Bad Art Day

Adventurer has told me in the past to keep making art. Even if it has to be bad art. If it's a bad art day keep doing it anyways and get through it so you can start making good art again. Today was one of those difficult art days.

I went to my "Expressive Figure Drawing" class. It's the last one this session. The model was an hour late, but the time was spent productively viewing an art show in the schools gallery of whom my instructor was the feature artist. When the model arrived the work proceeded and although I was making positive progress, my frustration level was high and for the first time ever, I packed up and left the class early. Why was I frustrated? Why was my charcoal not doing what I wanted? Who knows. I think it just would have been one of those days regardless of what I was doing. The art wasn't going much better at home. I was afraid my bad art day would spill onto my current painting and potentially do irreparable damage. I put it aside with my temper and did laundry instead.

Just as Grandma C promised the nice weather is on the way from her part of the country, I just know the good art days are too! I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm suffering from a Vitamin D deficeincy much like many others around me. And no, not the kind you can get from a pill.

Canada Day Cookies

Recipe:
Take one kid
Add one maple leaf shaped cookie with red icing
Add one artist with a camera
Also add a set of unsuspecting parents
and..... VOILA!
You get a painting called "Canada Day Cookies"

Still snowing. Blahhhh! When will summer come? In the region of Canada we're in we really only have 2, occasionally 3 seasons not 4 as many believe. We often go directly from winter cold to summer hot. I miss those days. We are actually getting an old fashioned Canadian Spring with unexpected snowfalls, rain and a sunny day about one day every 2 or 3 weeks.

April showers bring May sours. At least sour is how I'm feeling right now.

At least I finished another painting today! The snow stops my hapless wanderings through the hood in an attempt to exercise thus increasing my overall productivity level.

Snow....Yet Again. Yippppeee.....NOT!

It's snowing here again. AGAIN...and AGAIN!! The sun's not supposed to come out until Friday. What flippin' happened to global warming? I was looking forward to that!

White Mocha informs me that the maple sugar season is pretty much over for this year. There was not a big run this year so if you like real maple syrup it's going to cost you! We only had a couple of good days for the sap to run. The temperatures need to go below zero degrees C at night and above zero during the day. The trees won't run if it's windy or cloudy or warm. It needs to be sunny but not too hot. Picky trees. How does she know all this? Her family's in the business. Why don't I call her Maple Syrup instead of White Mocha? I dunno.

PLEASE! PLEASE GOD! Bring us some warmth and sunny goodness!

The Day After April Fools Day!

I didn't post on April Fools day. I don't like April Fools day. If you've read any of my other posts lately let me ask you, do I need help looking like an idiot?

2 of 4 got a skateboard. I've tried it and I haven't killed myself on it yet.

I went for my first bike ride of the season the other day with my clipless, clip-in shoes. I didn't fall that day.

I went to my expressive drawing class yesterday and left with a charcoal nose but no other injury.

I went to "Framed!" yesterday and put together my last project. I didn't glue, nail, or break anything in any way than how it should be dealt with. Well......okay, maybe I glued myself a little bit, but it was only white carpenters glue not that crazy stuff.

My family KNEW I was not in my happy place and quickly discontinued their plotting. Smart people.

I appear to be on a roll. Why jinx it by participating in April Fools day. Whether as a joker or jokee, I would always land up coming out the fool.

Coloured Pencil Savings Tip a la Frank Spencer

TIP: You can save on coloured pencil cost by glueing a pencil stub to a new pencil with crazy glue. Once it is dry you can continue to use the smaller pencil and sharpen it normally.


I've read this suggestion from many well know established coloured pencil artists. I have used this tip once to use up an entire pencil of a discontinued colour. Waste not because you have not! I thought I'd try and save the remains of my "Sky Light Blue" pencil. I could still buy this colour. It's not like they've discontinued this one, but why buy a new one when I can just keep using the remains of this one after all?

Are you familiar with Frank Spencer from the 70's British comedy "Some Mother's Do 'Ave Em?" I am the female version of Frank.

The Crazy glue was jammed up in the tube. I cut off the tip after being convinced there was no other way to rescue it. If I bought another crazy glue that would defeat the purpose of saving money by not buying another coloured pencil!

I glued a kleenex to my countertop, two of my fingers together and the pencil to my left hand.

Luckily for me the glue actually acts more like a paint stripper on the outer paint of the coloured pencil and I was able to coax the pencil from my fingers. I pried my fingers apart to wipe the glue from the counter. I pried my fingers from the counter and painstakingly picked the kleenex now glued to my fingers, from said fingers.

I now had a disturbing problem. How to get the thick layer of now hardened crazy glue and sky light blue Prismacolor pencil paint from my fingers. They were hard to bend because of the glue!

I got out my sanding block. I sanded my fingers until the blue and glue came off.

I now have fingers that any criminal would envy. Smooth and fingerprintless. The crazy glue remained in the ridges of my print and I sanded them to perfection.

I threw away both the crazy glue and the pencil bit.

If you are one of the artists that suggests this method for saving on pencil costs to you I say,
"Pthpppsssssts!!!!!!!!!!"

Spend the $2 for a new pencil you cheapskate!

Cou Cou

This one is now up for sale in Aylmer at the bakery. The owner was telling us that a few people had not realized it was a painting and thought it was a photo. If it sells it will feel like I'm letting go of one of my babies. With portraits it's a bit easier because they look like they belong to someone else. With these, I'm giving away a wee bit of my creative self.

It's title is Peek-A-Boo. In Quebec it's listed as Cou-Cou which is peek a boo in French. Thank God for the owner who translated it for me and is allowing me to sell through her shop!

She's Ripped:-0

I got farther on one of my previous paintings. Unfortunately I was using a kneaded eraser on it and lifted the paper with the pencil. C'est la vie. There goes 10 hours of work. Happens.

I asked Mr. P. if he could tell where the "accident" was. He couldn't, but to me it looks like a scab and it will always bug me. I'm starting over. I won't destroy this copy just in case. You never know what it will turn in to.

I've got 4 paintings on the go right now. I want to always have a few and work them simultaneously. Sometimes if you get hung up on one for a bit, working on another helps you to mentally work out the problem on the first. If you stop working on anything all together you stay hung up. At least in my experience.

Mr. Hunter - Line Drawing

I'm using black Stonehenge for this drawing.

At this stage I've taken the line drawing that I've done and put it on a piece of white transfer paper with the chalky side facing down onto the black Stonehenge paper. I then use a coloured pencil and lightly trace over the lines of my line drawing. Why a coloured pencil? So you can see where you've already traced on your graphite drawing. You don't want to press hard or you will score the paper making the drawing more difficult to work.

