I have always been told that God gives each of us a gift. Some of us have even been fortunate enough to receive more than one. Wow. The trick is to find out what that gift is and to use it to the best of our God given ability to serve him and others. Did he doze off when I got up to bat or what!?

I'm not sure what my gift is. Perhaps in my case he decided to send me on a scavenger hunt to figure out what it might be. Maybe eventually I will figure out what the heck I'm doing, but not yet. I just hope I've actually figured out exactly what it was before I finally expire! I think I may be getting close.....to expiring that is. Much like that green powder puff tangerine in my daughters lunch bag, along with the 5 sandwiches sitting there since December 22nd that I just found....I should be put out to pasture. Squirrel food.

My melancholy mood all started with two boxes of hair dye and a book called "2006 Artist's & Graphic Designer's Market."

Santa decided that my daughters were good this year and should get what they asked for for Christmas. 2 of 4's heart's desire was a box of temporary hair dye. Copper Explosion to be exact. What does that mean in laymans terms? Honey... that means Orange.

Now there was a time that having orange hair meant that you called yourself a red head and hoped that you didn't get beat up before lunch. If you didn't get called carrot top before the end of the day it's because you stayed home sick from school. Now unbelievably kids actually want to have orange hair.

1 of 4 decided that if her sister was to have orange hair there was no earthly reason why she shouldn't be allowed to have passionate plum to enhance her beauty. Translation: A burgandy purple. I don't even think the colour purple had yet been invented when I was a kid. Nobody wore or dyed anything purple that I can remember. Huh. Purple?

Anyhow, a very dear friend gifted to me some business cards with kind and supportive words, along with the above mentioned book. I was pumped. I was going to sell my art. Well, not the stuff that I've already done, cause I haven't done any yet, but the great stuff that I would produce. Then I read the book.

Apparently it helps with your endeavours if you have actually trained as an artist first. I'm friggin' 41 years old! Do they think that I'm some kid just out of school or something? Do I look like a have hours a day to sit down and produce art, go to school, wear weird clothes, become gay and learn the art lingo? Heck! My brother-in-law is just recovering from a heart attack at 39 years old! I'm on my way down baby! Art couldn't possibly be my gift to give! Is this some kind of a sick joke, because I'm too old to learn something new now!

Please note that in the afore mentioned book..."2006 Artist's & Graphic Designer's Market"....the editor instructs the user that the first stage when one considers a career in art is the Denial ("I can't do it!) stage. I'm there baby!

After entering one of the caption contests in the New Yorker I received a form e-mail encouraging me not to give up. After all this particular cartoonist submits at least 40 cartoons for every one that get's published. Great. At a cost of about $3.50 cdn to mail it with a SASE to the states per cartoon, plus paper, ink and envelopes I'm looking at a profit of about negative $90-$125.00/accepted cartoon. Woohoo! [wimper, sob]

At 39 I took up the piano, quilting, co-ordinating a children's program, dressing up lawn ornamentation of strangers. At 40 I took up blogging. What makes my true passion so hard to take a chance at? Fear of failure? An inadequate amount of time? Not wanting to see naked people modelling knowing I couldn't draw the private parts without a giggle? Your guess is as good as mine!