Wednesday, 1 February 2006

Brain Farts and Nut Cases

I took a trip this evening to buy ice skates at Walmart. For the normal person this would be an easy thing. For me, it's an exercise in the abnormal that I need to live through to find material to write about for this blog. I say that though, knowing of course that if I didn't have a blog these odd things would still happen to me. I just like to think that they have a purpose other than I'm just another nut magnet!

I was attempting to call home on a brand new (second hand) cell phone that my husband had just purchased for me. I was walking with the look of a person with a purpose I suppose, while staring at my new phone, attempting to get a stronger signal.

I was interupted by a woman with a heavy Eastern European accent asking me what I did for a living. She looked normal, pleasant and well groomed....clean. She appeared to be well spoken and intelligent.

Now I'm not one to give out personal information to perfect strangers in the middle of a Walmart, but my curiosity got the best of me and I gave her some uninformative vague answers to her questions.

I was a woman that was emitting great confidence, and purpose....apparently. She said I looked well put together. Snort! For a street person perhaps. Was I interested in a job for XYZ (false name of course) financial company? She pulled out a little pad and wrote her name and number and handed it to me. (What? No business card?) Ya thanks! I be calling you for a job tomorrow.

Some crazy things go through ones mind when these things happen like:

*Is she going to make a pass at me?
*She could use an appointment with a dentist for a whitening treatment.
*Lovely accent! I wonder if she ships unsuspecting women overseas to work as prostitutes. (and I'm such a fabulous pick!)
*Which "financial" company do you work for, really!? And how much do you get if I get hired on.
*Do you have someone behind me trying to get my wallet or are you just looney.

While I stood there waiting for my improptu interview end, it hit me! I forgot to put on my scary unapproachable face before leaving the house darn it! Not that it matters, because it makes me that much more of a challenge! It's the nose. I have a little cute turned up nose that makes me look friendly, approachable and like a sucker. The kind of nose that makes Tom Hanks look perpetually boyish despite his advancing in years. Yes, it's the nose!

Oh and here's one for Mr. Incredulous at People Say Stupid Things:

The phone rang the other day, which I made the rare mistake of answering. I rarely do. That is indeed what answering machines are for! TO WEED OUT THE LOONIES PEOPLE!

"Hello, I'm calling from blah, blah, blah, and I would like to talk to you about the Consumers Choice Awards." said the poor interviewer on the other end of the line.

"Oh, no, I'm not interested in participating. I never watch that show." I muttered distractedly as I turned and hung up the phone.

Then it hit me. He wasn't calling about the "People's Choice Awards." Like someone would be calling Canada about that anyhow. After I had finished laughing I thought of Mr. I sitting in the place of the interviewer, shaking his head and then writing about my brain fart on his blog the next day.

I think I spend too much time looking at blogs. I'm starting to connect my everyday life with them far too much! LOL.


Kurt said...

Get that game face ready, Perp!

Todd said...

Sometimes I go skating.

Deb said...

When I put my "game face" on to go to Wal-Mart, mothers grab their children and cringe in terror. I should mention I Don't wear makeup then. LOL

LOL. You sound like me. I would have thought the woman was making at pass too. You're hilarious!

fourth_fret said...

i had no idea wal-mart sold ice skates. i'm in awe. kind of.

Mr. Incredulous said...

I think it's funny that--apparently-- the interviewer doesn't know the dif between area codes in the US and Canada. And who put together his call list, anyway?
Actually, I once got a call from a man looking for an old buddy of his in Toronto. My area code (570) isn't even remotely close to Toronto's!