You will then need to erase the chalk lines as you start colouring so that no chalk remains. If you use coloured pencil on chalk it may lift at some point and remove parts of your painting.

It's challenging working on black paper. The coloured pencils don't show the same way as they do on white and you have to find what works. It helps to take a scrap piece of black and try different colours to see what they will turn into when put down on the black.

It also helps to remember that when you spray the painting with a workable fixative when you are done that the painting will probably darken. If you have used colours that aren't light enough they may not show up on your painting once it's sprayed.

I Smell A New Painting Coming On.......

Here's 4 of 4 with her new best friend. I've always wanted a pet tarantula. Mr. P. won't let me get one so I won't let him kill the little fellows you find around the house. A house isn't a home without spiders. They keep away the nasty things.


I got to hold hands with Annabelle the alligator today. 1 of 4 wanted a pet alligator until she found out that captive gators feed on rats. She's not lovin' them as much now.

Two Days Later

OUCH! When does the hurting stop. More importantly.....when does the mocking stop?

Lesson in Safe Scootering

1 of 4 wanted to go scootering without a helmet.

1 of 4 had a serious skiing accident a couple of years ago that required surgery, a cast and weeks of physio to recuperate. I thought reminding her of that incident would assist her in seeing the necessity of proper safety equipment when performing sports. She didn't buy it.

I, being the fabulous mother that I am, decided to show her what would happen when you used a scooter without a helmet. It wasn't pretty. I had to hit the mud filled crack dead on at racing speed on a downhill pitch, which I did. I then had to make the scooter come to a dead stop so that I could fly over the handle bars, which I did. I then needed to take a couple of running steps to show that one could not indeed catch their balance when going at that speed, which I did. I then had to show her that you will fall on first your left knee, ripping it to shreds, on your right palm, and left side of your face, which I did. I then had to describe the intense immediate headache, pain from the scrapes while lying on the ground moaning wondering if your ipod has broken or has just shut down due to the shock of the hit, which I did. Don't worry, it wasn't broken. I was.

On the way past that spot again later she looks up at me with her mocking 13 year old voice and says,
"Does this place bring back fond memories?"
BRAT!

What did I learn?:
*40 year olds shouldn't ride a scooter without a helmet
*40 year olds shouldn't ride a scooter at all

What did she learn?
*Not a damn thing!

What should I do next? I have many wonderful photos but none that jump out at me. Not that much would get done during March break anyways. I like to have at least one on the go.

I attended another coloured pencil workshop at Allison Fagan's studio. It was an open studio workshop of sorts. I got pointers on completing the water on the girl on the beach painting. There is always that one I guess.

2 of 4 is currently enrolled at the OSA. She is loving taking full time art classes. She finds it tougher than school but more rewarding too!

I went to pick 2 of 4 up yesterday at the end of the day. I went into the classroom and was looking at the conte drawings pinned to the wall. I scanned through them all trying to pick out the one I believed to be hers based on her style. I choose one, but my eye was drawn back continually to one other one. I was thinking to myself that the kid that drew that did an amazing job. It was an impressive and complex work. Beautifully done. Why the heck can't my kid draw like that!!!;-) Turns out IT was hers. I wouldn't have guessed it. I was impressed. She's come a long way in just a day.

Hopefully this one will be done within the next day or two. A bit harder to complete with March break in full swing.

Well I have to take back part of one of my previous rants. The individual that was trying to get a meeting with John Baird our MP, finally did. Hopefully now it will make a difference. The city still sucks, but maybe not quite as much as it did the week before last.

It Cost How Much????

I keep reading about how cost effective coloured pencil art is. That may be true in comparison to other forms, but I must say it's still not a cheap way to express yourself. I had a neighbour comment on how it was a nice little past-time and another provide me with a suggested price for my work. He though $100 dollars would be fair. Here's a quick look at the cost of doing a coloured pencil drawing in case you should feel the desire to get into this form of art.

Starter kit of Prismacolor pencils (24 set): approx $33
If you want the whole set of 120 pencils you're going to pay up to $239 depending what you choose.
Open stock pencils (which I buy) $1.60 + tax per pencil. (prismacolor)
Other brands are generally a bit more. Some are over $2 and I frequently use Faber-Castell brand as well.
Stonehenge paper: $2.50 to $12 depending on the size of paper you want. Per sheet.
Electric eraser: $79 to start. $10 for the re-fill box of erasers
Electric sharpener (trust me....there is no other way!) $40ish You really do need a good one.
Kneeded erasers $1.39 (these last quite a while though)
White plastic eraser: $1.00

Don't forget to add the tax on all the above items!

Subject: Then there's the cost of the photography. A good digital camera is the cheapest way to go because you don't have to first develop the film to see your pictures. I generally take about 100 photos to start of a subject if I can. Walmart develops for approx. $0.19 a picture. If you want enlargements they are $2 to $3. I work from 8x10's so I can see the small details of a subject.

You need an art desk (drafting table) and stool: $100 to $300 depending what you want.

Lighting: $30 per lamp

Something to hold your pencils on.

Framing: Time to mortgage your home or sell your children;-) On average for a 20x26 portrait done professionally with a double matt you are looking at approx $230 to $300 more or less depending on the frame you choose. For a small drawing with an inexpensive frame and single matt I've paid $79 + tax.

So, since I don't actually need to purchase everything every time what is the actual cost?

The example I will use is the painting called "Looking for Her Prince." The young girl holding a frog.

This picture had a solid blue background. It took 5 layers of colour and 6 hours to get it that way. (The final layer is done using a method called "scumbling" which is very time consuming.) It took 2.5 pencils to do this section alone. I would have went through a couple of brown, and peach pencils as well. The rest would have used up approx. a quarter to 3/4 of other colours. I use about 30 to 50 different colours in one painting. (If I use grey....there are 18 different prismacolor grey shades.) In her hair alone I've used probably 15 different colours.

You then have to look at the time factor. I've sped up of late, but even the fastest coloured pencil artist is still going to take 20 to 40 hours for a painting this size. The more detail the more time. What would you expect to get paid for a 40 hour work week? Would you work a whole week, full-time for $100 excluding the cost of supplies? Probably not.

Here's the one I'm working on now. I am finding the texture of the paper difficult to work with since I'm working on the rougher side of the "Stonehenge" paper as well as issues in working with wax, clay and oil based pencils all together. I suppose the challenges are what make the work interesting. It just takes longer to complete a painting.

White Mocha and Kat Von D

Here's Kat Von D trying to talk White Mocha into a tattoo;-)

There are days where I actually do stay home and work around the house, on my art, or volunteer at the kids school. Today wasn't one of them.

