Monday, 28 August 2006

It was late. I decided to check the locks before retiring to bed for the evening. I casually walk over to the door of my apartment, sure that it must be locked, since I am the only one living there. Darn! It's unlocked. It's that crazy woman again leaving the door unlocked when she comes in. It's just then that she re-enters the apartment. Rushed and dressed to the teeth for an outting ostrich perhaps. Her feather boa is full, fabulous and definately out of style.

I have never actually met her before, and am a little taken aback by her flamboyant appearance. None the less, I give her heck for leaving the apartment door unlocked. "It's not safe you know!" I chide her. Annoyed with myself for allowing her to have a key.

She seems unconcerned and goes on with her business. The tramp!

I walk down the hall towards the bedroom. It's dimly lit. The only light is provided by God's own moon. The windowless hallway is short and it's but a few steps to the comfort of cool sheets, warm blankets and a soft pillow. Perfect peace and happy slumber.

Unfortunately, Two other individuals have other plans for me. They must have let themselves in through the unlocked door.
"Blasted woman!" I say as I see their wispy figures materialize before me. Ghosts.

"Wooooooo! We're here to get you Sandi." Says the first.
The second pops in unceremoniously.

I am frightend at first, but then just annoyed that they are standing between me and my cozy bed. I know there is no polite request that will assure their departure. One must be firm when dealing with the spirit world.

"WWWWUUUUAAAAAH!" I scream as loud as humanly possible. It's drastic, but the only chance I have to rid myself of my unwanted visitors is to scare them away.

"Shhhh. It's ok dear! It's ok. Shhhh." I hear as I feel a gentle pat on my arm. I awaken.

"Did I just scream out loud?" I say unbelievingly
"Yes!" The other half of we replies, "and you just about gave me a heart attack you screamed so loudly!"

We settle back, letting sleep again overcome us. Well, one of us does. I get a bad case of the giggles. Actually, it starts off as giggling and then turns into hysterical belly laughing and snorting. Enough to shake the bed.

Twenty minutes later, after I start to come down from my happy high, I tell the Mr. that, "at least I'm not my father!"

One night while entwined in his sheets, feeling he is being restrained by an angry assailant, he uses his best kick boxing and karate moves to fight and break free. My mother was not a happy woman that night.

Not to be undone, my mother, also being attacked by unrelenting night time assailants, brings her leg back to get a full kick at her ghostly enemy. My father finished his sleep in the other room.

I'm not sure why my family is plagued by these types of dreams, which tend to end in our partners being startled, bruised, or just plain sleep deprived, but gosh....they sure are fun!


Kurt said...

I wish I slept.

Deb said...

LOL. Great post, as always! :) They should make a reality show about you, you're a hoot!

GoofyJ said...

lol! that is so hillarious :)