of a lift or a giggle you can find it at:
Tattytiara, Whomever the writer is seems wonderfully bizzare and you should check it out for yourself. Go.....now. Seriously.

The New Me

2011-01-17T13:35:00.000-05:00

Mr. P.

I just spent the last couple of hours writing a long post on pragmatism. I will spare you this and just say the following.....

Ultimately although I believe I am who I am, I will try to be who I could be even if I don't believe I ever can be what I should be.

S.

My Sister's Clone

2011-01-16T12:24:00.001-05:00

My daughter "Three of Four", is a clone of my sister "Very Yucky".

When you have children you would expect some familial resemblances. It's just suprising to me how much of a role genetics plays in the development of offspring. Things you think couldn't possibly be explained by your genes such as how you eat a carrot. Very Yucky eats around the core then the center. She eats O Henry chocolate bars the same way. When we were kids she used to rub her flattened palm on the carpet. This used to drive me nuts like nails on a chalkboard. Three of Four also finds these things entertaining as well. What's that you say? She probably learned them from Very Yucky? No, not possible. She only sees her every few years and has never watched her preforming any of these entertaining past times and none of my other kids do these things.

It really hit home this morning when we were discussing dusting off the ice skates and making our way down to the Rideau canal for a skate. I grew up along side the canal and lived on skates. I'd go every day after school and spend much of my weekend on the worlds longest skateway. Very Yucky did not. Oh sure, she did skate occasionally, but as she grew older would turn down my invitations to join me.

This morning "Three of Four" informed me she didn't want to skate because skates hurt her ankles. I felt like Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo. The only difference in the phrasing of her rejection was that she said her ankles hurt her, not that she has weak ankles like Very Yucky so often said.

There are worse things than living with your sister then her clone for most of your life. Like nursing your infant daughter and looking down into her face only to see the clone of your Father in law looking back at you. Now that one creeped me out.

Vicki Goes Golfing and Bottom Line Group

2011-01-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure where this is, but apparently Vicki likes golfing. Who knew.

The male model brought his dog today for the afternoon session. She was quite well behaved, but anytime anyone would go near the snack table she was there in a flash so she didn't make it into any of the drawings. The afternoon poses were long poses.

The female model in the morning session wore goggles and a bike helmet which was quite awful to draw. This morning session was short poses ranging from 2 minutes to the longest being 15 minutes.

2011-01-13T20:52:00.002-05:00

Sandy,

I forgot my sunglasses and sunscreen. Had to eat lunch in the shade. The sacrifices I make for my family :=)

Love

Mr. P.

***************

Mr. P

I'm letting the dog sleep with his butt on your pillow.

S.

Dear .......

2011-01-12T07:29:00.007-05:00

Sandi;

Vickie and I are now walking around in summer clothing.

How did the dishwasher thing go?

Mr. P.
********************************
Mr. P;

The dirty dishes await your return.

S.

P.S. I think the coffee machine is broken. When I got up this morning the pot was cold and empty. Also, the dog was still in the house and not out for his walk. Isn't it weird these things always happen only while you're away!

P.S.S. You suck for mentioning the warmth were I can't be!

P.S.S.S. How do you work the coffee pot again?

***************************

To answer a question posted by Sandy, Ms. Vicki is my world traveling underwear who is dusted off everytime my husband goes on a business trip that I can't go on.....which is always. She's gone to Japan, Korea, through the States, France, England and Germany to name a few.

As for the suggestions, thanks.

Kurt, but that's my norm.

Jennifer Rose, I did think about another one in my ear. Hmmm...... And Mr. P wouldn't notice that. A friend gave me earrings one year and he ask her why since I didn't have my ears pierced. Not only did I have them done, but did so since I was a teen. No tattoos though. I like change too much.

Tattytiara, I'm on it.

Also, I made brownies last night at 9:30 then ate them! Isn't that wild;-) (And yes Mr. P, I turned the stove off!)

**********************************
A quick note to my parents who got their internet and phone access 2 days earlier than expected....I was only kidding when I said I was thinking about what I could do that I wasn't allowed to when I was alone for the first time. Really, I was thinking what else I should study and what housework needed to be done.

