Tuesday, 28 November 2006

Last Mom Standing

Caution! This entry contains Barbie nudity and possibly some course language by the end of my rant. Viewer discretion is advised!

I was going to spend this blog entry speaking about the charming creature I found dressed in a skirt and lovely matching scarf at the grocery store a while back. (No....it wasn't a kilt he was wearing. Most definately a cordoroy skirt.) The cable to hook my cell phone up to the computer was missing....big suprise. This led me to sit in frustration and scan my desktop.

I just want to know who the heck had a party at my desk and forgot to invite me! I will clean it, yet again, and by tomorrow or the next day tops it will be right back to the way it was today.

I stood at the bus stop this morning (after a rousing game of beat the bus) with my neighbour and her two daughters. Long after the bus had left her remaining four year old child continued on with the all out screaming tantrum that she had apparently started long before in the house. Let's call my friend"White Mocha" after her favourite Starbucks treat, offered to kindly donate the minor to our family free of charge. As generous as the offer was, I had to decline. I have an identical model already inhabiting our humble abode. She's called Three of Four. And on some days she can seem horrendously evil.

I feel bad for my friend having to remain cooped up in her house with such a beastly creature. So, out of the kindness of my heart, I will go out to coffee with her this afternoon so that she will have a chance to get away from sharing quality time alone with her daughter. I don't do this for just anyone you understand. Going to coffee is one of the more trying dutiesthat my job entails.

Anyhow, this lead me to think that there should be a show in the spirit of "Last Comic Standing" called Last Mom Standing. As painful as it would be to watch, I would get a deep down sense of relief watching the show and seeing that other peoples' kids can be as rotten as mine sometimes are, and that doesn't make me a bad parent for wanting to donate them to my friends occastionally.

As much as I love my children, there are times when I wish that children were something that you take out on special occasions and put away when you aren't using them. The rest of the time however, I feel blessed and greatful that they are here. Oddly enough at the end of a particularily trying day, it's usually when they are asleep and looking so angelic that I am greatful.

Well, that's it for today. I need to dislodge the rat from the pencil he has just destroyed and get him to his cage before he moves onto the wiring.


Angela said...

I was wondering if you know of any children skipping the scary/terrible stage? Do I have hope? My son is 14 months old and if it will happen how much longer do I have?

Adventurer said...

Oh my dear, that was one of the benefits of shared custody. Now in a second rotation of CUs, I think I'm in for it big time .

Grandma "C" said...

Well my dears, it only lasts for 18 years, the real trying times are puberty as both boys and girls go through this stage of aging. But you know what just when you really think you can't take any more, surprise, surprise they have grown up and made you a grandmother, and you get to watch it happen all over, as a spectator. Ah life is grand, and so is the "Mother's Curse".

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Until you are cold in your grave Angela. lol. They do get better for a couple of years, but my pre-teen is starting with the attitude, so we're starting again with her;-)

Kris said...

Hehe...sounds like my house. Shall we swap? LOL


Adventurer said...

Kris, I think that's a pretty good idea. Wasn't it Hillary Clinton that said it takes a village? But then again, she only had the one to contest with.

Sariah said...

I absolutely LOVE hearing that I'm not the only one that would gladly give away my children and think they're horrible. But at the end of the day, I do the same thing... I look at them sleeping and think they are so wonderful and perfect and I love them so much. Now, if only the 4 year old would actually GO to bed and FALL asleep so I could have such wonderful thoughts about him. ;)

Mr. Incredulous said...

Change of topic: the pencil that was ruined. Was the rat eating or humping it?