Free Coloured Pencil Lesson - Part I - Line Drawing

You may notice I have been procrastinating with putting up the free coloured pencil lesson I promised. I was going to try and post the whole thing at once but find that a bit daunting and time consuming. (It might interfere with my Starbucks time!) So I'm breaking that part of my promise and going to do it in sections.

Part I:

You Will Need:

*scrap paper
*pencil

*eraser

*thin black marker

*prayer

*your dog

Draw the outline of an apple on a regular or scrap piece of paper. I've had people tell me they can't do this. Apples aren't any more perfect than the rest of us and come in many shapes and sizes. If it's not exactly the same as my photo don't worry, they'll both be equally as unedible in the end. Make sure it's the size you want the painting to be because this is the pattern for the good copy.

I drew my apple and wasn't happy with it. So now it's a dog toy.

Once you get a line drawing you are happy with and feel you can work from, use your black marker to outline all of the pencil marks. Make sure you also draw the line to indicate where you will put your shading and shadows as well as circling the area of the apple that will appear shiny and remain white.

You may have noticed the photo has 4 apple seed where I drew only three:-0

Artistically speaking, things show better in odd numbers. It's more aesthetically pleasing. However if you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and must have things in even numbers please feel free to add the additional seed.

Now I'll go fix my good rough copy and get ready for the next step.

Next time you will need:

*a pencil (preferrably a B)

*eraser

*"Stonehenge" or "Bristol" (vellum) or good quality paper with tooth. Canson Mi-tentes are okay, but have a bit too much tooth. White is the best but off-white will do. Natural colour is not good. You want your shiny highlights to be white without having to actually use a white pencil.

*low tack tape such as painters tape or other masking tape.

*More prayer

*a dog again....just in case.

*A window on preferably a sunny day. (No, really.....I'm serious!)

Free Coloured Pencil Lesson

Find yourself an apple and get ready to draw.

Good Bye Summer Vacation - Hello Sanity

Little Nasties

We got attacked. Bees. Bumbles. Big fat round bumble bees. I'm not sure what set them off. Four of Four and myself both got stung. Mr. P. was attacked but got the bee before she got him. They watched us through our windows once we retreated inside. I've never had a problem with bumble bees before. Maybe it's time to pave the garden.

Richard's Landing - St. Josephs Island

A very precise place

Turquoise water of Lake Huron

View from our cottage

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye .......

Time to head North for a bit. Like it hasn't been cold enough around here. Looks like we might actually miss the one nice week of summer in this city. Oh well. Adventures await.

About half done.....
Art School

Photography camp for One of Four

Picking up their sisters

Eyes

What the fight was about was not important. Kids One through Four had been fighting pretty much non-stop throughout the whole day. I was running out of ideas and decided to re-visit an old punishment that had worked for a while.

"Enough! Come here and stand in front of me!" I said in a now raspy voice.

"Apologize to each other and then think of one nice thing about your sister and tell her what it is that you like." I instructed.

3 minutes go by......

"You now have lost computer privileges for taking too long. Want to try for t.v. too?" I ask.

3 more minutes go by.....

"You have now lost t.v. Next I go into your room with a garbage bag and start to collect Webkinz....."

"Noooooooo! I like that she has eyes!!!!" Three of Four yells desperately.

"I like that she has eyes too!" Screams Two.

"Well, I guess that's something. Now hug."

Sigh. Twenty seven days until school starts. I'm counting.

Teen in Sheeps Clothing

Here's my latest in progress.

People ask why I'd spend so much time on a picture then add the details that I will eventually add to turn it into the bizzare. With each work I hope to capture the personality of the individual. In this situation this particular teen is embarrased to give her mother a kiss or hug goodbye at the bus stop, but has no problem walking around the front yard with Lambs Ear leaves [Stachys byzantina] stuck to her head. That's a teen for you.

"Wild Thing" Complete

"Wild Thing"

Coloured Pencil on White Stonehenge

17"x19"

I need to work. I dropped the kids off at art class and found myself jealous that they are in the class instead of me. Well, maybe jealous isn't the correct term. I'm excited for them and felt that gnawing energy in the pit of my self waiting to explode out if I didn't do something artistic.

I used to envy people their passion for whatever it was they were passionate about. Some work, some a hobby, some a type of volunteer work that they do. I never understood that kind of dedication to something, previously.

In the Bible it states that we have all been given a gift. Even from a very early age I questioned what this gift might be. Is having no discernable gift a gift?

There's always one in every group. You know, the kid that is good at every single thing they put their hands on. My Three of Four is like that. She has many gifts. She also lacks the passion necessary to foster a serious growth in the many areas that she's giften in. I pray for her she finds that passion for something.

I think that I've always had a passion for art, but was too obtuse to know this was indeed my passion. I suppose that I always believed you had to be naturally very good at whatever your passion might be. Hello! I didn't even think that maybe you have to start off bad to get good. You improve due to your passion for that activity.

It starts as a twinge. Perhaps triggered by a song, mood, story, other artworks done by someone else. It quickly turns to an eagerness to get my hands on something to create with. It expands into my whole core. A fidgity energy spreading through my limbs. I feel frustrated and like I might explode into a million bits if I don't create .... something.

Of late my garden is beautiful. This is where my creative energy has exploded to. I haven't had time to dedicate to creating on paper. Also perhaps my confidence is waning as it does from time to time. Even with something we're passionate about we need affirmation that what we are doing is good. This is where I usually take an art class or workshop to assist me in getting over my blocks. There are none in the immediate future. They start in the fall.

Serena does a drawing a day. Perhaps this is a good way for me to start since I don't see any naked people walking around my neighborhood waiting to be drawn. I'll have to wait for that until the fall expressive drawing classes at the art school. Unless of course.....one of you wants to volunteer;-)

Oh happy time! The gloriously hot full rays of the sun came out today. It was the best 20 minutes of July. Wonder when we'll see it again.

I Want Heat--A Corny Poem

Oh summer sun where have you been?