While The Cat's Away.....

2011-01-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

I remember the first time I got to stay home alone when I was a kid. I was elated. I have to admit though, the first thing to pop into my head was, "what can I do that I'm not usually allowed to." I can tell you this now secure in the knowledge that my parents won't have their internet up and running for a couple of more days as this is something I never made known to them. That being said, I never did do anything I wasn't supposed to. Lucky parents. I was such an angelic child.

The second thing to cross my mind when I found out that Mr. P was going to California.....yes, the second as the first was, awwww! Really? Do you have to go? I'm gonna miss you soooo much! Anyhow, the second thing I said to myself was, "what can I do that I can't when he's here."

One previous time when he was on an extended journey these thoughts crossed my meager mind resulting in the purchase of two pet rats. He was not impressed upon his return. What did I learn from this? Never leave evidence. Whatever I decide to do has to be gone from the house before his return.

I have considered a number of things such as the following:

I could take up smoking or drinking while he's gone. I don't like alcohol and cigarettes aren't appealing so that one won't make the list.

He hates wasting electricity and insists all lights be turned off except for one bleak bulb lighting whatever room we're huddled in. I was thinking maybe I would turn on all the lights in the house and run from room to room without turning a single light off. I may leave on the tv's and radios just for fun (This is afterall, how I grew up!) The only problem with this is the cost of hydro in our province is so sinfully high that it might cut into my cafe budget and I won't give up my coffee shops! So that one's a no go too.

Hmmmm. I know! I won't shave my legs! That's it! That ones good. Maybe I'll even be wild and leave my arm pits fuzzy too! That's a good one. What else, what else.....

Any suggestions keeping in mind I have 4 youngish kids in the house? I mean, there's wild and then there's wild.

Progress On Not Kurt

2011-01-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

It's coming along slowly. I hate working on the pants. I've not done denim before and don't like it. I was working the bullfrog in pointillism today. His head is made up of so many specks of colours on top of his eyes it's the quickest way to deal with it. I love pointillism and would love to work a whole painting that way some day. Jennifer Rose over at Fuzzy Dragons has some examples on her site if you go fishing through. If you click on her link you will see todays post which features her giving CPR to a small toy cow. I donno. She's an artist, what can I say;-)

Looks like yet another monster storm is heading up the Eastern coast and will pass to the south of us again. WooHoo!! It's also not a bad temperature here which is good since all of my mittens have been stolen by various offspring. Today I could only find one and went for a good brisk hour long walk home from the coffee shop with one hand mitted and one in my pocket. You getting it in your neck of the woods "Ms. Very Yucky"?

Ms. Vicki just stripped down to her skivvies and is ready to go to California with Mr. P. I remove all of her jewelry before she goes so they don't get misplaced on the trip. Hopefully she'll be sporting a couple of new pins when she gets back.

2011-01-07T16:29:00.000-05:00

2 minute sketches.....and yes that's a chain pierced through his.....junk.

5 minute sketches.

One of my favourite models was at the life drawing group today. Unfortunately he was sitting behind me drawing and not modeling. The guy on the wang leash is a good model, it's just I'm a little grossed out by him. That being said, he seemed to be quite enjoying himself today as became apparent about half way through the last pose. I drew it as it stood. (Not pictured here.)

The afternoon model was another that I tend to have a more difficult time drawing. She has an odd shaped head and it always throws me off. She came to peek at my drawing as well as my friends and had a laugh at them. I won't post the picture just for that reason. Personally I wasn't going for funny, and neither were the others so....

Well, Mr. P. picked Ms. Vicki to go to California instead of me. He made sure to book an appointment with a repairman when he's gone so I'd have to be here instead of there. Big dummy. Plus there was the whole not being able to leave little kids at home alone for a couple of days with just a bowl of food, water and kitty litter like you can a cat. Not that I'd trade them in though. I hate cats!