Although I've never actually seen her show, I knew Kat Von D was coming into town to do a book signing and asked White Mocha if she felt like using public transit to get downtown to wait in line for eons to attend the book signing of a tattoo artist. I didn't actually think she'd say yes! We went, it was fun to ride a bus again like common folk, something neither of us do unless completely necessary;-) We did a tour of the art school and I signed up for my next course. So I guess technically it was a work related trip.

I didn't actually get a book. I guess I just wanted to see what someone looks like who actually gets paid big money to create art and who gets to draw on people for a living. I'm jealous.

Well I sent a kindly worded comment through the home page of the local city councillor for this ward, Alex Cullen. If you want to tell him anything here's his page:

http://www.alexcullen.ca/

Maybe you can let this person know that he needs to tone it down during these tough times when people are struggling. Footbridges and atheistic signage aren't worth discussion time with the current state of the economy. Fix roads, water, sewers and garbage pick up, keeping your nose out of where it doesn't belong. Find ways to lower taxes not increase them.

A funny story about Mr. P's cousin. He is a dead ringer for Mayor Larry. When he gets into a cab they greet his as Mr. Mayor. He was in a bar when two city employees walked in. They quickly turned and left and went to change out of their uniforms before returning. They later introduced themselves and said they did indeed think he was the mayor and didn't want to get caught in the place during working hours by him. Although I don't wish that I looked like the mayor I think that if I did I would use it to my advantage to get stuff done in this city. How cool would that be!

Mr. John Baird our local MP sent out more mail yet again today asking for comments. Funny thing is that I know of someone trying to get 5 minutes with him for about a month now and he doesn't have the time to spare. He's much to important to deal with the constituents directly. A busy guy like that can't talk to everyone who wants to speak with him. Mail him instead. I'm sure the letter box is right over the garbage can where he receives all his suggestions and comments.

After literally years of convincing people that they need to get out and vote if they want to see change I have decided that the people who don't vote are right after all. I'm done with voting. I will make an exception however for the local city politics. I want Alex Cullen out so bad I'll vote for my garbage can if it will boot his ass to the curb. I hope he runs for mayor as the rumours suggest. Then I hope he loses big time.

Today was my naked people class. My favourite model was working today. He's an older gentleman who is is top physical form. His muscles are quite defined and he holds a pose well without complaint.

It's no secret that I find drawing from live models extremely difficult. Usually I'm pretty much burnt out by the end of the morning. Today though, I could have kept on going. Not that I found it any easier, just that my focus was a bit better once I got into it. Maybe in part the weather was a help as well. It's warming up and the vendors are back out along the market selling their goods. They're about the only ones left with jobs in this city. I wonder what I could sell on the street;-)

There was a feeling of sadness looking down the street towards the AChannel media building. They let 30 people go yesterday and canceled the 6pm and 11pm news casts. I hear that the CBC may be next. More Nortel employees were let go again this week. Are there any actually left working for the company? I only know of a small few. That is if they haven't been let go in the last few hours;-)

Tax bills came out this week. Apparently we can afford the increase and want to spend it on frivilous things such as footbridges and expensive transit expansions. The road repairs, toxic waste and sewage spilling into the river (our drinking water source) aren't all that important.

I would like to personally pay for a ticket for my council member, Alex Cullen, to go to the moon. One way. Since he thinks an increase in taxes is a good idea during difficult times, maybe he would like to pay mine. You know.....I think I'm going to just send him an e-mail telling him just that.

I lived through a big and nasty flu. I haven't been that sick in years. After being bedridden for a few days I'm stir crazy. Unfortunately it's minus a gazillion degrees out and outside is as unwelcoming as inside.

I was on my way home after picking up 2 of 4 at a party on Sunday. I found myself driving in Adventurers neighbourhood and decided to detour one street over to drive past her house. When 2 of 4 inquired about the quick turn I just said I missed her. It was nice to just drive by. She feeds my artistic monster who is a little famished of late. Her whole neighbourhood oozes artistic energy as does the adjoining one which is know for that. The only thing missing was warmth. Nothing inspires like a walk on a warm Spring evening though the heart of this artisic oasiss. There's even statuary to decorate should the mood find you.

I'm not going to post the pictures from this weeks art class. I was starting a nasty bug and wasn't in top form to start. Yes, I'm one of those jackass' that goes out sick to spread the love. I wasn't going to be up close to anyone so I thought they'd all be safe. The second reason they didn't turn out I believe was that my brain was terribly confused. We all have bad art days, but with other external influences added on to a bad day things just tend to snowball.

Wednesday was "female shoulder girdle" class. We were to focus on that area of her body the most while creating the drawings. Her poses would accentuate this area of her body.

She walked in the room. Tall, over 6' I'd say. Extremely long and lank. She is a model as well as a nude model. A dancer and I believe possibly a contortionist. She did her stretching exercises prior to the class. For this she undressed the upper half of her body. I've never seen a model stretch before posing and I was impressed. This seemed like a sensible thing to do! She walked around with absolutely no shame whatsoever. Like a naked babe playing in the pool, she would go in front of the door, window without concern.

Her face was beautiful. Flowing burgundy hair, manicured nails, deep voice, small hips, small breasts.....you know where I'm going with this by now don't you. She completed the disrobing process and yes, she still had some male parts.

No matter how hard I tried the images were very masculine. I finally settled in the last drawing to something in between. Her limbs were so long and slim, with large hands and feet that it was hard not to capture her masculine features and accentuate them.

I brought the drawing home and asked each family member whether they thought it was a boy or girl. There were no breasts or genitals showing in the drawing. Two said girl and two said boy. 3 of 4 who is 9 years old said,
"I think that person is both."

There is the next artist in the family!

I've started hanging some of the exercises from my art class in the basement. I spend a half a day a week at the art school. (hey, shut up! I'm new at this.) We have a live model for each weekly class. I'm hoping they will inspire me to actually take some time to draw similar style drawings from a program I purchased which provides like models. (I refuse to use the correct name "n*de", as it seems to bring all sorts of crazies to the site. Okay, other than the regular crazies I mean.)

One of the models is shown in the accompanying book looks like a clone of one of my brothers-in-law. At least, as far as his less personal areas that I am familiar with. I don't know about the rest. No offense, but I don't want to see the rest and I think I may just skip that particular model.

Mr. P. asked me if they should be hanging where the kids can see them. Normally I'd say he was right, but with all of the art books around and me explaining about the beauty of the human body in art I'd be a hypocrite to hide them. I have however covered the models dangly bits to post here as to not offend any readers sensibilities. If I wanted to properly cover him I guess I should probably have used two sticky notes.

Freedom And All Her Perks

I've spent more time either skating or watching skating of late than I have in many years. By watching skating I mean I attend the skating events held at the rink across the street from the kids school. They require a certain number of parents to tie skates and stand around looking like they actually are concerned for the kids welfare and are therefore keeping track of them. They do this once a week, which translates into 3/4 of the day for me since I have 3 at that school.