I see you not today

Your warming rays and smiling face

They seems so far away

My kids are stuck inside my home

The rain continually falls

I want them to go out to roam

Not wreak havoc in my halls

When will the weather turn hot

Like most summers in the past

One where I'm parched and sweat alot

And dehydrate real fast

Ah yes, I miss those good 'ole days

When I could sit and complain

Of those scorching burning rays

Leaving me red with pain

Please return blissful heat and sun

We want you THIS July

Summer will soon be done

How fast summer time does fly.

City Dog

Hunter is a city dog. He is not a country dog. He is not a hunting dog. Hunter IS a city dog. He likes his creature comforts.

We drove along the gravel roads with fields of long grass and wildflowers swaying in the wind. The scent of sun kissed flowers permeated the air. Wildlife, farm animals, birds and butterflies dotted the landscape. It was lovely.

We were headed up to our extended family's estate, to visit with family who were staying there from out of town. I could feel the stress of city driving melting away as I drove past waving farmers sitting atop tall farm equipment. This is a calm, friendly, slow paced place. I would enjoy two days of this bliss. Someone else would not.

"Come Hunter!" I bellowed after trying to have him exit the vehicle for approx. 5 minutes. You see, this place smelled familiar to him. He'd been here before. He hated it then as much as he was hating it now. The country!

We pushed, pulled, begged, cajoled and finally he begrudgingly left the car. He was not a happy dog.

As if he was an expected guest, the deer flies automatically attached themselves to his face. Then the wasps joined the party and a few mosquitos just because they could. They weren't bothering the people one single bit. They only had eyes for Mr. Hunter.

Each time during the two days I walked within 20 feet of my vehicle there would be a dancing black lab excitedly waiting at the car door. Hoping, pleading with his eyes to bring him back to his happy place in the city. When I turned away he'd then slowly drag himself back to one of the cottages where he could hide away from the bugs. Although he could get away from them there, he still didn't like it. It didn't have a Starbucks where he could go for a pastry snack on a walk. It didn't have other dog friends to play with and romp around the fields in a carefree way. But most of all....it didn't have his bed.

Today we're home. Back in the city. He's had his snacks, walks, met his friends. He's back in his bed. His happy place. Back in the city.

I had a race on the way to art school yesterday in front of Parliament Hill on one of our busiest streets during rush hour. It was against a horse towing a buggy. He won. Big cheater didn't always stop for red lights. When he did stop, he'd start ahead of the light turning green. No matter how hard the driver tried he couldn't keep him still.

The kids don't want their classes to end. I think the instructors probably will be happy for the weekend to come. Some of the kids are definitely a handful and I wonder what their parents do with them when they are at home. I'm surprised that one particular child hasn't managed to accidentally kill herself yet.

This afternoon is the big "art show" for the kids. There's great excitement when all of their work is unveilled. One of the fathers told me the other day his daughter wouldn't let him enter the class when it was time to pick her up for fear of him seeing her work before the official showing today. She's 6 or 7.

I've just finished a painting called "Wild Thing." This is a miracle considering there has been very little time for art since the kids have been off school. At least for me to do art. They haven't stopped.

We've been swimming in birthday's here of late. As for myself I've just recently turned the big "40" .... again. I recommend trying it more than once. It's much better and less shocking the second time around.

I was looking around the downtown core of our city today thinking that I'm not is such bad shape for someone my age. At least when I'm not falling off my bike I'm healthier than many. I just might make it up to 100 after all.

My Grandmother always wore her age like a badge of honour. Often revealing it to those she'd come across knowing that she'd leave them awestruck. She always did look a good 10 to 15 years younger than she was. She seemed to stop counting in her 90's. Not because she was no longer proud, but because she hasn't got a clue how old she is now. I'm hoping my brain ages better than hers.

Her mom lived to 102 and was as sharp as anything. Cheated in cards too! You've gotta watch those little old ladies! They're sneaky!

I look forward to next years 40th birthday. They aren't so bad once you get the hang of it!

Spooked

VE over at VE's Fantastical Nonsense was posting about ghosts today. It reminded me of one of the many of our family's own ghost stories. It goes as follows:

It was bed time and as I tucked in One of Four I had an uneasy feeling. There was was a corner in the room where at ceiling above her bed that just seemed.....darker than the rest of the room. I had the strong urge to get her out of the room and not allow her to sleep in there that night. There was a dark uneasiness about the corner and instinctively I wanted to grab her away from it.

I've heard peoples stories. I'm a rational individual. I get a giggle when people tell me about their UFO sightings, ghosts and ghouls. I convinced myself that I was being silly and left her to spend the night with the darkness in the corner. I then tucked myself in and drifted off to sleep without giving it another thought.

About 4am I heard footsteps to the bathroom. Being a light sleeper because one of the other children in the house is a sleepwalker often found using drawers or chairs as the toilet, I awaited their return to bed before settling again to make sure all was alright. A few minutes after One of Four had returned to bed I found her back up standing at my bedside.

"Mom?" she asked with a slightly alarmed voice.
"Huh?"
"Something rubbed my face."
"What?" I asked
"Something rubbed against my cheek" she replied.
"Honey, you were dreaming."
"Nooooo! I was awake. I went to the bathroom and when I got back into bed something came up to me and rubbed my cheek. I didn't see anyone so I came in here." she said excitedly.

She slept with us the rest of the night.

A few days after that she described seeing a disembodied head floating in the darkened furnace room of the basement. The head had a white ponytail. It was indeed translucent with bright blue eyes. She wasn't afraid of it and wanted to show me.

"Ummm.....let's just hang out upstairs for a while. I've got sooo much to do! It's 4pm and I have to get supper started." I suggested
"But mom....I want to show you the head!" Oh boy! I was spooked. Had the rubbing the face think had not just happened I would have in a second.
"Naaah! I think I need to stay up here right now. Don't worry about the head. You just have a fabulous imagination honey. It was just a reflection from the window. The neighbour must have walked by then." I said this knowing we had no white haired neighbour and there was nothing to reflect anything where she saw said spook.