2011-01-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

I received my copy of the OPE zine today which is nothing short of a miracle since it was just mailed out Monday, or so Kurt says if we are to believe him. From what I know of the Canadian mail system and of the American one from what I see on Seinfeld, I'm thinking they didn't get mailed at all. Teleportation. That's the only plausible answer.

I've put it on my art table along side my current project for inspiration. So far it hasn't worked. I keep picking it up and reading "just one more page" and can't get a thing done. If you haven't purchased a copy then it's your loss.

Mr. P. just a minute ago informed me that he may have to travel to Xxxxx California sometime in the next couple of weeks. The conversation went as follows,

"Oh, I just found out I may have to travel to California sometime in the next couple of weeks." he says calmly and casually.

"GASP!!!! SCREAM!!! I WANT TO GO!!!! I reply

"It's not for sure yet though." he answers peeling me off his face.

"I have to go! It has Beach in it's name. That has to be good. Pick me, pick me, not Ms. Vicki this time." I request.

I googled it and indeed it looks lovely with palm trees and sun and warmth.

"Damn it! I almost forgot, we have kids." [sigh] The people who watch the kids when we are away are themselves in someplace warm and sunny not anywhere near here. [weeping and gnashing of teeth]

I hate Ms. Vicki.

Like an exclamation point at the end of this are my kids. In the background as I type fighting like there's no tomorrow. Yes, I love them. I'm lucky to have them, but damn! Yes Mom and Dad, I used a swear word. Twice.

One Christmas card.....so many surprises!

2011-01-05T18:36:00.002-05:00

I've never had a Christmas card with that word in it before. Thanks for the laugh. Also, it set me straight on one theory I had about you;-)

Santa Couldn't Bring What She Wanted

2011-01-03T11:42:00.004-05:00

"Two of Four" has a dream. She wants something that Santa couldn't bring her for Christmas. It's not something you can buy or make, but that won't stop her from trying. It's something many of us women would love to have but few get. She's been working on her project since sometime this fall with little success but she hasn't given up hope.....yet.

"Billy" is 13, young, cute, and Asian. He's friendly, smart and popular. "Billy" is friends with "Two" and calls on her often. At times hardly an evening goes by without a call or two from him. Unfortunately that's not what she wants. She doesn't want him as her boyfriend. She wants him as her new "BFF". Her new gay best friend. One problem though is that "Billy" isn't gay.

She's taken him shopping, bought him "girly" gifts and suggests wardrobe and hair fashions for him that would make him look what she considers "more gay". She is teaching him how to speak and walk differently and the importance of watching "Steve and Chris" on the CBS for guidance. He is a good natured fellow and he and his friends jokingly adorns wigs and make-up to please the girls....temporarily. Yes, I say girls. I suspect she's not the only one that wants a gay BFF. It seems to be the dream of many.

All of that being said, I'm trying to impart on her that just because someone is gay, that doesn't mean that they would be a good BFF. Some don't like shopping, cooking, make overs, discussing relationships or planning home decor. In fact some aren't even pleasant! I suppose that's why she picked Billy. He's everything a woman would want in a gay guy BFF, except for the fact that he isn't gay.

You know, personally, I know she'll never convert him. It just doesn't work that way. I don't mind though. She's not into drugs, drinking or sleezy behavior. If trying to turn her guy friends gay (and they don't mind) keeps her out of trouble, you go girl!

2010-12-27T18:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Perp;

Thank you for the Christmas presents. I don't want you to interpret my peeing myself when you let me open my gifts for forgiveness. Do you really think these material things will placate me for all of the stuff you put me through this year? Don't get me wrong! I love my new stuffed candy cane, ball on a rope, bones and pupperoni's, but it still doesn't make up for the whole using me as a purse puppy or sticking reading glasses on me for photos not to mention making me go to that God forsaken place full of flies and other nasties called "the country". Remember, you also abandoned me for a week and left me in the company of that Retriever b**ch Candy. She's no picnic! Is that the way you treat a loved one?

I'll expect better treatment and more dignified behavior from you in the New Year. Oh, and thanks again for the pupperoni even though they do cause gas.