I had to laugh last week when young Freedom was being reprimanded by the teacher for knocking down another student. She just shrugged her shoulders and skated on. Now names have been becoming very unusual in the last few years and I kind of thought that Freedom was an odd name to choose for a child. Kind of Hollywood, like choosing Apple, or Moon Unit or other such bizzare choices. As it turns out, Freedom was a pretty good fit for this kid.

The next pass around the rink Freedom skated like a roller derby queen at break neck speed and took down a fellow student yet again. The perplexed teacher pulled her aside again and asked why she was being so inconsiderate of other skaters. Freedom simply replied,
"That's how I stop. I don't know how to stop any other way."
"But you'll hurt the other children. You have to slow down and learn how to stop without using them as a cushion." the teacher instructed.

Now, I didn't actually see what happened next, but a small group had gathered around a hurt child sitting wailing on the ice with a guilty looking Freedom standing at her side telling the teacher,
"I didn't do it!"

I guess with a name like Freedom, you are free to do pretty much anything you want.

Hooker's Beavertails

We managed to get out and skate on the canal again for Winterlude. Of course, when you have children the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a Beavertail at the end of the skate, with hot chocolate of course. Even Ms. Vicki managed to get something out of it. We picked her up a pin since she couldn't make it.

President Obama caused quite a stir when he insisted on shopping on the By-ward market when he was in town last week. He also requested a Beavertail and got an Obamatail. I don't imagine he actually ate it. He doesn't look like a fried pastry kind of guy. He doesn't know what he's missing. They taste best when served right away. Now that I'm not so young, I also don't need to eat them anymore but can enjoy them vicariously through my kids. They don't get the Obamatails though. Just sugar and cinnamon. Somehow whipped cream just seems so wrong.

This Means War

"Does your daughter have a high sugar diet?" he firmly asks.
"No!" I answer in kind
"Does she drink juice?" he queries.
"Yes, but only at breakfast and then she brushes her teeth right after." I say with a sigh.
"Does she eat bread?" He shoots back.
I just stand there with my mouth agape and reply, "uh, YA! She eats sandwiches for lunch at school."
"Well you know, bread is carbohydrate which causes tooth decay!" the dentist reminds me.

"And your eyeglasses are weakening your sight with each passing year so you may eventually be blind, so maybe you should stop looking at things." Okay, I didn't actually say that but.... MORON! Beets, corn, carrots, fruit....what, should we give those up too? How about spinach!!!? Maybe a piece will get stuck in her teeth and sit a little too long and cause some bacteria to built weakening the enamel. Maybe she should stop eating those too! Maybe we should all stop eating everything except cheese and sugarless gum. Then we can all go around with with a beautiful smile and chronic constipation! IDIOT! High fibre bread may be a carb, but it's also a, HELLO, part of a healthy food group.

I can't believe these people. I shouldn't have gone back. I did the responsible thing and went to have a cavity filled. I put up with the morons lecture. I even made up with the insulting hygienist. I bit my tongue and went to take a seat in the waiting room as he filled her tooth. I wasn't prepared for what came next!

"......he was 9 years old. It was unbelievable! If I was her I would be HIGHLY ashamed of the state of his teeth!" said a different hygienist from one of their other offices quite loudly.

What happened next was great. Apparently the wrath they suffered from me after my last visit was still sitting uncomfortably with them. The two receptionists froze and visibly stiffened. Next all I could hear were whispers. Lots and lots of whispering. The visiting hygienist left, but not before sending me a look laden with daggers as she passed by. I gave back what she dished out.

"......well, Mr. Monster tongue needs to come back for another appointment......" the dentist joked with the staff. Unfortunately Mr. Monster tongue had just left and wasn't there to hear his new pet name.

I was cordial with the receptionist. She had been the one to deal with my complaint after the last visit. She had not actually been there the day I had the rant, but called me the next to get my affairs in order. I told her then I would be looking for a new dental office. I made the mistake of going back because the work needed to be done before the end of the month. I think now I'll need to fire off a letter to the owner of the office. He doesn't actually work there and probably doesn't care, but just in case he does.

I understand that workplace conversations happen, but one should always be aware of how you act in front of customers. You are representing the business and breaching confidentiality isn't a good way to keep customers.

I'm sure they had a fine laugh after my rant the other day.

I Apologize Profusely .....

.....but I just have to rant or I'm going to have a stroke or something.

Today was the glorious day that I had to bring 2 and 4 of 4 for their semi-annual dental check-up. It was also a new hygienist. This office changes staff like some people change underwear so I wasn't overly surprised to see someone new.

After 4 of 4's cleaning I was called before the dental hygienist. She has always had perfect teeth up until now. The conversation went something like this:

"Ms. Chocoholic, I did the cleaning and found there may be "cavities" in your daughters mouth." she pretty much whispered this.

"Uh Huh...." I replied suspiciously.

"I also found lots of plaque and some ..... [gasp] tartar!!!!" she said wide eyed.

"Okay....." I again replied

"She is going to need to start flossing!!! You know, floss. Do you know how to use floss Ms. Chocoholic?" she asked in her most serious condescending voice. "....and she should be using a toothbrush for kids. One with a smaller head, not an adult one! .....and you're going to have to brush them for her."

"I'm 43 friggin' years old. Do you think I've been living on the blasted moon?! Do I look like I've just arrived from a flippin' third world country? Maybe I just fell off the turnip truck!!!! D'uh...what's floss? Do you use it to get the toe jam out from between your toes?! They make toothbrushes for kids? Reallllly? I thought you didn't have to clean your teeth until you hit 40. MORON! I THINK I DAMN WELL KNOW WHAT DENTAL FLOSS IS AND I EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE IT. And we actually have childrens floss and brushes and rubber tip stimulators and sulca brushes, not to mention the blue dye that shows them any spots they've missed so they can brush again. One of the kids actually has an electric toothbrush that sings a Hannah Montana song for two LLLLLLONG minutes each time she brushes her teeth!!!? And since I'm supposed to brush her teeth, ya want I should wipe her little bottom too when she goes for a poopie?" Okay, I didn't acutally say this but ruminated all the way home. I meekly replied,

"Yes, we even have the special little flossing sticks for the kids and each child does have a child's toothbrush not an adult one." I said as I turned and left the room.

Then 2 of 4 went in. I braced myself. Out of all four of our kids she is the only one who has had cavities. Or at least was. We have a horrible time cleaning her teeth for some reason, but do just the same.

At then end of her appointment I heard her tell the receptionist we'd be setting up their next appointments earlier than previously scheduled once she talked to "the mother."