A couple of days later I was standing in the hallway in front of her bedroom. I felt the hairs on my arms stand at attention. I instinctively looked up. There from one end of the hall racing to the other I saw the same darkness. I heard nothing. As it passed overhead I felt an urgency. Whatever it was was in a great hurry to get to it's destination. I felt a sense of annoyance at being rushed coming from overhead. It was 4pm and it was late! I knew these were things that I wasn't feeling myself but where radiating from above. The darkness never returned. (knock on wood;-)

A few days later when pondering the whole thing I got to thinking that the old lady across the street had passed away about a month prior to all of this. She had had cancer and her son had cared for her and his father as they both lived their last days and died in that house. We never spoke. Her son was a bully in middle school in my class and had changed very little in all of these years. I don't think he recognised me when they moved into our neighbourhood and I didn't help him remember. They were a very anti-social family and kept pretty much to themselves.

I would find his white haired mother with bright blue eyes and a ponytail often standing in her yard staring across at us when we played in the front yard with the kids. I'd offer a wave never to get one in return. She never wavered in her stare and stood watching us for the entire time we would remain outside. She had no grand children of her own to my knowledge.

I don't know. Maybe she just had wanted grand children of her own. If it was her.

Mr. Hunter's Happy Places

Look at this poor little face. He has one less happy place tonight. Actually two.

Mr. Hunter got Kennel cough this past Spring at the "dog park" and the vet told us never ever, ever, ever, EVER to go back there again as long as we live! Dog parks are what keep vets in business. We've not been back since.

He stopped at White Mocha's house for his manditory treat and guess what....a hideous black fanged creature has moved in. Blah! He looked quite frightened by this new member of the household and refused to step past the entranceway and ate his snack with some trepidation. The black fanged creature was just as horrified by his presence and hissed a warning.

Oh well, he still has "Cheese Slice Bob" next door and "Scooter Vivian" with dog treats in her basket. He managed to find an inground pool at the home of "Bandit," one of his dog friends and went for a swim yesterday. He was a bit alarmed when he realized he couldn't climb out, but Mr. P. yanked him out by the collar and he enjoyed his swim. He's a dog that knows all the best spots to hang in the neighbourhood. When he manages to accidentally get left out, I know all of the places that his stomach leads him.

P.S. He wants to know if anyone has any good recipes for cat meat?

Kurt makes some good comments that I'm going to reply to:

"I like a CFL for the one light we leave on when we're not at home, because it uses way less electricity.ps: I hate to be that guy, but global warming causes "changes in the distribution and intensity of [weather] events," not warmer weather."

We've had CFL's melt in a socket and shoot sparks around when it blew. More than once. No, it wasn't a problem with our electrical system or sockets. The fire marshall told us that they are looking into the safety of these bulbs as they have had many complaints about problems with these bulbs such as these. I won't leave them on when we go out. At least not indoors.

As for the changes and intensity of weather events. Haaaaa! That's might be the argument but I think in past millenia the weather patterns have been a lot more unstable than they are today. I would imagine today things are fairly quiet compaired to long ago.

As a kid I listened to the CONSTANT warnings from scientists, including David Suzuki who were predicting global cooling and the next ice age. The fear mongering was good for a time to pad his pocket and others like him. Once that fear wasn't noticed they needed to find a new "cause" to panic the public with. Hence "Global Warming" which is now "Climate Change." Remember acid rain, ozone layer, etc.... they've got to find something to get us worked up about or they're out of jobs.

As Marilyn Mansen said in Bowling for Columbine, it's all about "Fear and Consumption."

Our government is at a loss to understand why the Canadian people aren't getting upset about the H1N1 (pig flu) virus. See though....we're starting to catch on. Few people are believing their dire warnings. They need us to feel panic about something. We aren't falling for this one. Sadly though, when a bad one does hit no one will believe them!

There are so many scientists who are actual climatologist (unlike Suzuki and Gore might I add) who disagree with the climate change argument. I'm with them.

Now why not do something about pollution. That something I would agree with.

P.S. I think Kurt might kinda like being "that guy";-)

I'm Cold

Global Warming my ass!

This time of year I should be dripping sweat and burnt to a crisp. Our summers are very humid and hot.....usually.

These past two years have been cool. Coat kinda cool. Today is Sunny and warmish with absolutely no humidity. It's one of the few sunny days we've had. Our high's for the week are better suited to our fall than summer. I fear that week of hot days a while back was the only summer we might get. They're calling for a cool, rainy July. Blah!

You know what really kills me is they try to blame our cool weather on global warming too. Get real people. Pollution is a problem. Carbon dioxide is not.

BTW, while I'm at it.....Edison was a genius. He had it right. Why change to a sub-standard product when a better, safer, cheaper one is available. Compact fluorescent lighting it terrible. As an artist there is no way I can work with one of those horrible lights. Our province leader Dalton McGuinty is a complete idiot. (And a really big liar, liar pants on fire...but that's not important here.) He will ban the sale of incandescent bulbs by 2012. Hopefully we'll get a chance to "ban" him before that. If not then I'm going to stock up on the good stuff. I can't wait for our MPP to come campagning at my door next time around. [insert sinister evil laugh here!]

Happy Independence Day

Happy
July 4th
America

You lucky dogs you! If only Canada could shed the monarchy too! It's got me thinking about things that I like and don't like about being tied to Britain.

Things I don't like:

When the royals come to visit it gets charged to the Canadian people. I'd rather pay for a vacation for myself, not for her. She's got more money than anybody I know. Let her pay for the trips.

The Governor General. She's very expensive to keep. I can't think of a darn useful thing she does other than spend money and cause controversy.

We have to spell many words the British way. Colour, grey, omelette, pyjamas, cheque, etc.... (and here you thought I was just making spelling mistakes.) Being a "coloured pencil artist" does have some drawbacks.

Camilla Parker Bowles and Prince Charles. Man, people don't get much more unattractive than that! Woof!


Things I like:



.....Anyhow.... Happy Independence Day America.

Canada Day In A Nutshell

Well now that Canada Day is over and the desparate quest to find a good Canada Day cookie has passed, I expect the Canadian traffic to this site will drastically slow. (Translation for non-Canadians: Canada Celebrated it's 142nd birthday on July 1st.)

We spent part of the day on the hill wading through a sea of red and white. (Translation: We went to Parliament Hill which is in Canada's capital city....no, not Toronto! Every one was dressed in Canadian Flag colours which adorned maple leaves.)