Hunter the Dog

.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T14:07:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas to those of you who decided to hold back your Christmas cards in order to re-gift the booby trap from my card to you and then send it to me. I suspected as much and carefully opened the card over the garbage. I'm glad it didn't contain cash.

Merry Christmas to those of you who sent Christmas cards to the nude drawings hanging on our walls. Very artistic of you.

Merry Christmas to those of you who brought over gifts only to be turfed out on your a** by my evil front step. It's one heck of a step and one heck of a fall. My sincerest apologies! Normally we let people bearing gifts in without the nasty ceremony. At least the nice ones;-)

Merry Christmas to everyone else. Whether you celebrate it or not. I hope you have a safe and preposterous new year. Yes I meant preposterous. It's more fun than the normal after all!

Finally, Merry Christmas to Kurt. (Who is preposterous) I've started your painting again. Well, sort of. Thanks for your contributions to the blog!

p.s. yes, we stuff Mr. Hunter's stocking early. He gets so excited when he sees us hang it up I can't resist. I love to torment him. He'll spend the rest of today chekcing it out every once in a while knowing full well he's not allowed to touch it till tomorrow morning. When we get up tomorrow he'll bowl everybody over in an attempt to get to it before anyone else does in order to make sure he gets to it's contents before we do on the off chance we may actually try to take his stuffed toy or bone before he does.

Speechless~Seven Models and Ten Minutes

2010-12-17T16:46:00.001-05:00

So today was the Christmas potluck lunch at the lifedrawing group "The Bottom Line" that I go to Fridays. In the morning we had two male models doing 3 minute poses that gradually increased to a 15 minute one at the end of the 2.5 hours. I sucked! How the heck do you draw two whole people in 3 minutes?

I've been to a lot of potlucks but I have to say never one as interesting as this. The food choices of artists attending these events is a lot more eclectic than that of a normal group. Delicious though!

The regular models were invited as well as the member artists. Eight models in all showed up and about 30 artists. After lunch seven of them proceeded to the front of the room and disrobed together [gasp]. They then chose a pose together and stood for 10 minutes. How do you draw SEVEN people in 10 minutes???? I'm not sure if the program coordinator requested this or if the models had too much wine and decided to give us an early Christmas present, but it was fun.

I've got a pretty good idea of the direction I want to take with my drawing in the New Year but as we each have our own writing styles so do we our drawing and I'm not sure if it's something I can change but I'll sure try!

And finally, here's one I'm working on now. It's temporarily called "Not Kurt".

Not Kurt's Christmas Card for 2010

2010-12-08T10:34:00.000-05:00

Here's the 2010 Christmas Card for everyone except Kurt. I got most mailed off but ran out of stamps with just a few left to go out. Even though I'm a big procrastinator, rest assured you will get your card, it just might not be until July when I get back to the post office again.

If you do get your card remember it's not nice to swear in front of the kids. Yes, they're boobie trapped again this year. (I ask for so little and it pleasures me to annoy you.) Some of them are anyhow. If I thought you might have a hard time cleaning up the mess or are over the age at which bending over is possible, I spared you. If you have kids though, watch out. At least I didn't put in one of those blasted things that jumps out at you. (I'm saving that for next year;-)

2010-12-07T14:00:00.001-05:00

A few years ago I started sending out Christmas cards of my own design. The first year I did this I hand drew and coloured 80 cards. What did I learn from this experience? That was really stupid! Now in an attempt to save myself about a month of 12 hours days of cartooning, I pick one individual to torment with my "creativity." The rest receive a more generic card printed from my computer with the original going to someone on the list. Don't get me wrong! I still hand address all of the envelopes and lick all of the stamps......well, peel them off the stamp sheet anyhow.

This year the original of my generic card is going to "Grandma C."

This year the person I will torment is......yes, you've guessed it......Kurt!

Merry Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate and hope you don't die in the New Year! (Or before)

.....oops! Just noticed I missed colouring a cookie;-(

Kurt, your card is in the mail..

