How hot is too hot?

I hate to be one to complain....(snicker) but could you please tell me how one is supposed to even attempt to adjust to going from soggy, dripping wet, chilly days that force one to dress is Autumn attire to "please don't wear your thong around your yard where we (the neighbours) can see you. And by the way, where is your bikini top? Is butt floss an appropriate bathing suit for a woman of your age and ample build?"

Ok. So I don't really own a thong....that I'm willing to admit to. And I do have a shirt and bra on. (otherwise my boobs would be banging on my knee caps. I hate when that happens!) But we were stuck in the house because of the rain. Now we are stuck in the house because my wee ones are burning even with sun screen on.

definition: wee ones=children. (get your mind off my chest)

OK, OK. I know! I asked for the heat. I just wished a few days of 22 degrees or so had come first to prepare me for the transition. I could have had all of my planting done so that I'm not crisping while doing it. I am after all fair skinned.

definition: Fair skinned=ghostly pale with ugly brown splotchy freckles and moles covering
every spare mm of ones body. (Ooooh! how lovely! Nothing's more attractive than a native born, naturally strawberry blonde Canadian, eh?)

I fully expect to develop skin cancer in the next couple of years or so.

Have a fabulous day. Enjoy the sun while it lasts. The way the weather has been this year, I expect we will soon be seeing snow.

P.S. Is there such a thing as a thong with a control top for that belly bulge?