Despite the threat of rain the crowd seemed to be even larger than last years. Well, except for on the hill itself. It seemed quiet compared to the rest of the core. The GG was speaking and then they had some music. (Translation for non-Canadians: An immigrant from Haiti who had duel citizenship from France and Canada gave up the French citizenship when there was an uproar when she was appointed the Queen's representative in Canada. At one time she and her husband were believed to have interests in the separation of Quebec from Canada. Although she seems like a lovely person, her speech was quite boring. The better musicians play later in the day and the music mid-day sucked so every body went shopping in the market area instead.

Sarah McLauchlin was singing later in the day and adorned her anti-seal hunt t-shirt. I wonder if this was for the GG's sake. If so then get a life Sarah. Like everything else, if the numbers aren't culled then problems arise. They aren't hunted in an inhumane way anymore and there are people who use them for food as they have for generations. (Translation: Michaelle Jean, the Govenor General, ate raw seal not so long ago on a visit up north. This caused an uproar and who friggin' cares!)

We went to see the fireworks at 10pm. We watched it from the Champlain bridge, not wanting to go downtown as the numbers of revellers triples by evening. The kids enjoyed it but it seemed less spectacular this year then last. All in all it was a fun day. (Translation: Big Booms, lots of people, but less miles away. Lots of fun.)

Canada Day

Mama K asked what a Canada Day Cookie was. Your guess is as good as mine! For me it was a cookie shaped like a maple leaf that had red and or white icing/sprinkles and were brought to a Canada Day party last year. It came in a package from the store. I did a coloured pencil painting of one of the children at the party sticking his very red tongue out after eating one of these cookies.

Funny, I didn't think there were so many Canadian's who cared that much about Canada Day. They enjoy the day off, fireworks, rain I suppose. (It often rains just in time for the fireworks.)

Canada Day, July 1st, is a national holiday. Well almost. In Quebec many don't celebrate Canada Day. They celebrate Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day instead in June. Oh those crazy Quebecois! Many so badly want to have their own country. Sometimes I want to give it to them!

Canada Day Cookies

I've noticed a fair bit of Canadian traffic showing on the side bar entering through my original post for Canada Day Cookies. Apparently there are a lot of patriotic Canadians looking for recipies of Canada Day cookies and they are popping in through the site of my painting titled "Canada Day Cookies."

You won't find recipies here. I hate cooking. I won't even attempt to post one. If you want a painting of your child eating Canada Day Cookies then I'm your man. Or woman as the case may be. I know....shameless advertising, but I'm always up for new models.

Happy July 1st and happy cookie recipe hunting.

BTW: The cookies came from a grocery store that the model was eating. That's how I like to cook.

Just One Question....

HOW MANY DAYS 'TILL SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN???!!!!

Hot!

Our city is being overrun by tomato people. That's what happens when caucasian Canadians forget to put there sunscreen on. That's pretty much all of them. I've been cycling mostly in sleeveless tank tops and missed a spot myself. Ooops and ouch.

The ones that aren't burnt are wrapped up in fabric from head to toe. This seems equally as uncomfortable to me and I wonder how these ladies can take the heat. I recently heard one of these devout ladies state, "It's hotter in hell if I don't dress this way."

Then there's the fur coat crowd. Mr. Hunter does the same little trick in the summer as in the winter. He wants out badly and once he's out turns right back around and scratches at the door to come in. Black is not a good colour for your fur coat to be.

One final thing about the heat.....guys, please, just because you can go out without a shirt, doesn't mean you should.

Finally Summer

I wanted summer weather so badly. Ever since Florida the cold, rainy days have been extra difficult to take. Summer is finally here. It's up to 30 and 40 with the humidity. (86F to 104F.) Yippeeee! Now I can sit in my house with the airconditioning on and enjoy it!

.....And Then The Bike Again!

This time I stayed on my bike. A guy tried to take me out. He fell, not me. He was humiliated.

I had a feeling. I stop for coffee at the halfway mark and I decided when leaving that this time I would bring napkins to sop up any blood I may leak after my manditory accident when cycling back. As it turns out I did have an accident but was not the unfortunate one. A jogger did a quick spin on the path and ran right onto my side of the path and into the side of me. I kept my balance. Yeah! He did a quick roll in the grass, jumped up, said he was okay and jogged on.

Nobody needed the napkins today. Yeah! At least not yet......knock on wood! But the day is young and I still have to cut the grass.

And Then The Car.....

I blew up the car. On the highway. Again. How humiliating.

Well, not the whole car actually. Just the front tire. Being on the highway with a car full of children and a flat tire seemed dangerous to me so I made the decision to keep driving to the off ramp which was very close. By the time I pulled over I had a shredded tire. A cop happened by as well as an expensive tow truck. The driver was very helpful trying to steer me to one of the garages nearby that he dealt with. He was also so very helpful at letting me know it probably wasn't just my tire but maybe the fuel line and expensive rim that might have to be dealt with.

HA! Right! I told him to tow it to the place I deal with and were there anything else wrong I'm sure they'd know just what to do. Also, rims aren't expensive. Nice try.

We hoofed it to the transit station just across the street. Where one of Four says with relief,

"Phew! At least after all of that I remembered to take my brush."

Ya, I was worried about that too.

By the way, the last time, which I mentioned in the opening sentence, was ceasing the engine on the same highway with two dogs along for the fun. That time I walked off along the edge of the highway with the canines panicking at my side the whole way.

First Fall of Summer

I fell off my bike. At a stop sign. Again. How humiliating.

I had to stop quickly and wasn't able to clip out of the pedals in time to get my foot down on the ground ahead of the rest of my body. My left palm beat my left foot. I was rooting for my foot to win. Either foot!

This time, unlike the last time I fell in Quebec, I had drivers and bikers, walkers, etc...coming to my aid. It was refreshing to know not all people native to this province are insensitive to others. Oddly enough though, it was all women who came to my aid. Last time there had been no women present for my big fall so maybe that explains why I got no offer of help. Men just tend to stand there watching you bleed. Nature of the beast I suppose.