2010-11-11T10:09:00.010-05:00

Word on the street is that Perp Choc is saving the drawing of me (Kurt) with my finger up my nose* as a Christmas present. That I am the only one on the street saying this doesn't mean that it isn't true. Especially as other people on the street are now repeating it. Soon it will have to be true.

*It has been said that I am picking my nose in the picture. This is untrue. My tradition is to pose for photos around the world with my finger in my nose, but it is merely a pose; no picking takes place (at least not during the taking of the photos). Like Vicki Stripɘs, my nose has traveled much and deserves to be featured in trip photos at least once per voyage.

Bottom Line Group

2010-11-06T10:58:00.001-04:00

I gave in to the monster Friday (who is apparently called Teddy). I stayed at the "Bottom Line" group for 6.5 hours. After drawing for 5 hours I was ready to leave. Unfortunately it was so packed I couldn't get out even if I wanted to. (And I did.) I sat and continued to draw the same pose multiple times for the remaining hour. Normally I'd concentrate on just one drawing for that hour and a half, but I was as done as dinner and could only do quick sketches.

There were some artists who came in late and ended up drawing the backs of other artists, not having a view of the model at all.

It started off well, but by the end I was scribbling and unable to get anything lined up correctly. Had I been thinking I would have just went for something abstract, but maybe next time. Or not. I don't think I want to do a double session like that again. Not with 35 other artists physically packed into such a small space. My poor friend next to me kept bumping me. Easels were in danger of toppling when knocked with a leg stretch and I put my high boot heel into somebody's coffee mug.

Teddy is elated and like a drug addict, only satisfied for a short time. Already this morning he's screaming for more.

BTW.......I got in trouble AGAIN for swearing on the blog. I pointed out that I didn't actually swear. What I wrote was "f***ing". This, I explained, stood for "fudging" monster. I was then asked why I didn't just write fudging. I replied that I was using it in a way that was to imply a curse so I wrote it with stars. Fudging monster is not a swear. Parents are such hard work.

Never Leave Your Cell Phone With A Teenager

2010-11-04T11:42:00.003-04:00

Monster: "My name's not Hank"
Sandi: "La,la,la,la.....I can't hear you!"
Monster: "I said, my name's not Hank. It's Teddy."
Sandi: "Huuummmmm.......I still can't hear you!"
Monster: "That's okay. I've got all day. BTW.......Where the heck did you get the name Hank anyways."
Sandi: "It just came to me."

Well "Hot Chocolate" dumped me again this week. Work my ass!

On the topic of Hot Chocolate, his name came up in my art class yesterday. He came as my guest to one of my classes last winter and one of the ladies currently in my class remembered him. She mentioned she thought he was quite attractive a couple of times during the course of the morning so I guess Hot Chocolate Jr. isn't the only hot dude in that family.

A word to the wise, never leave your work cell phone in the hands of a teenager. These are not normal human beings with normal brain functions. It's a medically known fact that their brains go off-line for a few years before reengaging and becoming normal again.

Another thing to note....you should never allow your husband to snap a photo of you flashing your boobs at him (with your bra on....or off for that matter) on said business phone that he might land in the hands of just such a teenager to monitor while in the shower as he is awaiting a call. Big mistake.

If you do this you may come back to find that said teenager has used that particular picture as a background for his phone screen and may consider putting it as your caller id picture that goes out to all the people that your husband calls. All your husbands business contacts that is. Around the world. Japan, Korea, U.K, U.S. (You get the picture. Or in this case....hopefully you didn't!)

P.S. My Thursday mornings are now free for any takers.

Killing the Monster

2010-11-03T13:22:00.002-04:00

Cheese Slice Bob from next door drove up just after my tantrum and came over to chat.

Cheese Slice Bob: What'cha doing?

Sandi: Hmmm, having a bad art day.

Chees Slice Bob: So how's the painting coming?

Sandi: [Blank Stare for a few seconds] Ummm.......Okay......well, not today, but okay I guess.

Cheese Slice Bob: Ah! That's good!

I had just started the clean up and I think he was enjoying one of my female nudes and probably didn't hear much of what I said. At least he kept sneaking peaks at it. He was feeding the monster.