"Ms. Chocoholic, 2 of 4 has terrible plaque deposits on her teeth." she says in her sternest, you suck at parenting voice.

"It's an ongoing issue, but she does brush and I help her occasionally to cull the problem, but I don't expect that will change. No matter what we do there are always issues." I'm biting my tongue. I am behaving.

"Well, maybe you could start brushing her teeth for her, at least once a week." she glared while she said this.

"I do help her scrape off plaque, but the crazy stuff just keeps acomin' back!" I tried to stay calm as I replied.

"Well I have an 11 year old and I even still brush their teeth! We have lots of other kids in here who have perfect teeth and have no plaque whatsoever....." she says turning away as to not meet my eye. She must have seen the spark ignite and decided she wanted to see the fireworks, just not be blinded by them!

"I am not brushing my 11 year olds teeth. I will help her, but I WILL NOT BRUSH HER TEETH! She can brush them herself with my occasional assistance or she can GET FRIGGING DENTURES WHEN THEY ALL FALL OUT!!! WHATEVER!!!!" I did say this just before I stomped away.

Our last dentist was extremely pleased with my children's dental hygeine. He had said that they'd have their teeth forever, except that 2 of 4 did have softer teeth. Sadly he couldn't continue on as their dentist.

I was already looking at changing their dentist. Mr. P. thought they seemed to always be looking for something to fill, or do beyond the normal. Their offices always seem quiet and it makes me wonder if they are lacking in a customer base and therefore going that extra mile to make money.

Sadly, I'm sure that she is a wonderful hygienist and seems very nice. I don't like being treated like I'm an imbicile and if I wanted a lecture I'd just call my mother (Just joking MOM!)

If you read through this thinking it was the next step in the coloured pencil painting, well, I'll try to get to that in the next couple of days.

Ms. Vicki

Well Hello again Darlings!

We've made it back safely although not quite uneventfully. Here I am at the beach. Were you to see a current photo of me you would note that I adorn not the expected one pin, but two!

We had almost landed on the runway when at the very last minute the pilot pulled up quite sharply and whisked us off to another city. Apparently the runway was not at all safe to land on with an unexpected snow storm that made a slippery mess of the runway. We were halfway to Toronto before we even knew what was going on. Oh well, we managed to catch the next flight home and I am even further decorated than was planned.

Until next time,

Ms. Vicki Stripes
Hugs & Kisses
xoxoxoxo

Day 7 - Sit! Good Hippo.

Yet another ham at Busch Gardens. This hippo loved the attention and stayed glued to the glass when we were mulling around the area.

Last day in Florida we decided to spend at Busch in the overcast but warm weather. There were about 5 other people in the park aside from the staff. Once the rain came there was no one left but us. There were no line-ups for rides even before the rain came later this afternoon and they'd start up rides for us. What a way to enjoy the park!

Please don't make me go home to the snow!

Day 6 - Yes, We Are Canadian!

In my defense, it made it up to 81 F today. This evening the kids wanted to swim and although we discouraged them due to the temperature of the pool, they thought it was okay. We had after all been swimming in the ocean just today. We passed by a gentleman on the way to the pool when he shook his head and laughed saying,

"Y'all must be Canadians!"

I have to say that even though it was 81 degrees, the Floridians were still dressed in pants and sweaters. I just would love to see them in the 30 cm of snow we supposedly had gotten in the city I previously lived in, today.

Day 5 - See World

As I suspected....feeding these fellows by hand annoys the heck out of the other tourists, but they (the birds) weren't complaining.


This photo was taken at the dolphin nursery tank. The mother dolphins in the tank apparently teach the babies how to perform for the crowd. Amazingly this seems to be true. As soon as the people come around they start to jump and pop out of the water. Dolphins are such hams!


2 of 4 loves manitees. It's incredible how blue they look under water.

Day 6 - You Know How You Feel When ....

You know how you feel when you go to the beach at Clearwater and find a tresure trove of incredible shells and then decide that if theres good ones here there must be great ones just in the shallow surf and so you cautiously make your way out into the surf as to not make yourself wet and find you need to roll your shorts up a bit so they don't get splashed on and you see that perfect shell like the kind they sell in the store so you go out to pick it up and a wave comes and wets the bottom of your pants so you jump back but it's too late and you get a bit wet and have missed your shell so you try again and the next time you reach down to pick it up a hugenormous wave sweeps over your entire being and you get a mouthfull of sea water as well as completely and absolutely wet from the top of your head to your salty feet so you think what the heck and wade around in the water in ....HELLO! January.....and find more albiet less incredible shells that will fill a grocery bag along with sponges and silver dollars when suddenly it's time to go and you get in the car and drive home wet because you weren't actually planning to get wet so you didn't bring your bathing suit and you make the car smell like dead fish because you do and then you get home into the shower but can't seem to get the feeling of the salt water off your skin or hair? YUCK! But a whole heck of a lot of fun. That was me this morning.
P.S. Thank you to Mr. P. for taking so many lovely pictures of my large bent over A**. Very nice.

Day 4 - I've Lost My Passport - AM

It's 71 degrees right now. My skin is starting to change colour matching me to the natives a bit more closely than last week. I can see by the current temperature in the city where I have previously (up until last week) lived that it is -20 celcius. I don't know what that is in fahrenheit and I don't care!

I seem to have lost my passport, too bad....so sad. I'm all broken up about it. (snicker) Okay, maybe I haven't actually lost it permanently. I'm sure it will turn up by April when it starts to get uncomforably hot here. Maybe May when the weather gets nice again back home. I sure hope that White Mocha is enjoying Mr. Hunter's company! He may be there for a few more weeks, months or possibly longer.

Day 3 - No More Free Beer Ever Again

After today Busch Gardens will no longer supply the two free beer to all of it's visitors. (Age allowing.) They have been taken over and may not even offer beer at a cost. Not that I care. Since this was the last day ever, I decided to have one. I have to say though....I hate beer. I actually don't drink anything alcoholic, but decided to partake this one time to celebrate their last day offering this putrid beverage. It was as horrible as usual and I unfortunately chose the most disgusting type on the list. I was very thankful that I didn't go on this ride with the rest of the group after having said beer. Even though I only drank about a quarter of the glass I'm sure it would have come back to haunt me if I had. After all....you wouldn't shake a beer bottle and expect the beverage to stay inside.

I think I may have found my next subject for a painting. This fellow was also quite a poser once he warmed up to me.

The only problem with allowing Lorry birds to land on you is what goes in must come out. Unfortunately for 3 of 4 it came out all over her shirt. Apparently 1 of 4 tastes as good as the nectar drink because the bird spent as much time licking her as it did the sweet fluid.