As I cycled on with one pulpy purple hand, a dripping bloody leg, and many stares, I noticed that not one of the other cyclists that I passed had injuries. Old or new. Why is it that everyone else out there can manage to stay on their bikes. Many of them have clipless clip-in pedals just like me. Is it because they have spouses that love them and aren't trying to kill them in some sadistic way by insisting clipless clip in pedals give you a better workout? Death through biking? Is it possible that they are just more coordinated than me and the ones that aren't know better than to get on this kind of a masochistic contraption? (Right White Mocha;-)

One woman offered a suggestion that I loosen the grip on the pedals so I might slip out more easily. I can think of something even better though. Good old fashioned pedals, sneakers and keeping my speed under 20kms. Yah! That's the ticket, eh!

Ms. Vicki Stripes Return

Darlings,

I return without a lick of jewelry to call my own. Mr. P. could not find even one single, solitary pin to adorn my precious self. It was an interesting return trip to say the least.

Our luggage was damaged. When we arrived at the airport back home it almost seems like the luggage handlers might have attached said luggage to the underbelly of the aircraft for the duration of the flight. When Mr. P. put in a luggage claim he decided to request a bag to place all his belongings in. He got one. A clear plastic bag.

Nothing like hanging out your dirty laundry for all to see. As you can imagine, Mr. P was thrilled to walk through the airport with a pair of ladies undies in plain view!

Until next time loves,

Ms. Vicki Stripes
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Little Things

My Grandmother asked to see me. It's been some time since I had visited. She's pretty much been off her rocker of late so I've been told. She had let her kids know that they'd be going to H.E.Double Hockey Sticks because.....well, no reason, they just were. She informed my parents that she wanted to die but "The Old Guy" didn't want her so she's stuck here. She still throws things, swears like a sailor (I have never in my whole life heard so much as mild curse pass her lips) and runs people down with her walker. They restrained her with a body restraint and a tray on her chair and she managed to untie the restraints from behind the chair. The next time she found scissors and cut her way out. Another time after they had removed all scissors from her room, she was found sawing away at the straps with a nail file, crafty devil that she is!

I must admit that I proceeded to the home with great trepidation. I didn't want to see her this way or possibly be in the line of fire. I certainly didn't want the curse of H.E.Double Hockey Sticks put upon me.

I found her sitting quietly in the activity room with about 20 others listening to an entertainer with a guitar playing a variety of songs, many of which were Elvis songs.

She was very pleased to see me and once I settled on the floor beside her she started singing along to an Elvis tune. I never knew my little French Canadian Grandma was a connoisseur of Elvis. She knew each and every word. I don't know why I'm suprised though. She was rockin' to Billy Idol in the car with me one day.

Sitting there with the crazy old people made me remember why I enjoyed them so much when I was working the Family Medicine unit in the hospital. One lady was flirting with the entertainer and flaunting her sexuality, another was correcting his mistakes. One man just about tackled the nurse when he came in with the icecream. Another was visibly excited just to get juice. You know....sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life. They help us to remember that.

I have to say that's the best afternoon I've had in a long time.

Goldfish Babies

We have baby goldfish.....AGAIN!

I accidentally dropped the temperature too abruptly when changing the water in our 50 gallon tank. I brought the water level right down to the top of the fish who were on the bottom of the tank. There are 10 fish of varying sizes. The largest is a 3 year old female named Cocoa who is about the size of my closed fist. She's the only female in the tank. The only time you can really sex goldfish is in the Spring. The males will sport small white spots on their gills and sometimes front and dorsal fins. My males were not sporting their spots currently.

1 of 1 informed me early in the morning a week or so ago, getting me out of bed might I add, that her goldfish was spraying eggs and I had to come and rescue them because the fish were eating them all.

"Hello! I'm Sleeping!" Was my reply. "Plus the last batch of fish was fathered by a fish whom is now deceased. The new guys just don't have it in 'em honey."

"No Mom, they're fertilized probably! Come and get them!!!!!" she yelled anxiously.

By the time I got upstairs they ate all but a few eggs. We counted 3.

Goldfish eggs are sticky and stick to the sides of anything they touch. Including the other fish. I pulled out the ornaments where we saw the eggs and put them in a bowl of tank water with a bubbler. Turns out there were at least 7 eggs hiding on the objects.

Once hatched the fry look kind of like mosquito larvae. Personally I need to use a magnifying glass to get a really good look at them. Even then they just look like lines with dots on the end.

They have an egg sack that remains for a couple of days around their heads so they don't have to eat until it's been consumed. Now comes the hard part. Keeping the water quality up until they are big enough to be in a tank with a filter.

Apparently goldfish rarely successfully breed in a tank. Usually this only happens in ponds. Somebody forgot to let them know this! This is our third generation in about 5 years. Next time maybe I won't drop the temperature so abruptly.

The Chain Of Pain

After a weekend of hosting multiple birthday parties someone reminded me that Monday (today) was the day I had agreed to assist on a field trip to the Museum of Science and Technology for a number of classes from my kids school. Yikes! Did I really agree to do that?! What the heck was I thinking?

After about an hour of a dry presentation the kids were broken up into groups and sent around to various stations to work on experiments. I was asked to man the station which contained hand held microscopes and magnifying glasses with various samples for the kids to view. In one group one of the children brought his microscope up to a frame with sugar crystals and other various powdered substances and loudly proclaimed,

"Awww, Cool! This one looks like cocaine!!!"

He's 9. His parents must be so proud.

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My favorite part of the whole darn trip was nearing the end of the day when after my group had managed to give me a nauseous headache from taking multiple trips through the crazy kitchen with me in tow, they decided they wanted to watch the "electricity demonstration."

The scientist called all volunteers up onto the stage who were brave enough to participate. Approx. 40 kids felt just brave enough.

"If you have a pacemaker, hearing aid or are pregnant please return to your seat." she announced to the crowd of children. Hopefully none of the 8 to 10 year olds were pregnant. D'uh! A few actually did decide this might actually not be a pleasant experiment to experience and left the stage.

"Okay," the Scientist announced "now that everybody is holding hands and the girl at the end is holding the large metal ball grounded to the stage we will proceed with the experiment called "THE CHAIN OF PAIN."

Half the kids on the stage dove back into the audience in a matter of seconds. We were down to about half the number of children. I'm not sure if the remaining kids were stupid or just trying to save face, but they awaited their impending fate.