Today I hate art. Actually, for about a half a month now I've hated art. I hate the monster that drives the desire to create the art. I want to kill that monster.

I draw at home, group sessions, coffee shops, paint in class. I live and breath art. I watch how the light hits a persons face in the grocery store, imagine how I would capture a small smirk on a stranger in a coffee shop, wonder what colours I would use and what direction the strokes would take when seeing a landscape. (And I don't even do lanscapes!) I can't turn it off.

The monster drives me on a primal level. It's instinctive, this desire. I have to do it. I try to stop. I ignore the monster, tune him out, refuse to give in. The desire grows stronger until I can think of nothing else. Like a chocoholic thinks of chocolate when abstaining (I know all about that!) My monster demands to be satisfied, but he never is.

I hate art.

It felt good to throw everything out the window! I really did it. But then Cheese Slice Bob stood enjoying my nude painting. At least that's what the monster would have me believe. My monster rejoiced as I wavered thinking that could be true.

I Hate Art!

Dejected at having the failed in my attempt to completely eradicate my monster, or even subdue him for any length of time, I returned the objects to their places in my home. Then for good measure, the monster punished my tantrum by stabbing me good and proper in the wrist with a needle sharp colourless blender. Bastard!!! Broke my lawn gnome too with the canvas. Idiot!

I HATE ART!! And I HATE that F***ing monster!

P.S. His name is Hank.

2010-11-01T12:02:00.002-04:00

We had a house full of kids here last night getting all horrifified up (if I may create a word) to go out pillage the neighbourhood for candy. Okay, maybe pillage is a strong word, but not for what one kid did to my roast beef!

I bought a fairly large roast to feed a few extra kids. I kid you not, one small, skinny Asian 15 year old girl ate half the fair sized roast beef all herself, at least 5 whole potatos and veggies on the side. Three full large plates of food later she was done. My daughter tells me she eats like this at school too. One of the other kids, a 15 year old male, was seen picking at small amounts of food, eating very little. When I asked my daughter about it later she told me he had never, ever in his life yet used a fork, and was having great difficulty trying to pick up his food. They went looking for our chopsticks but couldn't find where I stored them. It's probably a good thing though. If he ate like the other kid we wouldn't have had enough to feed them both let alone the rest;-) Oddly enough though, there was lots of broccoli and asperagus left.

One really nasty, horrible joke was played on us this Halloween. We got 6 cm of snow the night before and it hasn't all melted. Yuck! I hate cold!

Looks like another blogger is throwing in the towel. Ve from Ve's Fantastical Nonsense is calling it quits. Time to clean the side bar up. It's such a sad task.

2010-10-30T12:55:00.000-04:00

Somebody decorated the middle of the River for Halloween. They would have gotten wet as the water level makes rock hopping impossible right now. The third pumpkin says "Bowden Sunmaze" which is in Alberta when I Google it. I don't know. It's these little things that make me love the city in which I live. Or the city in the next province over. Not sure where the creative artist lives, but since there was nothing written in French I'd guess the Ontario side.

Bottom Line

2010-10-29T13:48:00.000-04:00

Heard at Bottom Line lifedrawing group this a.m........

Lady: "Ahhh, I see you decided to come back after all!"
Man: "Yes"
Lady: "You got over last time?"
Man: "Well, I decided that drawing is like oatmeal.....you may not always enjoy it, but it's good for you!"
Me: "Tell me about it!"

2 minute sketch

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one there fighting my pencil the whole time. I was thinking of staying for the afternoon session as well, but I didn't bring a lunch and one cannot survive on art alone. Also, the model was a larger woman with a very big mask and I need practise with skinny people with faces. It's unfortunate because some amazing artists were starting to show up to draw (my instructor included) and I would have loved to wander around and watch them. Oh well, maybe next time.

15 minute sketch

I think Bogger is getting Halloween and April Fools' mixed up. No matter what I do to this last picture it won't stand up straight. I guess you'll have to lie down to see it;-)
The model today had no wang piercings, but he brought lots of props. I think I like props better.