The first time I saw one of these birds this week I got terribly excited and thought I had found something special. It's about as special as pigeons or seagulls hanging around our local fast food joint. They are everywhere and not a bit afraid of people. The crazy things pose for you!

Day 2 - Blood Pressure, Beach and BBQ

Last evening we ended the day with a shuffle through the neighbourhood. I'm not used to moving that slowly usually, but I didn't want to stand out by walking too fast. We were already an odditiy having left the condo without either a cane or walker.

We got up this morning and all took turns taking out blood pressure. (I kid you not!) Mine was 99/64. If it goes any lower I fear I may slip into a coma. Luckily I was able to raise it slightly with the approach of an extremely rude man in the grocery store who told me to go read in the library when I was browsing through the magazines in the magazine aisle. Apparently I was in his way and that was a more appropriate way to ask me to move than using the word please. I wished him a happy morning because I had a non-fat, no whip, extra hot Starbucks coffee in my hand that I was enjoying more than I had enjoyed a coffee in a very long time. He's lucky! Had I not yet had my coffee the outcome may have been totally different!

We went to the sponge docks and then to Sunset beach. I don't expect there is a theme park out there that can compete with the beach, in my books anyways! We chased hermit crabs, regular crabs, watched minnows of some sort darting along the shore. We picked up small shells and rocks.

The birds tried to steal the kids socks that were tucked in their shoes on the shore. I'm not sure what the draw was, but apparently they were interesting but not worth actually flying away with. I think I read somewhere that birds couldn't smell very well. That's the only way other than the birds being mentally challenged that they would consider stealing someones stinky socks.

The water was warm along the shore. Even the Floridians had left their neck warmers at home. I was suprised by the lack of people that were around everywhere I went. It was such a quiet day.

We were invited to a BBQ for supper at the home of a family friend. It was a lovely day.

Day One - All Sun, No Fun

Thank God! We arrived safely but unfortunately the kids are still suffering from the same disorder here that they do at home. Fighting.

You'd think that the thrill of air travel for first time would over ride their instinctual drive to quarrel, but apparently not. They fought over,seats, glances, food,places in line-ups and everything else they could find. The one exception was 4 of 4. She was easy to get along with. Well, she was until she decided she was ready to dissembark the plane.....a half hour before it landed. I can't blame her though. I was ready to get off before the plane even left the airport.

When we got to the car rental joint I had to laugh. The fellow behind the counter.....the INDOOR counter was wearing a coat and neck warmer over his suit. Apparently 65 degrees is frigid and requires winter attire. You can tell who's a native Floridian and who's a Northerner. We were all in t-shirts complaining of the brightness of the sun and they are tanned and bundled up like mummies.

Perp's Mom: "That's an ugly sweater! I'm going to buy you a new one."
Me: "No. I like this sweater. It looks nice and it's my absolute favourite in the whole wide world."
Perp's Mom: "I don't care. I hate that sweater. You're getting a new one!"
Me: "This is a nice, respectable sweater. It is warm, soft and I love this sweater!! I don't want one like you have on. It's ugly!"
Perp's Mom: "I won't buy you one like mine, buy I am getting you one."
Me: "Why would you buy something I don't want and have no intention of wearing?!"
Perp''s Mom: "I'm still getting you one."
Me: "I WON'T WEAR IT! DON'T BUY ME CLOTHES. I DON'T WANT YOU TO BUY ME CLOTHES. WHEN YOU BUY ME CLOTHES I NEVER WEAR THEM!!!"
Perp's Mom: "I'm buying you a sweater. One that looks better than that old thing!"

Oh crap! What are we doing? I'm going to spend a week with my parents.

One more sleep until we travel. Since we've decided we don't like the mouse, why go to Florida at all! We're going to stay in the Famous American City that I believe is headquarters for OPE. Since Kurt so graciously denied our request to stay at his house invited, we'll just show up. If I'm right about the city, then I'm sure someone there can tell me where he lives. We'll just ask around on the street. If they don't know him then someone will at least know Todd. I'll print their pictures off of the OPE blog. It's all good, good! See you tomorrow Kurt. We'll be there for supper, so plan something elaborate. Your paying.

I had a Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle that were good at "just showing up!" They would sometimes call, or drop by. More often than not their mail would start to arrive before they would. That's how you knew to expect them. They'd stay for a short visit. You know.....3 to 6 months before the relative they were staying with could take no more and would kick them out. They'd have their mail forwarded to the next hosts house and move along. Saves on rent!

I packed up the dog bed and Mr. Hunter's favorite stuffed toy and brought it to White Mocha's house. Mr. Hunter did not look pleased. In fact, he looked down right panicked! He did not quite understand why he had to leave his ducky there. I know he will be excited when she comes to release him from his prison tomorrow. Especially because she plies him with treats! I don't expect he'll miss us much with the exception of at bedtime. She is under the impression that he won't try to sleep in her bed because of it's exaggerated height. LOL! That's funny! Opps! Hope she doesn't read this until after we're gone.

I want to thank White-Mocha for also caring for the rats, fish and mail. Bus driver Dave down the street will care for our snow accumulation (or hopefully lack there of!) It's kind of funny when you think about it. Someone having to come into our house to feed vermin. In some places they trap them but here we pamper them.

Only two more sleeps until I get to be enveloped in warmth and sunshine! Even if it lands up being cool and rainy their cool is still warmer and their rain is still sunnier than here! I've had enough of -20 to -40!

I have such smart kids. We had a family discussion and decided we collectively hate the famous place that the mouse lives and don't want to go there! Yipppeeeee! Thank God that they aren't falling into that commercial trap!

We went to purchase our American dollars. Ouch! The Canadian one took a dive again this morning. Why couldn't it have stayed at par until after our vacation?!!!!

I hate flying, say a prayer for us! Hopefully we will remain bird free for our flight.

Step 2 - Create Your Map and Base Drawing

Map Drawing

Now that you have your most beautiful drawing, time to turn it into a map.

Take the drawing you did, (it matters not how you got it on to the paper originally, just remember to fix the distortions that may have occurred prior to step 2!) and transfer your drawing onto a piece of tracing paper in pencil (remember, high quality) and then create the outline on the tracing paper with the black marker. By not using the marker on your actual original sketch, you will save it in case you are not happy with the tracing and can use the original to create a new tracing.

As you can see, the actual outlined copy on tracing paper is not pristine. It's all crumpled and I actually accidentally ripped it. Just make sure that you keep your original in good shape in case you require it again.

You may have noticed that I have circles and lines in odd places. This is how I mark where I want a highlight to appear, or where shading may begin. These are all just place markers. It helps to identify approximately where I want things to appear on the work.

This is a good time to talk about paper.