Let me just tell you when they set that thing off, there were screams and kids flying all over the place. The first half of kids closest to the largest metal sphere seemed to get zapped the strongest. The sound of the static zap was quiet loud and I was glad to be enjoying the action from the sidelines, not the stage. The second half of the group seemed to receive a milder shock and remained with their hands joined looking just slightly stunned.

I'm wondering if I can borrow that equipment for the party I'm doing next weekend;-)

Wild Thing In Progress

When she looks at you with that crooked smile you know there's trouble brewing somewhere. Here's my latest "Wild Thing" in progress and aptly named might I add!

A Sticky Situation

The sticky note faeries at work.

P.S. His hand is on his calf people!

These little guys had to jump down an area of large rough boulders which were placed along the bank last summer to prevent further erosion of the land into the stream. The first jump was the big one and I was sure she'd lose a couple in the crevices. It was close, but the one that did get stuck found a cave and made his way through the rocks out to safety. Hopefully they were able to get back up the bank again!

Vicki's Off to Poland

Hello Darlings!

It's been a long time! I've been feeling neglected of late but it's finally time to dust me off and pack me up, I'm heading off to Poland for a week. Hopefully Mr. P will take some fabulous pictures for Perp to post when I get back.

Hugs and Kisses your way,

Vicki Stripes

xoxoxox

I'm tired. I've just burnt the breakfast muffins I've made for tomorrow morning.

I have been drawing, drawing, drawing this past week. Pictures to come. I think this next portrait will be titled "Wild Thing." We'll see.

My expressive drawing class is going well. My instructor has been quite pleased with my progress. I find drawing from nude models quite a challenge. I often tape the drawings, which are quite massive, (approx. a third to a half the height of my wall) on the walls of our living room and office to self-critique for a couple of days and determine what changes I possibly would make. After the kids get home from school on Wednesdays I find my sticky notes missing from their assigned drawer and pasted over all offensive dangly bits on said drawings. I threatened to hang the whole lot out for their birthday parties coming up in the next few weeks for their friends. They weren't amused.

American White Ibis Complete

"Strut"
8"x10"
Coloured Pencil on White Stonehenge

Today we sculpted our model in clay instead of drawing her. This was my first time working with clay like this. It started off badly, but finished well. It's funny how much easier I found it to get the proportions correct than when drawing them. I actually wouldn't mind trying wax next time as instead of clay. It's supposed to hold it's form better.

The instructor I have had for these past 3 semesters is amazing. I was watching her working some clay today. She's a petite very slim lady with very strong muscular hands. She called her hands "farmer hands." I have to say though I thought they were more beautiful than any perfectly manicured hand out there. I suppose seeing what they produce leaves me in awe of them.

"Breeze" Complete

"Breeze" (Brise)

12.5"x19.5"

Coloured pencil on white Stonehenge

My butt got wet sitting here

His butt got wet sitting here

He wasn't wet at all, just hungry

The Latest Poop

My Mom received a phone call the other evening. It was Grandma.

"I'm at the hotel and I'm ready for you to come and pick me up now." Grandma told Mom.

"Ummm, Mom, you're at [insert name of nursing home here]." Mom replied.

"Hmmm.....noooo! I don't think so!?" she insists.

"Yes Mom, you are at [insert name of nursing home here]." Mom repeats.

"Well, they're just getting me ready for bed. Let me check...." Grandma checks with the nursing staff trying to ready her for bed and then returns to the phone.

"Your right! I am at [insert name of nursing home here]. In that case, pick me up tomorrow instead. Bye."

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We had a tornado here while I was gone on my blogging vacation. It was an F zero. Hit all of the adjacent neighborhoods to ours but didn't even leave a stick on the street here. Tore off bits of roofs, threw a kid across a street apparently. It took down some very large trees and did some other menacing things like destroying outdoor furniture at my favourite Starbucks.

Bastard tornado! Now where the heck am I supposed to sit this summer. It rammed the tables right into the Tim Horton's drive through next door. What are they supposed to do with them? They don't even have a patio!


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I had my first request for an autograph this past week. It was from that kind artist who previously had liked my painting "Oh Rats!" I was very humbled by his encouraging words and he provided me with a bit of advice when I shyly thanked him.

"WAKE UP!" he suggested. Good advice. How can I sell paintings if I act like I'm shocked when someone else likes them. I am grateful to him!

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The weather is warm, the flowers are starting to bloom, the coffee shops have their patios set up (well....the ones that still have patio furniture), I've purchased a couple of great art books lately and I've just finished my painting "Breeze" with the girl on the beach. It's hanging at "La Veille Alliance" in Aylmer, Quebec. If you don't want to buy the painting then go and try a pastry or the most delicious bread anywhere. They also serve coffee and lunch. Don't say I sent you unless your manners are impeccable, OK?

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm Baaackkkkk!

I'm not dead. Not that it much matters though in the grand scheme of things. I just took a blogging vacation. Why?

I was starting to dream about the various blogs I visit on a more regular basis. The final straw was when I was being chased by Bella Rum's Fathers dentures around the neighbourhood. I thought perhaps I needed a break. Now I'm back. It was like detoxing. Or at least what I imagine detoxing would be like. I struggled to forget and fought the urge to run down and blog about something funny that happened. I probably could use another week or two, but here I am. I'm back.

I now have enough people to do my apple demonstration. I'll work on that and hopefully will post it later this month or early June.

We're Up To 7 Volunteers

Our count is up to 7 people who have agreed to try a coloured pencil drawing or at least pretend they are interested in doing a coloured pencil drawing if I post one. I was looking at the list of bloggers who have volunteered and see a lot of artistic people who contribute a lot to the internet through their art. Have you visited any of their sites?

Adventurer is an award winning photographer and also draws, writes, sews, cooks and does a hundred gazillion other things. Adventurer has three upcoming exhibitions of her photographic work. You can probably find details on her blog at http://mongoadventurer.blogspot.com/ I know a bit more about her because I've actually met her, have worked with her and call her a good friend.

Serena is a painter in Australia. She has some of the most beautiful stuff on her blog and has a very talented family member who has just started creating hand sewn dolls. I find her blog to be very uplifting and I'm a regular visitor there.

Patti has a blog called Writes for Chocolate and is a writer whos blog I have been reading for years. She homeschools her kids and that in itself takes an amazing amount of creativity!

Kurt is at Other People Exist. He is another blogger whos site I've been visiting for years. He is a cartoonist and does ocassionally post one on his site. He puts out an OPE zine which I've yet to purchase a copy of. Why haven't I yet? I'm not yet convinced he exists. I enjoy his quirky blog. My 9 year old still talks about "the guy with the bacon on his blog." I won't explain further though.

Shoreacres is a new addition. I look forward to checking out her blog!

Elderly

I was just reading Bella Rum's post over at Red Umbrella. It got me thinking that nothing is ever easy for the elderly. You'd think after you've lived long enough that life would go a bit smoother. (No pun intended Bella. I'm sure your dad was wishing for less smooth, more chew!)

My Grandmother, yes the 96 year old rockin' to Billy Idol, decked out in leather Grandma, threw a wee tantrum the other day in the nursing home dining room. Apparently they changed the seating arrangement and refused to allow her her regular table. The table that has been hers for eons.

She threw dishes and let out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush.

They've (the nurses) asked for a psychiatric assessment.

As a registered nurse I worked for a time in "Family Medicine" and in the "Geriatric Assessment Unit" with many elderly people. They are set in their ways, like what they like and don't appreciate what we consider progress and change the same way as we do when we're younger. Especially the confused ones! You have to be understanding of their need to feel in control, respect their need to maintain their self-esteem, work with them to encourage change gradually or make them believe that the change was their idea in the first place. If not then look out, you're gonna be wearing their dinner plate. I've taken my fair share of lumps in the past from trying to ignore this in the interest of saving time in the workplace.

When I've gone to visit I've seen bruises on my grandmothers arms. She doesn't remember how they've gotten there. I'm getting suspicious. My Grandfather was physically abused years ago by one of his caretakers and had his finger broken. (Different nursing home.) He did remember how it happened! The elderly can be frustrating but I'm glad that my Grandmother doesn't let anyone push her around. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?;-)

Bella sounds like such a wonderful person for the sacrifices she's making and the care and love she's providing to her Father. I admire her and her husband for that!

White Mocha - New Artist Born

Okay all of you doubting Thomas'. This apple was created yesterday by "White Mocha" (my very kind guinea pig.) We worked step by step together on each of our own paintings. I'm not posting a picture of mine because, hey, they look the same. It took us approx. 3 hours to do this painting. That's pretty quick for coloured pencil art.

White Mocha has never taken an art class. She doesn't draw (or so she says!), or paint and this is her first time doing a coloured pencil painting. She had no problem at all. She did so well that it leaves me wondering if she is a closet artist painting behind closed doors.

She did suggest that it is easier to work along with me while watching rather than just following instructions. Has me thinking of posting a video instead. Hmmmm.....

Free Coloured Pencil Painting Lesson

I've been hearing how untalented the general population of visitors to my blog tend to be...according to them. At least when it comes to art. I don't for a minute believe it. It's like anything else, the more you practice the better you get. If you never try you will suck at it!

Is there anyone interested in doing a step by step demonstration with me of a simple item? If so, I can do a very simple, but realistic looking painting using just a few of coloured pencils (maybe as little as 3 or 4) that involves a very simple contour drawing. An apple. Everyone can draw something resembling the shape of an apple! If not I can even provide the contour drawing to print out. You can see how talented you really are!

If there is enough interest I'll do it. Leave a comment so I can see whether or not it's worth doing.

If I do this I will do it from start to finish in one post so there will be no waiting for the next step. Most pencil artists charge a fee for a lesson kit, but you'll get it for free! I have to have at least 10 people who are interested for it to be worth my time to create and post it. Why if it's free do I need to have at least 10 people? Because it does take time and I want to know there is actually someone trying the exercise with me.

"Breeze" About 2/3 Complete

For every 10 minutes I spend colouring I spend another 50 contemplating. After I come back to it I have a eureka moment and I can continue. Makes for slow art.

If this were acrylic I could paint on the splashes last. If this were water colour I could mask the white out. Since this is coloured pencil I have to colour around the splashes as much as possible to keep the paper white. Now onto the bubbles. HA! A whole new challenge awaits!

P.S.
Bella, that's 20 celsius not F. It's supposed to go up to 68 F. Unfortunately it doesn't actually hit that temperature until around 4pm. Makes for a couple of nice hours in the day at least. It's funny. I've seen more people this morning in shorts, tank tops and sandals even though it started out at about 39 F. in the morning and doesn't actually start to warm until at least 11 or 12. That's a Canadian for you. When we hit in the 90's or 100 F in the summer we tend to not do so well.

Grandma C, don't say the S word! Hope they've made a terrible mistake! If it snows here again I think I may start crying.

My Bike - My Death Wish

I have a carbon bike. I can pick it up with just one hand with no effort. Probably a couple of fingers if I tried. It has the ability to go really fast. If there is a cross-wind I can feel it give a bit under me. I feel like it's going to blow out from under me.

I have clip-less shoes that physically attach me to said bike. If I'm not moving fast enough I have a hard time clipping out of the pedals when I'm trying to stop.

I can't find my bike helmet. I wear my daughters ill fitted one instead.

Our bike paths have been swept, but still remain littered with branches, sticks, stones and glass not to mention slick sand and damp leaves.

I've seen bears, deer, chipmunks that dart out in front of bikes and crazy people on the bike path I regularily travel.

Just wondering......think I might have a death wish?

P.S. HI GRANDMA C! YOU WERE RIGHT! IT'S GOING UP TO 15 TODAY AND 20 TOMORROW! YIPEEE!

Cranky.....yes, again!

I've been cranky of late. No kidding you say? Yes.

I caused a 15 minute tie up at the grocery store in the express line because their new computer system at the cash charged me for Anjou Pears. I was buying an onion. The difference was 20 cents. I kept my cool, but made them fix the problem.

I called the city to complain about a 38 cent interest charge on our water bill. They refused to remove it and so I plan to turn it into a campaign. They charged me for what they thought I might have used that month and I paid for what I thought I actually used. They charged me interest on it since I wouldn't pay their estimate instead of mine. Stupid city won't read the meter more often and want me to overpay until they actually do. (Three times a year they agree to actually come and read it.)