If you choose a light coloured paper: (Not recommended for this picture)

For this step you will be transferring the outline you have created (what I called map) to a fabulously magnificent quality of paper. Most coloured pencil artists I know use "Stonehenge" more than any other types.

Another fair paper is "Bristol", Vellum (not smooth!)

If you purchase Stonehenge it will come in a large individual sheet. Just cut it to the correct size you want and save the rest for your next masterpiece.

Stonehenge comes in various shades. Pick the whitest. Bristol comes in pads. Stonehenge has more "tooth" to the paper and will hold more colour. Very sturdy!

Now you need a light box if you are working on white paper. You can use a window, or lightbox.

Place your "map" copy under the quality paper and VERY lightly outline the map on to your good paper. Every line you put on your good paper will eventually be erased as you replace it with colour. You don't want to score the page with the pencil line either. It will show if you do when you put the colour down.

Congratulations! You have now completed Step 2.

If you are smart and choose a black paper:

Okay. Here's the monkey wrench! I'm going to use black paper. That way I will save on pencil by not having to thickly lay on black since I'm working on a work that is primarily black. For this you will need a piece of white transfer paper. This is the equivalent of carbon paper, only in a white chalky substance. You can also make your own by saturating a piece of paper with white chalk or purchase it a Wallacks for a rather exorbitant price.

Take your "map" drawing and place it on top of the white chalk transfer paper and place them on top of the Stonehenge black paper.

Now use a coloured pencil to gently outline the "map" drawing so that the white chalk will transfer the the good quality black paper. It's important to use a different colour than black pencil when tracing over the lines on your map so that you will know which ones you've already traced over.

Once it's done you should have a white outline of your "map" drawing on the black paper. Before actually colouring with your coloured pencils, you will erase the white chalk marks with a kneaded eraser. But that's all part of the next step!

See you in a couple of weeks (God willing!) for Step 3.

Raspberries to Arrogant People

I'm in pain. A great deal of mental pain right now. I have an addiction and I'm going through withdrawl!

I listened to the news tonight. Just a few minutes. A smidgen really. Not long. Just long enough to get angry. I want to vent so badly! I'm not going to vent. Nope. Not even a bit. No. NOOOO! Okay. Maybe just a little.

I'm not going to vent about the government, transit strike, Canadian dollar....or lack of value as the case may be. I'm just going to say I have a problem liking arrogant people. You know the ones. Confident, pleasant and find a way to tell you what they really think of you without you actually realizing that they've put you down until you walk away and think about it. Sometimes they do this with words and sometimes with their actions. I got both. If I were to tell you the situation you may say I was just being "sensitive." I don't think so though. To the person who has annoyed me....thppppttt! I send you a big ole' raspberry! If you are reading this wondering if you are this person. If you find you are even a little bit concerned that you may be this person....then you're not. This person doesn't really care because they are too important to have to care. The nice thing about being me is I don't ever have to see this person again if I don't want to. And guess what. I don't!

Phew! I feel better.

-40 is -40

.....to clarify:

the celsius and fahrenheit scale converge at minus 40. So -40 Celsius is -40 Fahrenheit. -20 celsius is -4 fahrenheit.

Hey, the beers finally cold, eh! (Canadian)
Damn Canadian cold fronts, huh! (American)

It's been between -20 and -40c here. Since I couldn't spray my toad painting outside I had to use our furnace room to do it. I opened the window for ventilation and got to work. It wasn't too bad at first, but after a while the flying snakes started to swarm around making it difficult to spray the painting without spraying them. Eventually it got done.

I started another portrait, or two, or three after a I took a couple of Advil. I had a headache for some strange reason. I'm having a hard time settling down to work at something new. I haven't found that perfect picture that I have a great drive to create. Well, actually I do have one, but not something I can post the progress of as with many of the portraits of other peoples kids that I do. Flowers are beautiful but just don't grab my interest right now. You'd think I'd learn theres a down to every up after the completion of a work.

I brought it to the framer. I don't have the same sense of satisfaction I often feel. I guess I need to get something back framed to feel the excitement about the next one. I'm still awaiting the return of the previous one as well.

I'm partially completed step 2 of the next part of my coloured pencil demonstration for this blog. I'll try to post it later today.

All Done?

All Done! No wait....I think....what if I just tweaked the colours in the toad a bit and maybe the finger tips. Huh. No, I'm done.....I think......No! Yes! I'm definitely done....maybe.

Now on to self-doubt, loathing, head banging, acceptance, self-loathing again then frame it. I know, I know....we're all the same.

For those of you who are saying to me and yourself, "but I can't draw, whimper, whimper, whine!" Yes you can!

There are many ways to get your subject down on paper. Here are some of the ways:

1.) You can trace it. Usually you will want to actually work from a photo and not the live model as I have pictured here. The photo usually doesn't try to eat your work as it progresses. If you are going to do a direct tracing you should work from at least an 8x10 enlargement of your subject. Otherwise you will have a problem getting those wee itty bitty details I love so much as that make a painting photo-realistic.

If tracing is your method then go to your local art store and purchase a good quality tracing paper. The cheaper stuff is more opaque. You can use a light box or bright window to place your photo on to make it easier to trace.

2.) You can use a grid. This is a whole other method that is excellent, but time consuming to describe. If you are interested in this method leave me a comment and I'll explain about creating your grid and how to size the photo to the paper correctly and how to transfer the image. It's actually drawing using lines on your photo and drawing paper as guides. Similarly you can use a "picture plane."

3.) Even the masters used methods of projecting images onto canvasses. You can too by using an opaque projector or slides. If you use this method be aware that distortion is a real problem. You may have a lot of fixin' to do!

4.) My suggestion is just to draw the blasted thing! I concur with my various art instructors in that you must actually draw the image to bring life to it. My coloured pencil instructor would insist upon the long painful drawn out method of drawing the line drawing from scratch in front of her so there was no cheating! It generally took me longer to do a sketch than everyone else, but my paintings usually had more detail than everyone elses. So simple drawing or more complex, drawing it yourself is definately the best method out there!

You can draw from a live model or from a photograph. In coloured pencil work a photo is a wise choice! You will be looking at it for many hours and in much detail. It's hard to do this from a live model. You will continue to use the photo for a reference during the rendering process to assist you in matching colours, lighting, etc. Live models generally don't do well sitting still for 40 to 100 hours and would probably expect something silly like being paid for their work.

If you do work from a photo having a digital photo is better so you can make any small adjustments you may want. They also can be enlarged to larger sizes without loosing quality. You should work from at least an 8x10. You can work from smaller photos, but try not to choose one with a lot of detail if that is the case!

If you do use one of the other above methods you will need to fix any distortion that will occur in transferring the image. You would be surprised at how much distortion there is in your average photograph! You also won't improve your drawing skills if you trace everything! In my case the nude models tend to get a bit miffed If I get to close to their dangly bits with a sharp pencil in an attempt to trace them!

Which ever method you use, you need to get a basic line drawing down on a cheap piece of paper.

Whichever way you choose to get your picture down on paper, make sure you don't hold your pencil as you do when you are writing. This is something that I have not only read or had artists tell me, but have been taught at art school. Find a different way to hold your pencil so your left brain becomes confused and gives way to your right brain...the more creative side.

Once you are happy with the picture you have, it's time to put it on your good paper. We'll save that for the next time. I have some catching up to do before that step.

Having been told that if you use grey in your work it will muddy it up and make it look dirty, you think I'd keep that in mind. Noooo! I know better and had to try it anyhow. On the plus side, a kid holding a toad with dirty nails also did in fact have dirty hands from spending much of the previous couple of hours "frogging", so it's all good, good!

Hello Darlings,

Well Perp has finally decided it's a go! I get to enjoy the sumptuous sun and heat with the family! I may actually get to tour more extensively this time too! No more being stuck in the suitcase for me.

Visiting the temples in Korea were nice, but a beach is a little more suited to my taste.

See you when I get back!

Hugs and Kisses,

Vicki Stripes
xoxoxo

Rant

Oh.....there are some naughty people out there asking me to blog about certain happenings that they think are rant worthy! I've asked these individuals to please start their own blog so that they can be the angry ranting ones!

If you have a beef to pick with your government at any level, gas companies, drivers, manufacturers or other companies of any sort start up your own blog! I'm in my happy place and intend to stay there for the time being.

Only a couple of weeks until I go to soak in the sun! Ahhhhh! Kurt mentioned that Florida was a pit. Having been to Florida before, I have to agree, but with theme parks on the scarce side in Canada and when traveling with 4 children, Florida will do nicely. Especially when going to stay with relatives. On the other hand....were you to offer.... we'd gladly come and inhabit your lovely abode, albeit not as warm as Florida (if my guess as to where you live is correct), a vacation just the same. Are you offering?

Adventurer, I thank you for your offer of studio space. You have excellent lighting and a household and family atmosphere that I am absolutely addicted to! I will take you up on your offer, but only if you will include your photographic talents and you will let me paint one of two photos of CU2 you have shown me in the past. I would love to sit down and work on one while CU2 is there.

If you are waiting for the coloured pencil session to start, I'm getting to it. I have no excuse other than life, kids and the skating season has opened on the canal.

Peek-A-Boo

This is the painting I started before the Christmas break. Back at it. It's actually not too bad here, but if you are up close to the actual drawing you would notice that the dark area is cloudy and waxy looking. Wax bloom has set in after sitting for so long without being worked on. The two colours I have used to make the black are put on quite heavy, which also causes wax bloom. Wax bloom happens when wax based coloured pencils such as Prismacolor are used. The wax works it's way to the top of the painting while the pigment settles underneath. It can be fixed with a workable fixitive or burnished off with a cloth. The hand is better since there are wax, oil and clay based pencils used. No wax to bloom.

Want to learn to do a coloured pencil painting? Starting tomorrow I'll go through the process with you. All you need for the first step is an ordinary pencil, eraser and blank sheet of ordinary paper. Gather up your supplies and join me. Easy-schmeasy!

P.S. My left brain is constantly in a battle with my right. I find it hard to really settle down to work in my studio space. Can you say "cabin fever!" Anyone have a spot for me to draw? Table will do. I'm begging you now! Save me from my house!!!!!

Politically Correct

Anyone who reads this blog may notice that I've added "Feedjit" to my sidebar. I was curious about the number of readers and who they were. I have to say I thought there were maybe a very small number of people who actually checked out what was happening in my world. After all, what is family for;-) I was shocked to see the map start to light up in places like Scotland, Asia, Australia and multiple sites in the U.S. and across Canada. (I noticed that the Canadian map is suspiciously devoid of visitors from the middle provinces. I don't think anyone between Alberta and Ontario owns a computer.) Since there seem to be people who have happened upon my blog either accidentally or on purpose, (poor souls) I have a bit of a dilemma.

My daughter, Two of Four, asked me for two of my business cards this evening. Apparently she wanted to supply her teachers with my web site which happens to also have a link to my blog. Uh oh!!!!!!! Not only do I have to worry about offending persons from other countries, but now I may have to worry about persons who grade the work of my children! I'm going to have to improve my spelling and grammar! I hate that!!! It made me reflect upon past posts and think....is there anything there that I wouldn't want my Grandmother to read. That's usually a good indicator of readability. Wait, no, maybe not MY Grandmother, but a normal prim and proper Grandmother. Not a rockin', leather wearing 96 year old French Canadian babe grandmother.

I think I'm okay. At least for the last month. (I make no promises for posts before those!) It has made me realize though, that it may be time to tow the Canadian line and become more politically correct. So my goal for the new year is to be (and this is definitely NOT a New Years resolution):

a) Upbeat, positive and happy
b) More politically correct (actually, politically correct for the first time ever!)
c) Not use foul language, talk about unmentionables such as undergarments, and write of interesting body parts with their correct names.

That being said, I will start directly after the following post.

I was in the car sitting beside my Grandmother after having just visited the Hershey chocolate factory is Smiths Falls. (Curse that blasted company to H.E. double hockey sticks, now that they have closed and laid off an entire town's worth of workers!) Anyhow, this was when we still liked them before the closing of the plant and would still eat their chocolate. We were there pretty much every weekend, being a chocoholic and all. It was oh so close to our cottage how could I not?

Well I had a hankerin' for some chocolate (imagine that!) and I was thinking about Recess pieces and chocolate covered peanuts at the same time. Unfortunately! I turned to my Grandmother and asked her to pass me the Recess Penises. (I'm not sure what the plural of penis is or how it is spelled. Sorry!)

The car went silent. Then my Grandmother burst out in uproarious laughter. I turned beat red and sunk into my seat. Back a few years ago, I didn't see my Grandmother as anything but prim and proper and I was horrified that I had used the "P" word in front of her! That would surely be the end of it right? Nooooo!

Well Grandma went home and just about ran up to my step-Grandfather and blurted out my verbal blunder increasing my humiliation ten fold. He was a relatively new addition to the family having just become her husband at the tender age of 76ish. It didn't stop there. For many a years to come I had to hear about how I was going to the Hershey factory for Recess penises. I don't even like the blasted things. I'd rather just have nuts. Chocolate covered peanuts I mean.

Oh ya. One last thing. Big family vacation to Florida. Haven't decided if Vicki Stripes my traveling underwear will be coming or not. We'll see.

I will now start to be more politically correct, non-vulgar, and proper, blah, blah, blah.

FIN