Yesterday two gentlemen at our local Starbucks started to get into a shouting fight. I was itching to get into the middle of it. They were irritating me with their argument during what was supposed to be my happy time! But I was good, just this once.

I'm not sure why I'm so angry of late. I suppose partly I'm tired of getting taken advantage of. Everyone wants everything for free but wants me to pay them for crappy service. Prices go up and service goes down. Maybe I'm taking the wrong approach. Maybe I should happily just laugh at them while I refuse to let them take advantage of me. I think I'll give it a try.

Braces

"Well now. That completes the first phase of the braces." the peppy hygeinist notifies me with regards to 3 of 4's teeth. She had her upper braces removed today.

"Um, how many phases are there exactly?" I ask. I was told originally and a few thousand dollars ago that there was an upper, retainer and possibly lower later when she's older if need be.

"Well," she states nervously looking like a deer caught in a headlight, or a hygeinist caught in a lie "those were the ones to correct the crossover bite. She may need braces again in the future up top to correct any problems if the rest of her baby teeth don't come in straight." she says now relieved by the end of the sentence because I haven't lost it yet.

"huh. More braces. On the top again possibly you say." [insert scoffing, hysterical laughter here.] Yah, right! Once they've got you hooked they've got you for life.

Recently an orthodontist told White Mocha to save every extra penny for the foreseeable future because she's going to need it to fix her kids' teeth.

Funny thing is that they actually brace themselves (no pun intended) for the blow up when they mention the fact that there may actually be cause to put braces on again in the future up top.

When the Dr. first consulted with us he obviously gave us a watered down version of the steps. I guess they figure once you get started there's no turning back and they've pretty much got carte blanche with your bank account. WRONG! As long as the ones that show when she smiles are straight, then anything else is just gravy baby.

Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy.

We had two visitors this weekend.

I tell my children a giant rabbit carrying disgusting amounts of candy and chocolate will come to our house while they are asleep, break in, leave said candy and disappear into the night like a bandit. All for free! Why does this not disturb them? I don't normally let them eat candy from strangers!

I tell my children that a strange lady that is of the fairy species will also break into our home and leave a gift or money in exchange for a used, discarded, pulpy, bloody little tooth.

"Why does the fairy do this?" my daughter asked.
"How the heck should I know. Maybe she's just a sick, sick, repulsive little creature that likes to collect used teeth." I reply.

They've heard the tale of a fairy using teeth to build her castle. One I personally always found repulsive, but passed on just the same. They know the story, but ask every time anyhow. Why are they okay with this? Normally they wouldn't accept gifts or money from strangers. Especially weird people that want a body part in exchange for their gift.

It has always surprised me that the older ones don't spoil the fantasy for the younger ones once they find out. Goodness knows there's been a few times when I've wanted to!

New and Improved

This may look like the same one, but it's actually a new one started from scratch. It's slightly smaller than the first and I've varied the colours slightly in the clothing. It's coming along quite quickly. Now comes the most difficult part. The splashing water will be the most time consuming part.

Bad Art Day

Adventurer has told me in the past to keep making art. Even if it has to be bad art. If it's a bad art day keep doing it anyways and get through it so you can start making good art again. Today was one of those difficult art days.

I went to my "Expressive Figure Drawing" class. It's the last one this session. The model was an hour late, but the time was spent productively viewing an art show in the schools gallery of whom my instructor was the feature artist. When the model arrived the work proceeded and although I was making positive progress, my frustration level was high and for the first time ever, I packed up and left the class early. Why was I frustrated? Why was my charcoal not doing what I wanted? Who knows. I think it just would have been one of those days regardless of what I was doing. The art wasn't going much better at home. I was afraid my bad art day would spill onto my current painting and potentially do irreparable damage. I put it aside with my temper and did laundry instead.

Just as Grandma C promised the nice weather is on the way from her part of the country, I just know the good art days are too! I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm suffering from a Vitamin D deficeincy much like many others around me. And no, not the kind you can get from a pill.

Canada Day Cookies

Recipe:
Take one kid
Add one maple leaf shaped cookie with red icing
Add one artist with a camera
Also add a set of unsuspecting parents
and..... VOILA!
You get a painting called "Canada Day Cookies"

Still snowing. Blahhhh! When will summer come? In the region of Canada we're in we really only have 2, occasionally 3 seasons not 4 as many believe. We often go directly from winter cold to summer hot. I miss those days. We are actually getting an old fashioned Canadian Spring with unexpected snowfalls, rain and a sunny day about one day every 2 or 3 weeks.

April showers bring May sours. At least sour is how I'm feeling right now.

At least I finished another painting today! The snow stops my hapless wanderings through the hood in an attempt to exercise thus increasing my overall productivity level.

Snow....Yet Again. Yippppeee.....NOT!

It's snowing here again. AGAIN...and AGAIN!! The sun's not supposed to come out until Friday. What flippin' happened to global warming? I was looking forward to that!

White Mocha informs me that the maple sugar season is pretty much over for this year. There was not a big run this year so if you like real maple syrup it's going to cost you! We only had a couple of good days for the sap to run. The temperatures need to go below zero degrees C at night and above zero during the day. The trees won't run if it's windy or cloudy or warm. It needs to be sunny but not too hot. Picky trees. How does she know all this? Her family's in the business. Why don't I call her Maple Syrup instead of White Mocha? I dunno.

PLEASE! PLEASE GOD! Bring us some warmth and sunny goodness!

The Day After April Fools Day!

I didn't post on April Fools day. I don't like April Fools day. If you've read any of my other posts lately let me ask you, do I need help looking like an idiot?

2 of 4 got a skateboard. I've tried it and I haven't killed myself on it yet.

I went for my first bike ride of the season the other day with my clipless, clip-in shoes. I didn't fall that day.

I went to my expressive drawing class yesterday and left with a charcoal nose but no other injury.

I went to "Framed!" yesterday and put together my last project. I didn't glue, nail, or break anything in any way than how it should be dealt with. Well......okay, maybe I glued myself a little bit, but it was only white carpenters glue not that crazy stuff.

My family KNEW I was not in my happy place and quickly discontinued their plotting. Smart people.

I appear to be on a roll. Why jinx it by participating in April Fools day. Whether as a joker or jokee, I would always land up coming out the fool.